What up you whiny ass *******? You want to know if I’ve lost my touch? The answer is a resounding **** you. Yes, I’m 6-12 on the year so far. Yes, I’m down $840. But **** you. Also, you take one ******** lucky play away from Johnny Swagball, and you make Jeff Driskel one less turnover incompetent, and I’m +$420. Give me one of those two and I’m down $210 and nobody is worried. I’ve ran poor the last two weeks on defensible big plays that haven’t gone my way. Have I been as sharp on my one unit bets as I should be? Nah. But when conference play starts and we get 6 legit games a week instead of debating if North Carolina and Georgia Tech is worth the wear and tear on our keyboard to cover, I’ll be fine. Ain’t no sweat in my brow, brah. All I need is a bit of below average luck and I’ll be in prime position to make my patented bowl season run and score a 4th consecutive winning season. And if things balance out, then watch out.
So here we go with the closest thing to the 6 marquee matches for week 4, and you best believe I got a big play and a medium play that I’m ready to roll with, and have no intention of coming back next week and regretting either. As for the other four? Hell, a man’s luck has to change eventually, that counts for the baby plays too, but hell if I’m going to sit here and tell you these are way better then previous efforts. I’m a big game player, I’ll step the 1 units up when the schedule makers do the same.
Bryan: 11-7 ATS, +$420
K.M: 6-12 ATS, -$840
Hot Hook Ups: 3-4, -$250
Weeks to date:
Week 4 (All Lines as of Wed at 1PM from 5Dimes)
Boise State (+3.5) at Fresno State
Bryan: Just feels so weird thinking Boise State could be 2-2 when this game is over. Boise State notoriously does well in these big games and with a loss to Washington already, could they really drop a second before the calendar hits October? Washington eviscerated this defense with similar offensive talent but can Fresno State just throw the ball over and over and beat Boise State? At least Washington had a running game of sorts. I’m betting history here. You act like I’ll be upset if Boise loses. We all know I’m a Boise hater. I’d eat a loss here for Boise State to lose.
Prediction: Boise State 34 Fresno State 31 (1 unit/single play)
K.M: Who can forget that magical night to open the season where Fresno threw the ball 73 damn times to eek out a win over future Big Ten ***** of Ohio State Rutgers? Me, for one, because I totally forgot about that **** until I looked at Fresno’s season to date. Boise did a pretty good job against Air Force so hey nice going. Must be an interesting swing for Boise, hosting a team that doesn’t pass, then going to a team that has little use for the run. Can’t be easy. Fresno State can’t be that rusty, it’s not like playing Colorado would have amounted to anything more then a glorified scrimmage against the winner of the Fresno State intramural flag football league anyway. I am a leader in the movement of not giving two ***** about small schools so I’ll just default and lay the points. Hey, Washington had an offense and beat Boise, so this is the same thing, right? No really, I’m asking you, I don’t know.
Prediction: Fresno State 42, Boise State 31 (1 unit/single play)
DERP DERP DERP
Tennessee (+17) at Florida
K.M: Yea Jeff Driskel is going to cover 17 points that’s hilarious
Prediction: Florida 14 Tennessee 0 (1 unit/single play)
Bryan: The day I lay 17 points with Jeff Driskel is the day I walk away from gambling. Tennessee just can’t turn the ball over and gift the Gators points. Could see Florida winning by 40. Could see them grinding out an ugly win. Tennessee is still a wild card of sorts. Feel like Oregon showed they’re not that legit but nonetheless they seem respectable enough to hang within 17 here. I’ll take the 17 and hope for a backdoor cover at worst.
Prediction: Florida 27 Tennessee 14 (1 unit/single play)
Hot Hook Up: Tennessee with the points (1 unit/single play)
Utah State (+6.5) at USC
Bryan: With our Hot Hook Ups below the profit line I feel like I should avoid playing Utah State here because I can’t afford to take chances just hoping to make that money back. Still I don’t think much of USC. Question for me is can Utah State’s skill players make enough plays for Chuckie Keeton to give Utah State a realistic chance. The Trojans quarterback play last week looked better and if USC has an offense it should win this game at home. Bane Kiffin knows how disastrous this game would be for him to lose with the Wazzu loss still fresh in everyone’s mind. Along with the thought process from the Boise State game, I can be content with a Trojans loss but for this feature I’ll lay the points. USC will move the ball against the Aggies D.
