Originally posted on The Sports Headquarters  |  Last updated 9/16/13
Week three’s in the books. T.J Yeldon is serving notice that Johnny Football is dead and the Tide are back to defend their crown. THE CHAMP IS HERE INDEED. In the biggest game of the week we got a complete shootout and Bama went to College Station and revenged last year’s loss. As a result SPOILER: K.M and I will vote them #1 in the country as we have each week and as we will every week until they lose. Even then K.M might vote them #1 because he is a massive Alabama homer after taking up for them the last two years. Only chance is if his Louisville love overcomes his Bama love. But for now lets stop pretending that’s going to happen and do what it is we do best which is give you the top 15 in the country each week. To top it off we tell you WHY every week so there’s no confusion. When we’re wrong it’s usually just one of us like me with Texas this year. There’s a lot of asshole pollsters out there just dropping the ball week after week and we feel it is our duty to clean their mess up and give you a realistic look at how things are. If you’re STILL new to this and have been oblivious to this poll forever lets cover the basics again. K.M and I sit down, give a top 15 each. We give 15 points for a first place vote all the way down to one point for a 15th place vote. Then we put our point totals together and come up with a consensus top 15. We have a lot of ties usually because…well…two people polls can have a lot of similar opinions at times. We don’t overreact to losses all the time and we’re quick to give credit for wins. Most importantly we don’t buy the “resume’ is the say all be all” ******** you get from some. We watch football, we know with our eyes if a team is better than another. We even have biases, some of which makes it hard for us to ever accept a certain team is legit. You may not agree with everything we say, but you’ll probably be entertained and if you’re not a total noob, you may just learn a thing or two. Lets get to week three’s top 15: 1) Alabama Crimson Tide- 30 points (Bryan: 1st, K.M: 1st) Bryan: Despite the fact it only resulted in a seven point win that was a convincing performance for me. Lot of people talking about “O Alabama’s defense looks down this year.” There’s only one Johnny Football and unless CFB starts allowing trades and LSU acquires him I’m not worried. Alabama won’t play an offense that good again unless my national title game is correctly predicted and they see Oregon. The offense did what it had to do against an overmatched Aggies defense and allowed the Crimson Tide to build a big lead which though it got down to a single score a couple times never really felt that in danger. As I said last week, Alabama pretty much has a stranglehold on the #1 ranking in my poll unless they lose. They now possess the best win of any of the top teams in the country given it was on the road and still with my eyes are an impressive team. We know Saban won’t blow it against a nobody so they have a warm up against Colorado State to get prepared for Ole Miss at home. The Rebels are basically the only thing stopping Alabama from being 8-0 when LSU comes to town. I told you last week if Bama could go into College Station and win, they were going to take a huge step towards defending their title. Mission accomplished. Roll Tide Roll. Trending: Towards a lot more easier wins than Saturday K.M: You want to know why Texas A&M has a bad defense? It’s in large part because they have an awful defensive coordinator. He actually had the gameplan of making A.J. McCarron beat his team! What the **** was he thinking? “Hell, I am going to stop the run and give the best damn player in college football A.J. McCarron a license to kill my average at best defense at my own building! YOLO!”. What a ******* idiot. Do you think teams play A&M and say *******, let’s stop whoever their back is and let Johnny Swagball do whatever he wants?”