Found April 20, 2012 on Razzball:
87439448
Now that Lance Berkman is on the DL, I’m going to read from your rankings.  Random Italicized Voice, I’m not here to talk about the past.  Is it true or is it not true that after Mr. Bungling Berkman in 2011, you said to avoid him this year?  I’m not here to talk about the– Oh, yeah, that is true.  See, I wasn’t setting you up to fail *cough* Vernon Wells is a sleeper *cough*  Thanks.  Now, instead of the past, let’s look into the future, specifically Matt Carpenter.  Right now, he’s filling in for Berkman and he’s hitting .321 with a donk and 11 ribbies — hey, give one to Eve! (The rapper.  She likes barbeque.)  In Triple-A, Carpenter hit 12 homers and .302, while his eye makes his OBP’ing gaudy by nature.  I’m not gonna say he’s the wickedest man alive because, well, interjection, he’s not.  In 500 ABs, he’d be lucky to hit 10 homers and contribute a handful of steals.  He can hit for a solid average and get on base.  In deep leagues, if you’re in a bind, man, pick
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