Originally written on IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS caught  |  Last updated 11/18/14
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Wow. He could become the Jackie Robinson of Breath-Right Nasal Strips.He'll break the nasal barrier. What courage! For so many years, no one stepped forward to don the strip. Damn, do we feel proud or what?Dear God, can't you do something? Can't you twitch your nose like Samantha in "Bewitched" and turn this guy into Moose Skowron? Breath Right Nasal Strips? Have we come to this? Open-air, unrepentant shilling? It's like the scene in "Rocky" when Slyvester Stallone enters the ring wearing the logo of a local butcher shop. At least Rocky Balboa was supposed to be poor. What's Tex's excuse? Did he think nobody would notice? Did he think nobody would care?Wow. This is like Bobby Valentine: rancid on infinite levels. You can't satire this. You can't even condemn it. Where do you start?Well, we could ponder other possible New Year's resolutions, such as: "Hit to the opposite field during the overshift, you stupid lug!"or, "Learn to freakin' bunt!" Those would be nice. Want to be The Firs...
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