Originally posted on Razzball  |  Last updated 8/31/12

Yesterday, Jason Kipnis went 2-for-4 with his 13th homer.  Member when he had 11 homers going into the All-Star break and we were like, “Yo, I’d let Kipnis sleep with my baby’s mama.  He earned that shizz, yo.  Just make sure you change the sheets, that’s all I ask.  And maybe if you could pick up some milk for my morning coffee.”  Well, here’s a discussion topic:  The Catcher in the Rye is neither about baseball or bread.  Discuss.  Here’s another:  Is Kipnis all that and a bag of bagel chips or was he just a good first half with a bad case of the shpilkis in his genechtagazoink.  Good question from your internal monologue.  In the first half, Kipnis had a career month in May with 5 homers, 7 steals and a .295 average.  If that doesn’t seem that great, it wasn’t bad when you were living it, you greedy schmendrick.  But, he was playing above his head.  In the beginning of the season, I gave him 14 homers for the year in his projections.  I turned out to be pretty close.  His steals are off the charts from my or anyone’s projections.  He now has 26 steals on the year, though only 6 since the ASB.  That seems more in line with what I’d expect.  He should be a solid 2nd baseman next year, but a 15/30 guy seems be asking too much.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Justin Masterson – 4 IP, 8 ER as his troubles against lefties went up against his home dominance and his lefty struggles prevailed.  Today was his FIFTH start since July 1st that he gave up 7+ ER.  In the other 7 starts, he’s given up 1 or less ERs 5 times, 2 ERs once, and 4 ERs once.  So in 11 of his 12 starts he has either been great or awful.  He is the epitome of a hot, crazy girl.

Josh Reddick – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 27th homer.  So, maybe saying last week that Reddick was done was jumping the gun a bit.  Eh, when dealing with a Reddick, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Josh Donaldson – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer in as many games.  In the preseason, he was a very deep sleeper because of his peculiar catcher eligibility, then he flamed out quickly and not that brightly.  Well, he still can catch in fantasy leagues and he’s hitting and playing 3rd.  He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, because he’s here now.  Don’t make me come back here!

Cliff Pennington – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer.  Not in this game, though that wouldn’t be a record.  Mark Whiten, “Suck it, Clifford!”

Kevin Frandsen – 4-for-5 with a run and RBI.  In 107 ABs, he has 1 homer and zero steals with a .355 average.  That would be a great line in the dead ball era, but back then they didn’t have outfield fences, a 2nd base bag and anyone suspicious of balderdash was committed to a mental asylum.

Kyle Kendrick – 7 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks.  After a sloppy first start back in the rotation (3 1/3 IP, 6 ER), he’s rattled off 4 straight solid starts (29 1/3 IP, 4 ER).  His next start is at Cincy, but then he gets an easy road to the finish.  I’d give him a looksie.

Mike Baxter – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in the last 3 games.  Unfortch, he sits vs. lefties.  Fortch, there’s more righties.  Fortunoff’s, good deals on backyard furniture.

Jonathon Lucroy – 3-for-5, 7 RBIs and his 9th homer.  He now has 20 of his 49 RBIs vs. the Cubs, placing him firmly on Lou Malnati’s secret, “You Get Nada” list with Mike Schmidt, Milton Bradley and any goats.

Rickie Weeks – 5-for-5, 4 runs, which comes after a 7-for-47 stretch and almost a month after his 4-for-4 game in July.  How about we call him Rickie “Every Four” Weeks?

Shaun Marcum – 4 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks until he left early with calf cramps; too bad they couldn’t bring in Donnie Veal.  Not to fear, the Brewers bullpen’s got this!  A 7 to 3 lead turned to a 12-11 loss as Dor-K came in to put the finishing touches on the abomination, giving up 3 earned in a third of an inning.  Let’s have some fun with Francisco Rodriguez’s $8 million salary for this year.  In one day, he makes $21,917.  In one week, he makes $153,846.  In one month, he makes $666,666.  Weird, usually deals with the devil aren’t so obvious.  (Info was provided by this site.  If you have three hours to kill and want to feel great about all your life choices, check it out.)

Brett Jackson – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, 2 walks and only K, but he’s coming off two previous games with a combined 0-for-5 with 4 Ks.  I think there’s probably a more reliable (read: boring) option on your waivers.

