Orioles to AL East: "Ahem"

Playing in the AL East is like being trapped in a cage with a couple of lions. The Rays managed to sneak by last year, but in most cases, every attempt at escape has led to botched hopes and another bloody stump for an arm. No other teams really face this horrifying scenario, but with alarming consistency, the Yankees and Red Sox have snared the top spot and not even really noticed which of their other three division-mates were still alive. Obviously, the Baltimore Orioles want to remedy this. The first name that comes to mind when you think about Orioles’ playoff appearances in recent years isn’t even a baseball player, it's Jeff Meier, that mop-topped little **** that stole the home run out of Tony Tarrasco’s glove and then was celebrated by the entire city of New York for cheating at baseball on national television. So, barring any other obnoxious children who don’t have the brain capacity to know you can’t touch the baseball when it’s in p...