Originally written on Blog So Hard Sports  |  Last updated 11/18/14

THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER   The NHL playoffs-done. NBA rigged! Now it’s just Major League Baseball and NASCAR, which has its next 8 races at Pocono Speedway or at tracks where they have to turn left and right. What the hell is that about? I know what you’re thinking, maybe I should start working out more, or maybe I should read that Fifty Shades of Grey book that everyone’s been talking about? I know this is my first contribution to BlogSoHard, but please take my advice, working out is for professional weirdo’s and “50 shades” is popular only in that “I haven’t found internet porn yet” crowd. Luckily we in the nation’s capital and surrounding areas don’t have to suffer this summer, and luckily for me, my fridge is stocked to the brim with ice cold brew ha-ha-has. Follow BlogSoHard as we show you all the sporting events that you need to hit this summer right in your very own back yard.   AT&T National June 27th-30th   Congressional Country Club, Bethesda, Maryland   Tiger is out, but that just leaves more questionable women for you Blog So Hard readers to prey on. Big names are still there though, including Adam Scott, Jim Furyk, Rickie Fowler, Angel Cabrera, Jason Day, K. J. Choi, Brandt Snedeker, and Hunter Mahan. Congressional Country Club is beautiful and since its open to the public this weekend, it’ll probably be the only time your freaks can get in. Me personally, since I’m a country bumpkin, I’m going to lather myself with this deer spray I got recently from Cabela’s and walk around with Vijay Singh all weekend. Vijay goes out at 7:16 on Thursday, so I’m a hair late for the party. http://www.pgatour.com/tournaments/at-t-national.html   WWE RAW July 8th   1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland What more do I have to say?  It’s RAW time. Now that we know that Jack Swagger won’t be going to jail (for partying-so-hard), will he and Zeb Colter be attending?  The immigration debate in Washington is about to be in full swing. The analysis of Colter is exactly what we need! Colter/Clinton 2016!!!!?????? http://www.wwe.com/events/wwepresents-raw-baltimore   Baltimore Charm vs. Cleveland Crush July 12th   1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland Now you can ask anybody that knows me, I hate a couple of professional sports teams with a passion. The Yankees, Cowboys, and of course my arch-nemesis, the she-devils, the Cleveland Crush. Outside Linebacker Darcy Thompson I do not hate you though. If you have not been to a Charm game yet, shame on you! I mean the Charm’s quarterback’s last name is Rypien for Christ sake! It might be blasphemy in Baltimore, but this is the best team in the city.  I just got my Charm Wide Receiver Alley Dickey jersey/bra and will be in the front row of this one yelling “Let’s go Dickey” for however long it takes. http://www.lflus.com/baltimorecharm   CONCACAF Gold Cup 2013 Quarterfinals July 21st   M&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore, Maryland The jewel of the summer if you ask me. The United States first plays Cuba and then Costa Rica. If we somehow get to the Quarters, play Martinique in the Quarters, I like our chances in the Quarters. Question here is how many airplane bottles can I fit into my cowboy boots and how can Klinsmann not play to our strengths?   DeMarcus Beasley it was good seeing you again! http://www.goldcup.org/page/Splash   LPGA International Crown July 21st-27th   Caves Valley, Owings Mill, Maryland Now this is where it gets tricky and definitely where those left over airplane bottles from the previous event will come in handy. The first annual International Crown should be somewhat….. something….. to see. Eight countries will be battling for the first-ever crown. If I make it to the back nine, a) it means that Paula Creamer is playing b) I haven’t been thrown out yet, or c) the event is awesome and I’m just an asshole.  Either way I get to go somewhere and shout U.S.A, U.S.A!  And yes South Korean team I will be yelling that in the middle of your back swings all day. http://www.lpga.com/golf/tournaments/lpga/international-crown.aspx   Chincoteague Pony Swim July 24th   Chincoteague Island, Virginia There is just something about horses racing in water that gets me pumped. God I hope one of the horses is named Earnhardt.  If for nothing else, this event is right on Hump Day.  You can tell your boss “it’s a Virginia tradition that can’t be missed,” and somehow would not be lying. Get your kayak out, go to the beach, and bet on some horses.  This isn’t brain surgery. http://www.chincoteague.com/pony_swim_guide.html   Citi Open Tennis July 27th-August 4th  Washington, D.C ESPN and the whole sporting world doesn’t do tennis justice with its coverage. Tennis, on the men’s and women’s sides is absolutely incredible right now-more on that in later blogs. Both sides come to D.C in a U.S Open primer and I can’t wait. Serena, Maria, and Victoria are out. Rafa, Roger, Andy, and Novak are also out of this one.  Who cares when you’ve got Gael Monfils, Sloane Stephens, J.W. Tsonga, and Mardy Fish coming to town! Brush up on your obscenities in other languages. It’s obviously very classy to call these Eastern European tennis players, dirty ******* communist ass-clowns in their own language. Also when you are being escorted out by the Citi Open security staff you can really let them have it without getting too much pepper spray in the eyes. http://www.citiopentennis.com/   Shenandoah Speedway August 10th  Shenandoah, Virginia There is not going to be any Matt Kenseth’s or Jimmie Johnson’s at this race, no big sponsors, or three hour pre-race festivities. Nope you’re likely to be cheering for a guy name Skeeter, who is sponsored by his own lawn care business, while driving a 1992 Chevy Lumina that has 3 different colors of rust on it. And you will be extremely drunk.  Exactly what racing should be. http://shenandoah-speedway.com/drupal/   The Great Bull Run August 24th  Petersburg, Virginia If you have nothing to do on August 24th and you do not go down to Petersburg, VA, then you sir/mam are a complete moron in every sense of the word.  Running with the Bulls? A tomato fight? Beer? Medical Marijuana? Live music? Seriously as a world class hillbilly I’ve never been more excited about an event in my life.  I’ve been practicing with local cows around the valley and have taken to going to local farmers markets and testing out my aim at the unsuspecting hippies. If George W. Bush was standing on an Air Craft carrier telling me this is why we invaded Iraq, I’d be screaming four more years, four more years. We might be stealing this from Spain, but I know this is going to be 100% American fun. http://www.thegreatbullrun.com/events/virginia-2013/   Salt-n-Pepa August 31st   The Howard Theater, Washington, D.C Ah, push it, ah, push it Ooh, baby, baby, baby, baby Ooh, baby, baby, baby, baby Salt-n-Pepa’s here Salt-n-Pepa’s here http://thehowardtheatre.com/   Grand Prix of Baltimore September 1st   The Streets To end your summer of sports bliss we go right to the mean streets of Baltimore. The Indy Racing League is back for a cruise through downtown Baltimore. It really makes you question the 25 mph speed limit that we have to abide by all year when some guy from San Paulo, Brazil can come in and go 200 mph on the same streets. If you’ve ever gotten a speeding ticket in the City of Baltimore come on down and watch hypocrisy at work. American style. I’m just hoping to hear something like this from one of the race announcers. “Alex Tagliani and Sebastian Bourdais tangle, one’s in the air, one just wrecked into a Hip Hop Fish and Chicken restaurant.” I think that would make my summer just about perfect. http://www.grandprixofbaltimore.com/   No related posts.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Van Gundy rips Bulls management about Thibs