Ryan Vogelsong – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Lastros.  The win could allow me to stick my head in the sand, but this moment has been coming for a few weeks now.  For my fantasy team, Vogelsong’s sung his swan song (say that fast 117 times!).  I’m not sure who I’m dropping him for, but it’ll be a streamer.  With a month left, there’s no reason to wait out a rough patch.

Brandon Belt – 4-for-5 with an RBI.  I have a crazy feeling I’m gonna be excited about Belt again next year and he’ll have a starting job out of Spring Training then get benched by April 15th.  Guy Fieri would call it a hunch.

Greg Holland – Got the night off after some anxious save chances the last two nights so the Royals went to Kelvin Herrera, who is a bit more hot-tempered than his brother, Fahrenheit.  Holland’s still the closer.

Alex Gordon – 2-for-4 with his 10th homer.  Gordon is hitting .298, so it’s not like he’s been bad, but ten homers?  That’s the new blech.

Brandon League – Pitched a scoreless 9th inning.  Yay!  In a losing game.  No yay!  But managers sometimes throw their closers in the 9th inning in home games when they’re losing to get them work.  Small yay.  I really still have no idea who’s going to be the closer.  I’d put it at 51% chance of League and 49% for Belisario.

Zach Britton – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Has now strung together three solid starts, but before that it was three turds vs. the A’s, Yankees and Mariners.  For now, he’s like a $1000 car as in the Bottle Rockets song lyrics, “If a $1000 car was truly worth a damn, then why would anybody ever spend ten grand?”

Lance Berkman – Set to be activated on Saturday when rosters expand, but he’s not at 100%, so he’ll probably be used sparingly, which is good if you’re a bowling ball, but not so great for fantasy.

Rafael Furcal – Left yesterday’s game with an elbow strain, which may be a torn UCL.  Frankly, I’m surprised he made it this far into the season before an injury and don’t call me Frank Lee.

Jaime Garcia – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks.   The Stream-o-Nator had a bad day yesterday, as Jaime Garcia looked about as bad Lorena Garcia trying to make Thai food.  BTW, there should be a Top Chef Masters watching game.  Every time Lorena Garcia says something about healthy or fighting obesity, you should have to eat a Lorena Garcia-endorsed Taco Bell burrito.

Josh Willingham – 1-for-4 with his 33rd homer and 95th and 96th RBIs.  Oh mer gerd, if I can haz Willingham on every team, oh mer gerd.

Denard Span - To the DL with a sprained sternoclavicular joint, which also happened to be the sentence usage for sternoclavicular in last year’s National Spelling Bee.

Carlos Villanueva – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Chuck Newtown’s ERA is at 3.10 and he has more Ks than innings (101 Ks in 98 2/3 IP), which is terrific, fabulous, adjective, but he looks like he’s been tiring out in August, so I’d only use him if the matchup was right.

Yunel Escobar – 2-for-3 after going 4-for-5 the night before.  He also has a hit in 8 straight games.  Granted, there was only one in each of the other six, but when looking for hot schmotatos, you gotta turn a slightly blind eye here and there.

Chad Billingsley – Could be out for the year with a very tender elbow.  That’s why you should always order it al dente.

Bryce Harper - 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his third homer in the last two games.  We’ve had some good s’s and g’s with Harper so far this year.  We’ve had a laugh; yes, we have.  But I’m listening to Matchbox Twenty and I wanna get real for a sec.  Where the hell does Harper go next year in drafts?  Way overdrafted in the first 5 rounds?  Do peeps (not the marshmallow bunnies, but what the kids say) wait until around to pick 80?  Do peeps stay realistic and wait until around pick 100?   I’m not sure, to be honest.  I do know it’s 3 AM I must be lonely.

Edwin Jackson - 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.  I wish the real world would just stop hassling me!  Sorry, I need to change the album.  Please don’t change!

Jayson Werth – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer from the leadoff spot.  This was his first homer since he returned from being unwell.  A goodish sign, but he probably won’t be a hundred percent until next year, FWIWerth.

Stephen Strasburg - Nats announced what everyone already knew and what I think they already announced, that Strasburg will make two or three more starts, and end the year around the previously discussed 160 innings.  Don’t worry, Nats fans, John Lannan’s fresh!

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