Originally posted on It's Always Sunny in Detroit  |  Last updated 1/6/12

A decade ago, Yankees third baseman, then Rangers shortstop Alex Rodriguez was coming off a season in which he hit .318, 52 home runs and knocked in 135 runs. He scored 133 runs and collected 201 hits. He also stole 18 bases. The next season (2002), he'd mash 57 bombs and knock in 142 runs.

Today, Rodriguez has seen his numbers remain strong, but nowhere near as strong as they were before the steroid admissions and women controversies. Nowadays, the story surrounding ARod who is dating, not how many home runs he's going to hit.

His list of women has reached a point where he could start his own softball team. And to take the pressure off him, you know how he folds under pressure, we have set his starting lineup for him.

Batting 1st in CF - Cameron Diaz - She's feisty on the bases and covers ground in the men field. She's a five tool player.

Batting 2nd in LF - Bethany Frankel - She's underrated, but passed her prime. She can't run like she used to, but we like her experience and she could definitely move my runner over.

Batting 3rd at SS - Kate Hudson - She's the best all around talent and no-doubt rock of this team.

Batting 4th at 1B - Torrie Wilson - ARod's current dame - she's a solid power hitter which she learned from her diva role in the World Wrestling Entertainment.

Batting 5th at 3B - Elaine Spottswood - She's playing third because, well, we wouldn't mind getting to third base with her.

Batting 6th and catching - Melissa Britos - Catcher is one of the most important positions on the field and Melissa is very important (looking) to this lineup.

Batting 7th in RF - Cynthia Scurtis (Rodriguez) - The ex-wife is playing whether ARod likes it or not. Her arm(s) make her the perfect right fielder. Check out those guns.

Batting 8th at 2B - Maritza Franco - She's the weakest link in the infield and is a candidate to be replaced by the next up-and-coming prospect. And with the way ARod is going could be any month now.

Batting 9th and pitching - Alicia Marie - She definitely looks conditioned to "go" every fifth day, but I'd bet she could go more frequently if called upon.

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