Originally written on Larry Brown Sports  |  Last updated 7/9/12

Oh, why won’t anybody give poor Jose Canseco a chance to compete in the Home Run Derby? Screw these current superstars who are trying to steal the spotlight away from him. Canseco’s only 48 years old, hasn’t played in the majors since 2002 and is one of the few people in the known world whose testicles can be identified as raisins. And since he’s hurting for money, he’d just like some advice on how to win the lottery. Is that too much to ask?

Plus he’s like the sauced-up of version of Jerry Maguire. He completes you.

Actually shocked there weren’t any spelling errors in that one.

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