. No. So why do that with a player who towers over Manziel? I don’t even get it. Alabama crushed A&M, don’t let the final score fool you. McCarron dissected them on his way to the Heisman. It took like three absolute garbage plays and a hell of a job by that Coley sized WR they got to even make it interesting late, but Alabama let the world know it was 2 steps above. And Alabama and McCarron will only be more dominant moving forward. HEY MY MAIN MAN HARVEY UPDIKE, WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY TO JOHNNY PUNK NOW? T-2) Stanford Cardinal- 26 points (K.M: 2nd, Bryan: 4th) K.M: Yea whatever they won, I’m happy. I’m happy they didn’t perform going into the Arizona State game. That line is LOW. I intend to bet it large. Love the team coming off the bad game against the team coming off the good game. Look at the Niners/Shehawks game. See what I mean? Except in this one, the better team is the one coming off the bad game. So even better. I do want to see Stanford step it up and AT WORST play about a half of Stanford quality football. They are a slow starting team over the last few years, getting more impressive as the season goes on and their giant ass brains fill up with video film knowledge and football passing calculus and whatever the **** those smart kids study, but if they don’t show me a bit of the Stanford team I expect to see for the Oregon game, I’m going to drop them in the poll until they do. I still have full faith this team beats Oregon, but results and the eye test matter, and I want to see with my own eyes what I know this team can do. STEP IT UP TREES YOU ARE ON NOTICE. Trending: Right here, they will answer my challenge like the true champions of Western Football and smarts that they are Bryan: Not all that impressive given it was Army but I feel good about this team as a top five team still. In fact I think they were looking ahead to the Sun Devils and slept walk through the better portion of that game. The offense seems fine and the defense we know has very few problems. Stanford is just never going to wow people because even though they’re more Alabama-like than anyone in the top five-ten relative to style of play, you simply can’t impress people without dominating titles. If Stanford was winning the PAC-12 every year they’d get more love for their style of play. There’s no need for me to waste a ton of time on the Cardinal this week because we’ll have plenty more on them in the coming weeks. From here on out they literally have about two games you can say they won’t face somewhat of a challenge in. Time to show everyone you’re still a power Stanford. You know K.M and I got your back. P.S: Stanford was the sole reason Coley didn’t hit $200 on a teaser. Good **** Stanford. One sure-fire way to gain my admiration is ******* over Coley. Trending: Pretty much a steady top five team barring a loss. Will have chances to jump Ohio State given schedules. T-2) Oregon Ducks- 26 points (Bryan: 2nd, K.M: 4th) Bryan: I told you all last week this was coming pretty soon. Week one didn’t count because it was an FCS team. Last week I said Ohio State played well enough despite Oregon looking great. Well the Ducks were phenomenal again today kicking the **** out of Tennessee who may wind up being terrible but thus far seemed like a respectable team. The Ducks could’ve probably scored about 75 if they wanted to and put this game to rest in the second quarter. I should’ve pulled the trigger on Mariota for Heisman, not even that he’ll win it but Braxton Miller is probably close to done in that race barring a massive final nine games when he’s back. Offense is clicking basically on all cylinders, defense is still solid and the schedule is light as hell. I’ll say again this is probably the best Ducks team they’ve had in some time, better than last year, better than the national runner ups in 2010, you name it. If they let me down again this year I may just blackball them going forward because this team should be one road win at Stanford from a 13-0 PAC-12 title season. Trending: Ohio State would have to do some impressive things to jump Oregon. Once I commit to the Ducks, they’re pretty tough to come off of. K.M: You beat the ghosts of Tennessee nice job bros. This is the same story every year Oregon doesn’t **** up and play LSU early. Oregon dominates lesser teams in a way few other teams can dream of. Neat. Doesn’t mean a damn thing. I’ve typed the same **** into this exact spot at least 30 times in my life. It gets old. We’ll know what Oregon really is the second they play a really good team. Until then, they are just a team with a system that crushes any piece of **** team that comes their way into mud. So hey, that’s fun I guess, but doesn’t mean it gives you ANY useful information to talk about. Oregon is Oregon. Nothing more really needs to be said on this regard. I’m not even really willing to promise you that Mariota is a superstar yet until he does what he