11) Five thousand remarkably annoying words from Bill Simmons10) That early season slump really isn't going to be the worst part of his year9) No one's buying the "Miracle Eyedrops" story now8) America's love affair with the Tampa Rays just got even more serious7) Red Sox Fan has to open a whole new can of rationalizations6) Twins Fan is, for the first time in years, not regretting the decision to release him5) Red Sox Fan is less inclined to give Ortiz standing ovations...