Originally written on Metstradamus  |  Last updated 11/16/14
The funniest part of Sunday's game was before the game when Andrew Brown told Kevin Burkhardt that while most hitters love the dry air and the high altitudes of Las Vegas and the rest of the PCL, Brown hated Vegas because their fans aren't real baseball fans, and they just come to heckle the home team after a night of gambling (losing) and carousing. Oh, the fun times that produced. But then, in a moment that would make Alanis Morrisette's dark heart quiver ... Andrew Brown shaking hands with people and leaving. No announcement yet. #mets — Mike Kerwick (@mikekerwick) May 13, 2013 We all know what that means. It means he's going back to Vegas to deal with the hecklers. Poor Andrew Brown ... not even 24 hours after he torches Vegas, back he goes! He thought the heckling was bad before? Oh man. [youtube]3AL2_OWwmYM[/youtube] But why was Brown leaving? Who was coming? Mets sign Rick Ankiel, and he is starting in CF.say.ly/lCk5Oya — Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) May 13, 2013 What? Ankiel? We're signing Astros castoffs now? Tony Eusebio wasn't available? The funniest part of this, besides the fact that the signing was announced just three hours or so before game time and already he was starting in center field as if he was Ultimate Warrior waiting to save Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 8, was Terry Collins trying to rationalize the move: "Maybe a change of scenery right now is good for him to get him going." Also: Terry Collins on Rick Ankiel, alluding to time with #Nats: "We can't get him out." #mets — Adam Rubin (@AdamRubinESPN) May 13, 2013 Okay first off, this is Ankiel's sixth team in five years. He's changed sceneries more than a wedding planner working for Bridezilla. That's not the problem. Second, the Mets couldn't get him out when he was with the Nationals because they couldn't get anybody out. So, not the best barometer there, Terry. Ankiel played for the Nats in 2011 and 2012. In 2012 he went 0 for 5 against the Mets but in 2011 he had 62 plate appearances for the Nats against New York and hit  .304 ... a season in which he hit .239 overall. This same season, the Mets were 13th in the N.L. in ERA, and 15th in total hits given up. So I'm pretty sure that the Mets in 2011 couldn't get me out, which would have led to Sandy Alderson signing me to play the outfield. So it's flawed logic and coach speak from the manager. And we see right through it. But thanks for playing. Oh, and Ankiel has no shoes or equipment. Borrowing everything tonight. #Mets — Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) May 13, 2013 Terrific. But hey, it's only for one game until UPS gets their act together, right? What could possibly go wrong? After borrowing and then feeling uncomfortable using Scott Rice's glove while shagging pregame, Ankiel instead borrowed a glove from Jonathon Niese. The normally solid defensive center fielder then dropped Ty Wigginton's sinking liner in the seventh inning while lunging forward. The shot, which popped out of the borrowed glove, was ruled a double. Wigginton eventually scored the tiebreaking run on an odd play as the Mets lost Ankiel's debut, 6-3 to the St. Louis Cardinals on Monday night at Busch Stadium. Oh, using a pitcher's glove for lack of a better option. I hate when that happens. "All my stuff got stuck in Houston," Ankiel said. "I don't know what happened with the mail there or whatever, but we're on a borrow program tonight. Hopefully whatever stuff I borrow has some hits in it." Well there were no hits for you, but the stuff sure as hell had a hit for Ty Wigginton, didn't it. Let's face it, Ankiel has one job here ... and that's to play defense. Make spectacular catches and gun down runners at a moment's notice. Because the man can't hit. This makes Ankiel the lefty Jeff Francoeur ... Jeff Frankiel, if you will. He took the number 16 because he loved Doc Gooden. And he seems to want to match Doc's 276 strikeouts from 1984 for the rest of the season (the count is at two after Monday's game). But if that's the case with Ankiel, then why couldn't they just let Lagares play every day? He's the same type of player that Ankiel provides no significant upgrade from. Full disclosure: When Angel Pagan fell apart in 2011 and it was apparent that he had to go, I thought Ankiel was an acceptable option. But with Lagares here, and Matt den Dekker on the way, and Ankiel getting worse by the year, he is a redundant roster filler who somehow let his equipment get stuck in Houston helping the Mets to lose a game. Must not have been room in his carry on bag for his mitt with all the suntan lotion he has. He should share some with Andrew Brown for his trip back to Vegas.
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