does against competition that has the slightest prayer of stopping him and the Ducks offense. So let’s wait. Trending: Down after LSU beats Georgia. Chip doesn’t care about my Oregon love T-2 Ohio State Buckeyes- 26 points (K.M: 3rd, Bryan: 3rd) K.M: Ohio State is really damn good, and last week they did some decent ****. And given how bad the Big Ten looks, it’s not like they will be asked to do a hell of a lot more if they want to go undefeated. This team should not lose a game. But it will. Urb is the man and has built this program into a juggernaught that his cupcake schedule has nothing for, but ****, that’s not the same as hanging with Alabama. You don’t just walk into a place in two years and make an Alabama level team or a Stanford level team. It takes at least 4 years to get all your studs in. Ohio State will continue to outclass everyone they play, and that will make their loss so much sadder for their fans, who honestly need a bit of sadness in their life right now. Like Bryan said, we had your back before the masses did, but now that all these dopes are getting on the OSU bus, it’s looking less and less appealing. Trending: Here-ish until they lose. Bryan: Going on the road with your backup and beating a BCS opponent on the West Coast is TOUGH to knock. I mean all things considered while Ohio State wasn’t necessarily on upset alert, I could’ve understood if they didn’t bring their A-game. However it was the defense that left me unimpressed and willing to finally drop Ohio State below Oregon. The Buckeyes get a couple opportunities upcoming to make a mark on me and then it’s really just a whole bunch of disappointing games that can’t possibly do much to persuade me. Reality is the Buckeyes are probably lucky the SSR has no bearing on the BCS title chase because I just can’t in good faith see me thinking in two months Ohio State is a worthy national title team with this schedule. K.M and I were huge backers of you a year ago because you delivered on our preseason top 10 ranking when many didn’t have you that high. Now that everyone is on your back and we don’t gain any bragging rights by having you so high, it diminishes my need to defend your weak sked. Trending: Smell that? Think I smell a loss coming in one of the two Big Ten openers T-5) LSU Tigers- 20 points (Bryan: 7th, K.M: 5th) Bryan: If you listen really quietly you can probably hear the thudding of footsteps coming up on Alabama in the form of LSU just waiting for a shot at the champs. LSU won with a solid showing in week one vs TCU and then hammered two teams you would expect them to hammer. The offense has been crisp and productive through three games and the running backs have proven to be deep again. It’s almost bordering on ridiculous what this team has to encounter relative to A&M and Bama but those are the breaks. Right now they look to be legit and while I’m still a little lower on them than K.M is, I have to acknowledge the level of play they’ve been putting out. This team is going to be real interesting to watch over the next month. One way or another they should have the best chance to crack that top four I’ve been content with most of the offseason. Trending: Win in Athens in two weeks (and of course don’t blow it vs Auburn this week) and you’ll be top three-five K.M: LSU is bar none the story of the next month of college football. At Georgia, Florida, and at Ole Miss should be three really fun games (Florida is only fun because Florida will probably be at the “salvage the season by laying out all the stops to beat LSU” junction of their disaster.) Few people would have predicted LSU would be undefeated when they walked into Bryant-Denny on November 9th for the real game of the year. Actually, probably just me. I predicted that. And now it’s going to happen if they get by Georgia, and Georgia looks ripe for LSU right now. Once LSU wins that game, I will rank them between 2-4, and it’s gonna be 2011 all over again, except I’ll be pimping the other side this time because ROLL DAMN TIDE Y’ALL. Trending: UP UP AND AWAY Southern Belles T-5) Clemson Tigers (K.M: 7th, Bryan: 5th)  K.M: More I think about Clemson the more I like them. I know they are going to do something really ******* stupid at some point. But I don’t think NC State is going to be that point. This isn’t an upset-caliber NC State team. They needed to make a 48 yard kick to beat ******* Richmond. That **** is weak. NC State will cover though, because