Originally written on The North End End Zone  |  Last updated 11/5/14
Yeah, that's right.  BDubs is now doing basketball.  This isn't the first nor last time you will see this picture.  Eat crotch, Greg Paulus.  Wonder what he's up to anyway?  Ah, yes, he's a video coordinator for Ohio State basketball. Oh joy! Click to read more.  You won't be disappointed.

This never gets old...hahahaha

Actually, did you know this happened to Paulus again??  Yeah it did.  See below.  Man, this kid sucks.  It's no wonder he tried his luck in football.  He just screams douchebag.  Hm, how does it feel to eat scrotum Mr. Paulus?  Not once, but twice.  Actually, we're pretty sure it happened more than that.  We realize Coach K teaches his kids to draw the charge, but at some point you have got to start wondering...

Seriously, what a douche

OK, we've gotten off track and we suppose it's time to move on.  But hot damn, that is absolutely hilarious.  See how easy it is to get lost in the story of "Greg Paulus Sucked my Balls"?  Anyway, not to be outdone, our big man Victor Davila (we call him Boo Boo) likes to dunk on people, too.  Get it done, big man, get it done.  


So that brings us to the real reason of this post.  Wait, what was that again?  Oh yeah, our men's basketball team.  Yes, we do have a basketball team. Betcha nobody really knew that. Led by Uncle Fest...err...Seth Greenberg, the Hokies try again to make an NCAA tournament appearance.  Will it happen? Probably not.  Will we still root for them?  Yeah.  

Yeah, we've heard the comparisons before, but man, it's so CLEARLY there!  It's just impossible to resist.  Fittingly, the picture of Greenberg is how he looks 99% of the time in games.  It's THAT frustrating.  

Alright, well who do we have playing for us this year?  Malcom Delaney and Jeff Allen are gone.  But you know what?  That's probably for the best.  Too much ego and not enough team play.  Jeff Allen was especially annoying.  He was good for getting into foul trouble in the first five minutes of the game and usually managed one technical foul per game (yeah, see pic below - case in point) while Delaney, even though our best player, usually took 8-10 stupid shots a game.  

You stay classy, Jeff Allen

Good Guys


PG, Erick Green  
What Hokiesports says: Most statistically-improved player in the ACC last season.  
What we say: He damn well better help pick up the scoring void left by Malcom Delaney or we're f*cking screwed.   

SG, Dorenzo Hudson  
What Hokiesports says: Had his "breakout" season in 2009-2010 where he was third-team All-ACC
What we say: Why the hell are they using quotation marks around breakout?  He DID breakout.  Need him to be a scorer, too, or else we're f*cked. 

SF, Dorian Finney-Smith
What Hokiesports says: One of the top incoming freshmen in the ACC
What we say: He's a freshman.  That means unless he plays for Duke or UNC that he is probably going to be average. 

PF, Jarell Eddie
What Hokiesports says: Talented player who will see significant playing time at a number of positions for the Hokies this season
What we say: This guy is a pothead.  He's effing lucky to be playing this year.  But here he is and with J.T. Thompson out for the season again, he's going to need to step up the intensity.  

C, Victor Davila 
What Hokiesports says: A legitimate low-post threat with terrific hands and footwork
What we say: Uh, for his career he's averaged 5 points and 4 rebounds a game - what about that screams legitimate low-post threat?  And have these people watched a bball game?  Can you say worst hands on the team??  


PG, Tyrone Garland
What Hokiesports says: Strong, explosive player who can score the ball
What we say: Hahahahaha.  What??  This kid sucks.  If he's not careful, he might be the next Hank Thorns

PG, Marquis Rankin 
What Hokiesports says: A pure point guard who distributes the ball well
What we say: Hope so! Anything is better than Garland.  But he's hurt, so we won't see much of him anytime soon. 

SG, Robert Brown
What Hokiesports says: Shoots the ball with range
What we say: Yeah, he better make a ton of 3s.  Outside of him, we don't have anyone who can do it very well.

OK, so there are some more players than that on our bench.  But honestly, do any of you even care?  Plus, it's time to stop writing about them.  It's just plain boring.  Just thought we'd introduce you to them and give a comparison on what experts like Hokiesports say about our players and what we have to say about them.  


The Orange

Yeah, we play Syracuse on Wednesday.  Guess what?  We're probably going to get absolutely crushed.  But you know what?  Who cares!  And guess what else?  This is their mascot:

God we love it when mascots are this ridiculous

Seriously, W..T...F??  First of all, oranges don't grow in New York.  It is, on average, below zero 364 days out of the year.  That one day?  Yeah, don't worry about that day.  Second, why in the hell would you make your mascot an orange?  Were they just that lazy that they couldn't think of anything better?  Did somebody wake up one day and say "Hey, I know, we're going to be the Syracuse ORANGE!  PURE GOLD, BABY, PURE GOLD!!"?  If so, can we just go ahead and give him a swift kick in the nuts?  Honestly.  

So, what do you need to know about these guys?  Well, they are coached by Jim Boeheim.  Last we checked, he was a pretty damn good coach.  Did that change this year?  Anybody?  No?  Yeah, that's what we figured.  Syracuse checks in as the #5 team in the country.  Uh, yeah.  They are pretty freaking awesome and it certainly doesn't help the game is in Madison Square Garden.  Awesome.  Not only one of the best teams in the nation, but also some home court advantage for them.  

Well, if we're going to lose, at least we can laugh at this face

There is absolutely no reason to talk about any of their players.  All you need to know is that they are better than ours.  But seriously, we could beat these guys.  In college basketball, stranger things have happened.  Hell, Long Beach State beat then #9 Pittsburgh. We have to be better than Long Beach State, right?  RIGHT?!  Well regardless, Long Beach State backed up their huge win by losing to San Diego State in their very next game.  Ha.  But anyway, we can definitely win this game!  


So, how do we get motivated?  THIS is how!  

That's right!  Peanut butter jelly time!  Make it happen.  GO HOKIES!!

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