Originally written on The Outside Corner  |  Last updated 5/3/13
RANK TEAM CHANGE SCHEDULE COMMENT 1 +2 @ TEX vs. MIN Thanks to the Garfoose we now must all watch the BoSox even more intently to see what substance Clay Buchholz may or may not have on his arm. Also, more Mike Napoli moonshots, please. 2 -1 vs. NYM @ CIN Brian McCann comes back this week and the Watchability Gods promise a stern rebuke if this ruins the Oso Blanco experience. 3 +1 vs. BOS @ MIL They were threatening to crack the top two, but then A.J. Pierzynski came back from his minor oblique problem. No one likes you, A.J.. We can forgive them a little bit though as Texas has some fantastic match-ups this week. 4 +1 @ HOU @ WAS A Tigers-Nationals match-up is a juicy potential World Series preview. 5 -3 @ PIT vs. DET NO! Harper and Strasburg both ailing at the same time. Hold me, I'm cold. It's sooo coooold. 6 +2 @ NYY @ CLE Bonus points for Brandon Moss going with the self-pie in the face after the marathon 19th-inning walk-off win. 7 -- 0 @ MIL @ CHC What is not to like about a rotation where the worst ERA is 2.75? Oh, right, the nightmarish bullpen but even that might be getting better with the arrival of Carlos Martinez. 8 -2 @ CHC vs. ATL Their offense is sputtering right now. If only Joey Votto didn't take so many pitches. Right, Verducci? 9 +1 vs. LAD vs. PHI Between Brandon Crawford slugging .521 and Matt Cain serving up three taters in one inning, the Giants are too confusing to watch. 10 +1 @ SD vs. LAD Remember when Kevin Towers could build a dominant bullpen out of wishes and dreams? Yeah, those were good times. 11 -2 vs. CWS @ BAL Punishing them in advance of what promises to be a weekend of snowed out games. It was cute in April, but it is just plain stupid in May. 12 -- 0 @ LAA vs. KC "Promoting Freddy Garcia to start on Saturday" is watchability code for "ewww, gross." Good thing Manny Machado is so fantastic. 13 -- 0 vs. STL vs. TEX Seven homers or no, he is still Yuni Betancourt. 14 +4 vs. OAK @ COL The DL continues to grow but the Yanks continue to win. This creates quite the predicament for the Watchability Gods. 15 +6 vs. TB vs. NYY Why hello there, Nolan Arenado. 16 +7 vs. WAS vs. SEA They finally won in Milwaukee! I guess it is time to finally buckle in, sit back and enjoy this ride while it lasts. 17 +3 @ COL vs. TOR Seriously, where the f@#! is Wil Myers? 18 -3 vs. MIA @ SF Delmon Young is back and he is playing right field! DOWN YOU GO. 19 -2 @ TOR @ PIT You know a team is not worth watching when Robert Andino taking playing time from Brendan Ryan becomes a thing. 20 -6 vs. SEA @ TB Not only did they lose Josh Johnson to the DL, they are replacing him with Ricky Romero. Avert your eyes. 21 -5 @ ATL vs. CWS They tried so hard to get swept by the Marlins. We normally reward teams for effort, but not that kind of effort. 22 +6 vs. MIN vs. OAK When did the Cleveland offense get so good? And why is nobody talking about how absurd Carlos Santana has been playing? 23 -4 @ SF vs. ARI If not for the Marlins, the Dodgers would be the lowest scoring team in all of baseball. $240 million just doesn't buy what it used. 24 -2 vs. ARI vs. MIA With the Chase Headley extension drama, it makes us wish the Friars were as interesting on the field as they are off of it. 25 -- 0 vs. BAL vs. HOU Anytime you can use 19 pitchers and every healthy pitcher on the 40-man roster in one month, you clearly have a team that is hard to watch. 26 +3 @ CLE @ BOS We promise the Twins a big jump up the rankings if their surprising pitching can survive the Tribe and the Red Sox this week. 27 -3 @ KC @ NYM Hawk Harrelson might want to lend some of The Will To Win to the putrid White Sox lineup. 28 -2 vs. DET @ LAA We all know the Astros aren't trying to win but this Philip Humber thing is getting pretty sad. 29 -2 vs. CIN vs. STL Maybe new video boards and signage blocking the rooftop views is a blessing in disguise for the fans? 30 -- 0 @ PHI @ SD With Stanton on the shelf, we are one Jose Fernandez injury away from being able to pretend that the Marlins don't even exist. [follow]
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