that line is really damn big for road Clemson. That’s about all you will get from me off a bye. Trending: Here or so. Bryan: Off week. Like I said last week, just handle business and we’ll be fine. Everyone is overreacting to this game Thursday night. We’re going to beat the ever living dog **** out of NC State. I’m going to tell you a little story America about why Bryan Doherty hates NC State. A nice young lady who shall rename nameless because she is a nice person was a massive Wolfpack fan when said young lady attended Clemson. Two years ago when Clemson coughed all over their shoes in Raleigh, this particular individual had the nerve to wear Red AND Orange to the game. Now that’s simply not acceptable. You see I sat in Littlejohn Coliseum IN AN ARIZONA JERSEY last year because I am an Arizona basketball fan. Did it hurt to disrespect Clemson? Sure, I didn’t want to offend the great Tigers people but you gotta do what you gotta do. WEARING BOTH TEAMS COLORS IS NOT OK. Then you add in the non-stop Wolfpack love and well it got to be too much. So I decided at that point I disliked NC State, NOT THE INDIVIDUAL, just the school. To this day I live with that hate. As one of the sports world’s greatest haters, it was simply just another opportunity to grow my hate. So come Thursday when we tear NC State’s head off I want you all to remember one lesson: NEVER wear two teams’ colors to the same game. You make your decision and you HONOR that decision. Class dismissed. Trending: As I said before probably five-seven for a while. Lets get to the Florida State game and you’ll have a chance to move up then. K.M. Note: He kinda did give up he is dead after all 7) South Carolina Gamecocks- 18 points (Bryan: 8th, K.M: 6th) Bryan: South Carolina toyed around too much in the second half of a game that never should have gotten as close as it did but at the end of the day responded with a win after a tough loss in Athens. We talked about the toughness of that loss to Sakerlina last week but the Gamecocks can keep themselves in the hunt for a while by winning and getting by Vandy was a pretty good first step as that was likely the toughest SEC game the Gamecocks had left besides Florida. The offense continues to look pretty good and honestly as solid as the defense was in week one I’m still waiting on that dominant defensive performance we’ve come to expect for Spurrier’s crew. A loss at Georgia given where I have the Bulldogs simply won’t hurt you much so despite a loss I still feel pretty strongly about this team and its place inside the top ten. However its lack of elite caliber opponents means really it’s tough for South Carolina to move up to much in the coming month or so. Trending: Likely will stay outside the top five for a bit unless there’s a huge run of losses by top five teams K.M: South Carolina kicked Vandy’s ass, then dicked around and let my friend get a middle on that game, so pretty much South Carolina played a fantastic game as far as I’m concerned, they showed dominance, then did dumb **** and let my friend make that money, but still won. So I say good job and put you up to 6th overall on the basis of I can do whatever I want and I still think this team has top 3 talent so it’s not like this is a stretch in the least. South Carolina going to just chill out and get some W’s with absolute ease until the Clemson game, Vandy was the toughest team left on their schedule and they got up 28 on them ***** ass nerds. Yes, Vandy is better than Florida. Suck it, Gators. Trending: The Gators can eat a dick also South Carolina probably heading up I mean hell they won’t lose for months if at all 8) Louisville Cardinals- 13 points (K.M: 8th, Bryan: 11th) K.M: Probably didn’t deserve to cover, Bridgewater lost any Heisman hopes he had, but Louisville did enough in a rivalry game, albeit about as lame a rivalry game as college football has that involves two teams that some would consider BCS (depending on if you count Kentucky as SEC football and count the AAC as a thing that exists).  