Texas A&M 56, Vanderbilt 24
Before Andre Ware's transition lenses had a chance to transition, Texas A&M led Vanderbilt 28-0. Amazingly though, based on those first 17 minutes of the game, that lead shrank to 28-17 at halftime.
Said coughing up of a four-touchdown lead came courtesy of a Johnny Manziel interception, a turnover on downs, an onside kick recovery by Vandy, and a fumble by Trey Williams. So after being on the verge of losing by 470, Vandy was able to return the game to a competitive zone.
Then, with all of that momentum and good fortune showing its gold, Vandy starting quarterback Patton Robinette threw an interception on the first play of the quarter, and the interception was returned for a touchdown. LET'S GO, WE GOTTA BEAT TRAFFIC.
And that was just the start to Vandy's third quarter. Here are the results of each of their third quarter possessions:
-INT for touchdown
-Turnover on downs at their 37
(Oh, and just because he might feel a little lonely, the Commodores also had a 17-yard punt in the second quarter.)
So how did Texas A&M do in that third quarter? 21 points to Vanderbilt's none.
Alabama 45, Tennessee 10
Butch Jones spent the week referring to Alabama as "the Red Team" in either an effort to convince his team that this was just another opponent, or it was some sort of Dan Mullen-ish TSUN ******** that appeals to the lowest common denominator. Even if the idea of "red team" was created to have his team focus on the opponent and what they do and not who they are, you make sure no one outside the team finds out about it.
The correct play is to always be boring, relying on cliches and pouring out praise for the other team, and in Jones' case, a chance to use a line like David versus Goliath, only David doesn't have a slingshot. You know, SOMETHING THE MEDIA WILL EAT UP WITH A SPOON.
Instead, this is what "red team" brought out of Alabama and AJ McCarron:
"I never really say anything about the other team, but I kind of took this one personal. I felt disrespected. I know a lot of people on the team (did). For them to say we don’t deserve the respect to be called Alabama and then to call us 'red team?’”
He went on to say he wanted to score as many points as possible and not come out of the game.
Fortunately for Butch Jones and Tennessee, Nick Saban is merciful. If I was in Saban's spot, we would've scored 100 and had the scoreboard read:
Red Team 105
Butch's Clipper Guard Size 0
But, I am not in Saban's spot, because on my first day as a graduate assistant when they told me it was going to be an 18-hour day, I would have stolen has many t-shirts and shorts from the equipment room as I could carry and never returned.
LSU 48, Furman 16
My kingdom for having been in the stadium when the Paladins returned a Zach Mettenberger interception for a touchdown to take an early 7-0 lead.
South Carolina 27, Missouri 24
Leading South Carolina 14-0 at halftime, and getting the ball to start the second half, here are the results of Missouri's possessions as they attempted to book their passage to Atlanta after being dismissed by everyone when they joined the conference:
5 plays, 15 yards, punt
7 plays, 58 yards, FG (now lead 17-0)
3 plays, 3 yards, punt
6 plays, 37 yards, missed FG (lead 17-7)
3 plays, 4 yards, punt (lead 17-10)
Right in that hot pile of Branson buffet garbage is where they lost the game. Score a touchdown on any of those possessions and it's more than likely too much for South Carolina to match, even with a one-legged Connor Shaw slinging it around like something out of a Steve Spurrier dream world.
Everyone will point to the missed field goal in overtime, which obviously should have been made, but if they had put ANYTHING together in the third quarter, overtime never happens and the assholes on Twitter (and in real life) aren't swarming on Andrew Baggett (language warning on the link).
Auburn 45, Florida Atlantic 10
I mean, those people. Just awful, awful stuff.
ANDREW BAGGET DOESN'T COME DOWN TO THE METH LAB WHERE YOU WORK AND CALL YOU NAMES FOR SCREWING UP THE SUDAFED COUNT.
Ole Miss 59, Idaho 14
The most unnerving portion of this game came with about five minutes to go when I noticed that many starters on the Ole Miss defense were still in the game. Not because of Hugh Freeze's deep hatred of potatoes and their carbohydrates, but because we had no one else to put in the game, particularly on the defensive line and at linebacker.
By the way, as a reminder of one of the many stupid things ESPN does, let's take a look at their quarterback rating formula they created this season. Some stat lines from this game:
Taylor Davis (Idaho) - 12-30, 166 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT (7 carries, 13 yards, 1 TD)
Barry Brunetti (Ole Miss) - 7-7, 94 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INT (2 carries, 4 yards)
Final ESPN QBR:
Davis - 21.0
Brunetti - 21.3
And how about one more:
Dylan Thompson (SC) - 15-27, 222 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT (2 carries, 5 yards)
Connor Shaw (SC) - 20-29, 201 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INT (7 carries, -8 yards)
Final ESPN QBR:
Thompson - 72.7
Shaw - 62.8
Double Your Paycheck Results
Week: 2-4 (.333)
Season: 27-39-1 (.402)
BACK TO BEING POOR.
2013 Jevan Snead Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Quarterbacking Failure Leaderboard
Awarded to the SEC quarterback who throws the most interceptions during the regular season
1. Johnny Manziel 8
1. Justin Worley 8
3. Brandon Allen 7
3. Austyn Carta-Samuels 7
3. Zach Mettenberger 7
6. Aaron Murray 6
7. Nick Marshall 4
8. Jeff Driskel 3
8. Dak Prescott 3
8. Bo Wallace 3
8. James Franklin 3
8. Dylan Thompson 3
8. Patton Robinette 3
14. AJ McCarron 2
14. Nathan Peterman 2
14. Tyler Murphy 2
14. Maty Mauk 2
14. Jeremy Johnson 2
19. Tyler Russell 1
19. Jalen Whitlow 1
19. Maxwell Smith 1
19. Connor Shaw 1
What To Look Forward To This Week
Mississippi State at South Carolina
Which quarterback rotation will lead to the fewest disasters? Is a three-limbed Connor Shaw more effective than the other quarterbacks and their 12 limbs? If given the opportunity, will Spurrier score another late TD for the ball boy just out of habit?
Georgia vs Florida (Jacksonville)
Will Todd Grantham match 80% of the fans in attendance and do something inappropriate? Is there enough alcohol in Duval County to make the Florida offense look "hey, showing some signs of life!"? Is Will Muschamp overrated, underrated, properly rated, or THAT IS THE STUPIDEST FORM OF DISCUSSION EVER CREATED PLEASE STOP DOING IT?
Auburn at Arkansas
After the game:
-Will BERT take to passing out flyers besmirching fast-paced offenses?
-Will BERT go on Mike Huckabee's show to present his case for the danger the fast-paced offense poses to the fabric of America?
-Will BERT question whether we even live in America anymore?