Originally posted on The Sports Bank  |  Last updated 1/27/13
New Chicago Cubs outfielder Dave Sappelt, you are know Dave Chappelle. Your attempts at humor are about as effective as Alfonso Soriano’s fielding. Your rendition/attempt at Sinbad’s “women be shopping!” bit fell painfully flat. And you made remarks that would you an A+ at the Joe Cowley school of gender relations. You knew never took a class in women’s studies in college did you? In case you haven’t heard, there’s ice and freezing rain on Midwestern roads tonight. And that means driving might be a bit more treacherous for all. Or if you listen to Sappelt, the road conditions are even more hazardous if you have a vagina. Sappelt tweeted: “@SappySappelt6 Women driving me scares the dog **** out of me???????????????????? ” I think Danica Patrick may take issue with this since deleted tweet. Wait there’s more, Sappelt later tweeted: “When women get to shopping theres no stopping them looks like its time to pull the #FIREALARM????????????????????????????????????????????????” First off, what’s with all the symbols/avatars/emoticons whatever cyber term the kids are using today? You’re not on skype or texting your sweetie here. You look someone who just discovered  computer. Secondly, women driver jokes?? What are you a hack comedian from the 1950s Borsch Belt? Stop being a regressive troglodyte. Thirdly, tone down the language. Because tons of kids look up to you. The sailor talk isn’t a good example for them. Fourth, why would dog **** come out of you? You’re not a quadriped, you’re a human being so how would dog **** get in your system in the first place? Fifth, you’re a Buffalo Bills fan. Actually, this I’ll respect, there are no bandwagon, fair-weather Bills fans on this planet. That team is the Charlie Brown Christmas tree of the NFL. h/t to Julie DiCaro who had many great responses to this. including this one: “For the love of God, @Cubs, I’m begging you. Let me teach social media etiquette to your players.” Yeah, Cubs Media Relations, maybe you should invite her to Wrigley and give a seminar. Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net, a Google News site generating millions of unique visitors. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Chicago Tribune.com, Walter Football.com, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports A Fulbright scholar, published author and MBA, Banks has appeared on live radio all over the world; he’s also a member of the Football Writers Association of America, U.S. Basketball Writers Association, and Society of Professional Journalists. The President of the United States follows him on Twitter (@Paul_M_BanksTSB) You should too.  
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