Found April 19, 2012 on Race Review Online:
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Let’s start with who Rockies starter Jamie Moyer is younger than. It’s tough.  No, wait.  I can do this. He’s younger than Donald Trump, Marlboro cigarettes and aluminum foil.   He was born after the forming of the Beatles, but before their trip across the pond.   Cal Ripken Jr., who retired a decade ago, has two years on Moyer.  And he’s the Iron Man. In fact, let’s start calling Moyer the Bronze Man as a homage to the age he’s from.  It has much more mystique than what usually comes to mind or what Jimmy Rollins called him on twitter Tuesday night – a “dinosaur.” The 49-year-old Bronzy tossed seven brilliant innings to beat the Padres 5-3 on Tuesday night, inducing twelve ground balls and three double plays on his way to becoming the oldest pitcher in the major leagues to ever win a baseball game.  He needed only 87 pitches to carve up San Diego, none of them breaking 80 mph. The most astounding part of Moyer’s record is that he even had a chance to achieve it.  In a sport where pitchers look like tight-ends and toss bullets, Moyer’s a history teacher throwing what some people must think are medicine balls.  He weighs as much as Sam Fuld 
 and his fastball brings irony to the pitch’s name.  He’s more flounder than flamethrower.  Dammit, I throw harder. Pitchers like Jamie Moyer usually don’t even get a chance to play college ball.  But his age is the story.  So here: Moyer debuted in 1986, the year Felix Hernandez was born.  It was an ancient time when phones hung by cord and Tommy John was a pitcher, not a procedure. He’s played 26 years in the majors for eight teams, almost giving up as many home runs (511) as he’s had teammates (600 +).  He is older than the lights at Wrigley Field and all but four current ballparks.  He has 31 years on his own team. Over the course of his career, Moyer has been traded for Mitch Williams, who was born in 1964, and Andrew Barb, who was born in 1984.  He is older than 37% of America’s grandparents. In their preseason projections, ESPN.com fantasy baseball had him ranked behind Kenny Rogers, who retired four years ago. And yet there he was Tuesday night, vintage Bronzy, proving Matthew Berry wrong and showing the major’s fourth-youngest team what hard work and a little experience can do.  He struck out only one batter, Cameron Maybin, who is twenty-four years his junior. After the game 26-year old Rockies outfielder Carlos Gonzalez tweeted photos from the post-game celebration the team held in the clubhouse for Moyer’s historic win.  Besides from the our hero being soaking wet with champagne, they looked like shots from an anniversary party. Drink up, Bronzy.  You’re definitely of age.  Wonder how old the bottle was.
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