Now you get to go back to pounding teams that are less talented then Kentucky. Good for you, Louisville. Have fun with it. Trending: Not my fault they play nobody leave me alone. Bryan: You covered the 13.5 which was going to be a massive ripping if you didn’t so at least you had that going for you. I saw the second half of this game and call me a hater but I simply did not come away all that impressed. Teddy was solid and made a number of great throws but I just don’t see elite team when I look at you and really am just WAITING for one of these teams below you to add a high quality win to their resume’ so I can jump them over you. The AAC continues to be a joke with about two opponents even worth taking a look at. You probably have the biggest burden of proof each week with me because anything less than blowouts of these pathetic teams and I feel I have no choice but to slam you. Luckily K.M is in your corner so I doubt you’ll ever fall too far out of the SSR’s good graces with him representing 50% of your point total each week. Trending: Just lose so I can be done with you T-9) Miami Hurricanes- 11 points (Bryan: 10th, K.M: 11th) Bryan: Bye week as well coming off the Florida game. So help me God if you lose before the Miami-UNC game we’re taking in. Georgia Tech at home is all that stands between you and that eventful game in Chapel Hill given how bad your next two opponents are. While I’m still more of the opinion the Gators choked that game away, reality is you showed me quite a bit that night. I’m looking forward to seeing what you can do in the next month or so against teams you should beat if you’re the quality team I think you are. I would go on but I’m kinda getting tired of talking about teams on byes. Trending: Don’t lose to garbage or I’ll boot you in a nano-second. K.M: Miami does not lose to the triple option. You cannot recruit your team out of the athletic slums of Miami-Dade and lose to a team that runs the triple option. You can be an absolute rockhead and make EVERY wrong key and EVERY wrong read on the triple option, when you are as athletic as Miami is you just run over whoever is blocking you and go make the tackle anyway. So Miami will be undefeated at Chapel Hill. That will be fun. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO C-A-N-E-S CANES Trending; Florida State is going to murder this team. T-9) Georgia Bulldogs- 11 points (K.M: 15th, Bryan: 6th) K.M: ARP ARP ARP ARP ARP I only ranked this team because I didn’t feel like ranking UCLA. They are going to lose at home to LSU in two weeks then nobody will rank them. Trending: ARP ARP ARP ARP ARP Bryan: Another bye team! No idea how in the **** K.M has 14 teams ranked ahead of a team who beat South Carolina and only lost to Clemson but hell this is why our poll isn’t predictable every week because not even we know what we’re going to do. The Bulldogs know what’s at stake. There’s not many landmines left to dodge and if the Bulldogs can beat LSU at home in two weeks it makes it nearly impossible to foresee them losing out to South Carolina in the East. At that point it would pretty much be “beat Florida to win the division” in all probability. Gurley’s name should be getting closer and closer to the top three or so of the Heisman talk. Don’t let a shortened dominant performance at Clemson factor into it too much. Trending: We’ll kn0w a LOT about what you are after LSU game. I like you right here for a bit but a win over LSU and I honestly have to consider moving you up. T-11) Texas A&M Aggies- 9 points (Bryan: 9th, K.M: 14th) Bryan: On one hand I feel like you could drop A&M lower because that wasn’t really a “one-score loss”. Alabama was in complete control of that game for most of the final three quarters and was the better team clearly. How about Johnny Football though? Talk about balling out even when a team with the best coach in the nation spent an entire offseason preparing for you and ONLY you. Texas A&M’s defense should feel sick when they go into film this week and watch the highlights of this game. You score 42 points on Alabama and lose you sure as hell have some explaining to do. Aggies are in a world of hurt right now in terms of getting back into SEC West title chase. Basically need to beat LSU, get an LSU win over Bama and pray like hell for a favorable spot in BCS standings. That’s the most realistic scenario. Trending: Toward more Jonny Football off the field storylines. K.M: Johnny Manziel played the game of his life AND got really lucky that he didn’t have 4 picks AND both his highlight plays were just lucky as ****, and still they couldn’t hang at home with Alabama. If your DC is so damn dumb he lets the best player on the other team do whatever they want, then I don’t know how this team is going to win in Oxford in 3 weeks. A&M better check themselves, right now I say Ole Miss is the better team. Trending: Ranked