Harbaugh lands first commitment at Michigan

NFL warns Seahawks about 'obscene gestures'

Lane Kiffin will remain with Alabama in 2015

Belichick: Patriots followed 'every rule' prepping footballs

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Colts LB Andrew Jackson arrested on DUI charge

Sam Shields: Dez Bryant catch should have counted

Klay Thompson sets NBA record with 37 pts in a quarter

Hall of Famer Ernie Banks passes away

Michigan St trustee member trolls Michigan in tweet

Marlins, Ichiro Suzuki agree to one-year, $2M deal

Leonard Fournette's brother commits to LSU

Bledsoe not happy about other QBs trashing Brady

Red Sox P Joe Kelly predicts he will win Cy Young Award

WATCH: Bill Belichick drops 'My Cousin Vinny' reference

USC sends recruit personalized business cards

Coastal Carolina planning to install teal-colored field

The five most significant Super Bowls of all time

WATCH: J.R. Smith, LeBron half-court alley oop

Sesame Street makes "inflate" the word of the day

Former Panthers GM questions if Patriots cheated in Super Bowl

Oscar De La Hoya to launch cable channel

Ten players to watch in the 2015 Senior Bowl

Golf News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Harbaugh lands first commitment

Seahawks GM: I love Lynch's act

Lane Kiffin staying with Alabama

Belichick goes 'My Cousin Vinny'

Belichick: Patriots followed 'every rule'

Could Patriots have used a sauna?

Klay Thompson scores 37 pts in a quarter

Hall of Famer Ernie Banks passes away

Sesame Street makes "inflate" the word of the day

Which NBA player should get next on a signature shoe deal?

NFL's Deflategate statement doesn't say much

Who's the next coach to 1,000 wins?

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.