Originally written on Monkey with a Halo  |  Last updated 10/30/14
This is the big one. The season ender. No longer are we ranking the recent past. With the season now complete, we are going to take a walk, a painful walk, down memory lane to rank every player that donned an Angel uniform by their entire 2013 performance. We've got 49 players to cover here, so you might want to move your schedule around a bit. RANK PLAYER COMMENTS 1 Mike Trout - He is the best player in baseball, no need to fancy it up. 2 C.J. Wilson - The runaway pitcher of the year for the Angels and really one of the few things that went right in the rotation. He even toned down the doucheness this year, which is nice. 3 Jered Weaver - No matter how he hard he throws, Weaver showed he can still get it done. If only he hadn't broken his elbow in that freak fall, the team's season could've had an entirely different complexion. 4 Howie Kendrick - The batting title talk didn't last long, but he did hit .300 for the first time since 2008. Maybe he'll have better luck on the batting title front after his inevitable trade comes to fruition. 5 Garrett Richards - He oddly never clicked as a reliever which turned out to be a blessing in disguise as he finally fit into the rotation in the second half and looks like he is finally there to stay. 6 Jason Vargas - Vargas did everything that was expected of him except give them 200 innings due to a freak blood clot problem. It now becomes a question of affordability regarding whether or not he returns. 7 Mark Trumbo - After another strong start to the season, Trumbo cratered. I kept waiting for him to snap out of it, but he never did. I'm still willing to wait, but my patience is very, very thin. 8 Dane De La Rosa - Just imagine how bad the bullpen would have been had Dipoto not plucked Dane out of obscurity. He may not have the elite stuff to take on a bigger role, but at least the Angels have one cheap relief arm they can count on next season. 9 Josh Hamilton - This is surprisingly high, but Hamilton had a good, but not great, second half to partially salvage an otherwise disastrous season and inspire a modest amount of hope for him in 2014. 10 Ernesto Frieri - A closer all season really because of a lack of options. While the streaks of utter dominance were still there, there were also too many stretches of disaster after disaster. And the homers, oh so many homers. 11 Erick Aybar - Aybar took a big step back, perhaps so far back that the team reconsiders trading Kendrick and moves Aybar instead. 12 Albert Pujols - it was literally painful to watch Pujols play this season with his bad feet and knees. It is even more painful to think that he might never be able to get healthy and approach the levels of production that the Angels signed him to provide. 13 Scott Downs - I'd personally like to thank Downs for not getting hurt before the Angels could trade him. 14 J.B. Shuck - I've given Shuck a lot of grief this season, but he performed to his fullest capability and was a real stroke of luck for an Angel organization that had absolutely no depth with which to absorb the various injuries Shuck helped cover up. 15 Kole Calhoun - A revelation after he finally got promoted, he might have even made some fan favorite hitters expendable with his play. Long live the Ginger Fire Hydrant! 16 Peter Bourjos - I didn't discover this until this season, but it turns out that Bourjos is French for "made of glass." That's a real shame because when healthy, Speedy Petey was quite productive. 17 Chris Iannetta - He was rightfully maligned for his horrid defense, but he also gets almost on credit for a sneakily productive offensive season with his .358 OBP and .330 wOBA (third-best on the team). 18 Hank Conger - A cult hero already because of his goofy personality, he added to his legend with his framing skill. While he still has throwing issues, Conger may very well have done enough this season to turn Chris Iannetta into trade bait. 19 Alberto Callaspo - The best part of Callaspo being traded is that we no longer have to listen to people talk about how underrated he is or stick our heads in the sand regarding his ugly history of off-field problems. 20 Grant Green - Green showed that his bat belongs in the bigs, but we still don't know where his glove belongs. At worst, his magnificent mane of hair should earn him a walk-on role in the next C.J. Wilson Head and Shoulders commercial. His 27.7% strikeout rate really supports the Season of the Whiff initiative as well. 21 Jerome Williams - If there is one stat that tells you all you need to know about what kind of season the Angel pitching staff had, it is that Williams pitched 169 innings. 22 Robert Coello - Maybe Coello never amounts to anything, but at least he gave us the ********** and for that we will always be grateful. 