until the Ole Miss game. T-11) Oklahoma Sooners- 9 points (K.M: 9th, Bryan: 14th) K.M: I saw the boxscore and the Belldozer played and I yawned but I guess that’s cool and I can’t really remember why I have Oklahoma this high but **** it we here already let’s just go with it. TRENDING: BOOMER. Please don’t lose to this sad ass Irish team. Bryan: The Belldozer came in and made an impressive impact against Tulsa showing that maybe, JUST MAYBE Oklahoma’s offense won’t be dull all season. Pretty empty slate thus far and this ranking from me is basically all just eye test at this point. Don’t see a top 10 team with my eyes but their blowouts of UL-Monroe and Tulsa are enough for me to look past a less than stellar outing against West Virginia. Notre Dame and the rest of the Big 12 schedule remains including Notre Dame, TCU and Texas in the next three. As I said about LSU earlier, the Sooners will be moving in the next three-four weeks quite a bit because every game will be a chance to impress or blow it. We’ll see if they’re up to the task. Trending: I just told you. Pay attention. 13) Oklahoma State Cowboys- 8 points (Bryan: 12th, K.M: 12th) Bryan: Blow out of Lamar. K.M still probably doesn’t give two ***** about this team and that’s fine, only so much love that can go around between Bama, Stanford and his Louisville Cardinals. Pokes did what they had to do in the non-conference slate to position themselves nicely for a BCS run. TCU looks to be fading and Texas doesn’t appear ready to overcome the early season struggles. It appears the two Oklahoma schools are the favorites going into conference play and we’ll see if the Pokes offense can carry them over the next few months. Trending: I’m assuming up. Favorable early Big 12 schedule. Gets tougher later in the year. K.M: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Trending: That is internet for this team makes me sleep. 14) Florida State Seminoles- 7 points (K.M: 10th, Bryan: 15th) K.M: Cheeseball is so damn good. Nice job by him turning that slow start into a total beatdown. If you are going to take a half off, play the next half double time. That’s what I’ve always said. Trending: I’ve never ******* said that before in my life Bryan: Stop the chop! Two lopsided wins over two mediocre teams. Had them 18th or so coming into the year. Can’t expect them to move up much given what has happened thus far but some teams fall and poof, you move up. That’s the type of analysis you get when you get down to #14 in the poll. Trending: Waiting on Clemson game T-15) Ole Miss Rebels- 3 points (Bryan: N/R, K.M: 13th) Bryan: Knocking on the door of my top 15. They got Bama, LSU and A&M upcoming. Even if you think I’m not being fair right now, lets not act like they don’t have a chance soon to get in. Trending: Have a chance soon to get in for good. K.M: TEXAS GOT A VISIT FROM DR. BO Trending: Doctor doctor, gimmie the news, I got a bad case of irrational love for Ole Miss T-15) Northwestern Wildcats- 3 points (K.M: N/R, Bryan: 13th) K.M: I got you like 17 I think. Actually I got you 18. I got none ranked 16. But solid team. Bryan has a nice call going on them. Trending: Has a chance to crack the top 15 for me, no doubt. Bryan: Will be 4-0 when Ohio State comes to town. Seems like a legit team this year. Gotta feel good about them going into Big Ten play. We’ll see if the schedule is too much for them. Trending: We’ll talk after Buckeyes game. Bryan’s Next Five: Ole Miss- 3-0 with wins over Vandy and Texas. Texas kinda sucks apparently. Will be a 15-20 team most of year I think Florida- Haven’t forgotten about you. Handle a rivalry game vs Tennessee and get back on track please Michigan- Yea, should’ve stuck with my gut and not put you in top 15 last week. A loss to Akron would’ve been SWEET UCLA- Nice showing at Nebraska and a thanks for the cover and Hot Hook Up cover. You’ve earned my respect WOOOOOOOO PIG SOOOIIEEEE- Not really but we’re gonna start losing soon so I’ll enjoy it while it lasts K.M Venne’s Next Five: NONE – hell I didn’t even really want to rank UGA this week I just did because it’s one less character then none when I tweet Bryan my top 15 UCLA – Solid second half, just like FSU, but FSU is better Northwestern – Good team Michigan – I didn’t rank you last week, and now you beat Arkon and made a fool out of me. Wait, you made a fool out of yourselves. Never mind. Texas – Troll so hard
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