Prediction: USC 31 Utah State 24 (1 unit/single play)
K.M: I told you all in the preseason USU was going to beat USC. That seemed a lot cooler when I thought USC would have the common ******* decency to not lose to Washington State while I was waiting to get to this game. USU is good. USC is not. USU has a new coach. USC has a coach that is the football version of Mr. Magoo, leaving carnage in his wake and going wherever the **** he pleases with impunity. That’s a good ass analogy. Admit it. Over the last few years I’ve had an uncanny knack for predicting a USC loss in a game that is around this pointspread and last year that included a big win for me on Stanford, and I see no reason not to continue this tradition of excellence this week and ride with my beloved Aggies for the max. BUT KM, WHY DO YOU PRIDE YOURSELF ON SOMETHING AS TRIVIAL AS PREDICTING A LOSS ON USC’S SCHEDULE AND WAGER SO MUCH ON IT? Don’t ask me to explain myself. Sometimes I don’t even understand me and all the bizarre gifts I have. I just do me. Deal with it.
Prediction: USU 34, USC 14 (3 UNITS/TRIPLE PLAY)
Bane Kiffin is the best
Michigan State (+6.5) at Notre Dame
K.M: Notre Dame needs to get to roughly 7 points to cover this spread against that abonimation to the great game of college football that is the Michigan State offense. Michigan State has historically given Notre Dame ****, and loves to do it in South Bend. But the Catholic Jarrett Lee, Tommy Rees, is going to be too much for the Michigan State defense to handle. Look for Tommy Rees to do some unimpressive **** and get a win thanks to opponent incompetence leading to Dr. Lou trading his Medicare issued medication for Heisman votes and leading to Tommy Rees locking up the NorthEast section of Heisman voting by week 4, a new record.
Prediction: Notre Dame 17, Michigan State 7 (1 unit/single play)
Bryan: Hat this game. Worst game on the slate for betting purposes by far. Could easily be 3-0 final given Michigan State’s offense and the fact the Irish are still trotting Tommy Rees out there. Just can’t get behind the Spartans offense against Notre Dame’s defense. Sparty’s best shot here is probably to get a defensive score or two and that’s never something I want to bank on in need of a cover. Irish have a bounce back performance after a lethargic game a week ago.
Prediction: Notre Dame 17 Michigan State 10 (1 unit/single play)
Hot Hook Up: Irish laying the points
Arizona State (+7.5) at Stanford
Bryan: Call me a sucker because I’m diving two feet into this trap. Stanford at home laying just 7.5 to a team who was gifted a win over a less talented Wisconsin team a week ago. Don’t see Arizona State running the ball well against Stanford’s front seven and I’ll still bet against Kelly delivering the goods for four quarters. On the flip side I like what I’ve seen from Hogan early in the year. After an ugly win over Army the Cardinal bounce back with a strong performance and cover this with room to spare.
Prediction: Stanford 35 Arizona State 17 (2 units/DOUBLE PLAY)
K.M: This line is such a ******* trap. The smarter and better team at home laying just over a TD to maybe the dumbest team in the Pac-12? What the hell is going on in Vegas? Sadly, I can’t help myself, I am all in on Stanford, and if they are the team I expect them to be, they need to overcome blatant trap lines and get the job done. I’m only going one unit because this game reeks, but seriously, Stanford should cover this with ease, you know it, I know it, the only question is does Vegas know otherwise? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT 7 PM EST ON FOX! Pay me, Murdock.
Prediction: Stanford 28, Arizona State 14 (1 unit/single play)
Hot Hook Up: Stanford laying the points (1 unit/single play)
Kansas State (+6) at Texas
K.M: OH GOD I GET TO BET AGAINST TEXAS? HOW MANY UNITS DO I HAVE LEFT? TWO? OK I BET BOTH.
Prediction: Kansas State 30, Texas 20 (2 units/DOUBLE PLAY)
Bryan: Now or never for Texas. I said in last week’s Sexy Six I didn’t care about what Texas did vs Ole Miss as long as they bring the goods in Big 12 play. Well that time is now. Kansas State is breaking in a new QB and hasn’t looked all that good in any game yet. DON’T DO ME WRONG AGAIN TEXAS! I’m -$220 for the year on you. MAKE ME SOME MONEY BACK! Get back in there David Ash. #HookEmTillIDie
Prediction: Texas 42 Kansas State 27 (1 unit/single play)