23 Andrew Romine - He still can't hit, but he really put on a defensive clinic in his unexpected stint as the team's starting third baseman. 24 Collin Cowgill - He had some nice defensive moments, but despite facing almost exclusively left-handed pitching, he hit about as well as you would expect for an outfielder that the outfield desperate Mets felt like they didn't need anymore. 25 Buddy Boshers - A lefty that wasn't particularly good against lefties. Boshers somehow managed to make 25 appearances this season despite entering camp as the 7th southpaw reliever on the depth chart. 26 Luis Jimenez - Lucho got us all excited when he first came up but quickly tailed off. He should still be in the mix at the hot corner in 2014, but it wouldn't be a surprise if he spent all of 2014 in the minors either. 27 Sean Burnett - The 9.2 innings he gave the Angels were strong, but the 50+ innings he was unable to provide proved to be a real killer. 28 J.C. Gutierrez - Living proof that Jerry Dipoto never met a hard-throwing, control-challenged reliever that he didn't want to sign. Why Scioscia fell in love with him too, I will never know. 29 Cory Rasmus - Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, maybe Dipoto should stop trading with the Atlanta Braves. 30 Michael Kohn - I hereby nominate Kohn to be given the nickname Chernobyl for all of the meltdowns he had in the second half of the season. 31 Ryan Brasier - One of those guys that never impressed scouts but had always been productive in the minors, Brasier had two short stints in Anaheim where he was productive but not particularly impressive. At least he is consistent. 32 Kevin Jepsen - Another ineffective and injury-prone season might finally be the last nail in the coffin for Jepsen's Angel career. 33 Chris Nelson - It really can't be said enough that Nelson was just terrible for the Angels this season. He never should've played as much as he did and he in no way should be considered for a role on the team next season. 34 Tommy Hanson - A truly cursed season for Hanson who started decently only to be sidelined for weeks after his brother's death then returned only to be ineffective and unhealthy. The worst part of it all is that he made two impressive relief appearances after being recalled from the minors that should at least give the team some pause on the decision to non-tender him. 35 Billy Buckner - He wasn't any good, but Buckner deserves a lot of appreciation for allowing the team to DFA him three different times and not once complaining about it . 36 Matt Shoemaker - One solid start does not a big leaguer make, but Shoemaker should be given a shot at taking over the Jerome Williams swingman role in 2014. 37 Michael Roth - He got hit hard in his brief time in the majors, but I have a soft spot in my arm for the crafty soft-tosser. Hopefully we see more of him in 2014. 38 Efren Navarro - My one regret with Navarro is that he didn't get enough playing time for us to enjoy all the word play opportunities the first name Efren affords us. 39 John Hester - What am I really supposed to say about a guy that had one plate appearance all season? 40 Tommy Field - Tommy could neither field nor hit. He seems as likely as any to lose his 40-man spot before Opening Day if not much sooner. 41 Scott Cousins - I literally forgot that he ever played for the Angels this season. 42 Nick Maronde - Remember before the season when we all though Maronde could be an impact reliever on Opening Day? Oops! 43 Brendan Harris - Yet another example of the damage that can be done to a team when you ignore your bench. 44 Daniel Stange - I had no idea he was even in the organization when he got called up. That should tell you just how desperate the bullpen situation was in 2013. 45 Brad Hawpe - I'm still trying to figure out how he ever ended up on the active roster, much less received 32 plate appearances. 46 Barry Enright - An absolute disaster as a spot starter and all I can think about is that the Halos actually traded someone to acquire him in 2012. 47 Mark Lowe - Quite possible a sleeper agent from the Rangers, Lowe threw 11.2 innings, walked 11 and fanned just seven. That's ground to try him for treason, right? 48 David Carpenter - He pitched one-third of an inning and had an ERA of 108.00. So, yeah. There's that. 49 Joe Blanton - If/when Jerry Dipoto gets fired, the signing of Joe Blanton will be at the very top of the list of reasons for his dismissal. On a team full of disappointments Blanton stood head and shoulders above the rest. For his sake, let's hope the Angels release him this off-season rather than subject him to a shower of constant boos in 2014. [follow]
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