Paulino Was Bad, Was Bad, Was Really REALLY Bad

Husband did NOT want to watch the game last night. He said - we both know that the Astros grab ankles and allow rookies to repeatedly kick their (gluteal muscles) and anyhow, Paulino sucks. Bad attitude. But I had to watch the last 3 of 4 games on replay and I felt like watching a game live so I said FINE, I'll watch it with the Dogsss. (Yes, of course my Dogsss are baseball fans - you should see them fetch balls and sticks... But I digress...) So anyway, here I was, hoping that the Felipe Paulino who actually spotted his FB well and got his slider to move 5 days ago would show up. He sort of showed up for the first batter. He threw a straight FB down the middle, then an inside FB, then a perfectly spotted inside slider, then a Brad Lidge slider which got him a swinging K. Then he threw the next batter 4 FB, 3 of which were in the exact same location (not a good idea to throw FB in a hittable location over and over to a ML hitter) and he swatted it into left. Then he goes to 1-2 on Sandoval (a perfectly placed FB on the outside corner then a slider with good movement) then he threw a FB thigh high down the middle and POW, it's 2-0. Husband says, Paulino is worse than Backe. The next guy singles, then Renteria is up. Paulino goes to 1-2, then Quintero can't handle a slider in the dirt and it is man on second, 1 out. Then, bad luck happens. Paulino throws a perfect slider for a strike to the lower outside corner and instead of strike 3, it's ball 3. (Yes, I checked it with gameday, too. No question, the ump missed the pitch - and this is what I mean by Quintero being terrible at framing pitches. But I digress...) Renteria then hits Ball 4 into center and goes to second when the ball gets thrown to third instead of second. You notice that Paulino has managed to go to a 0-2 or 1-2 count on every batter but 1, so far, then can't finish the job. Out trots Dewey, So Paulino settles down for a batter, manages to get a called 3rd strike which is perfectly placed inside. Very next pitch, Quintero can't handle a high slider and the guy on 3rd scoots home on a passed ball. But Paulino gets the batter to ground out and there we are, bottom of the first, down 3-0. The rook mows down hitters 5,6,7 (and yes, Pence IS in the middle of a terrible slump, which no one is noticing because he's batting 6th so Coop can bat Blum 5th and have that critically important L,R,L,R,L,R,L,R,P lineup - and he's 6 fer 39 with 1 walk, 2 doubles and 4 RBIs.) Then it's Paulino again. And there he goes again, on his own. He goes to 0-2 on the first batter, then throws him 2 waaaayy outside pitches, then throws a FB down the middle, which the kid promptly swats off the wall in center. The pitcher sac bunts him to 3rd. Then he walks Rowand, the next guy, on 4 straight pitches, not even close. Oh geez. Paulino has gotten afraid of the strike zone. Meeting on the mound. Undoubtedly the usual stuff - throw strikes, keep the ball down, can you get this guy out, are you OK? No problem, I'm fine, etcetcetc. So sure enough, he keeps the ball down for the next 4 pitches, 2 balls and 2 strikes (you notice I keep talking about that 2 strike thingy) and then he throws a mid-thigh FB inner third and Winn smokes it off the RF wall for a triple and 2 more runs are in. This is NOT gonna be Paulino's day, but nobody has warmed up enough yet. Next pitch is a slider right down the middle, but the batter is juuuuust a little late and lines it out to Berkman. Two outs. Then it's another slider down the middle, a little above the knees and it's hit for a RBI single. Then a crotch-high FB down the middle and it's another single. No relief in sight. Or is Coop just gonna leave him out there as he did Backe last year, TWICE, when he could see plain as the nose on your face that he had absolutely NOTHING? The next batter takes a strike, then hits a hanging slider waaaaayyyy up off the right CF wall and 2 runs score. No. Wait, Umps check the replay and it's a homer. And this game is really OVAH as the Astros are down 9-0 and all there is left to see is will this game also be a nono? Which is what I tell Husband after the rook mows down 8,PH,1. I'm actually wondering if Coop is gonna throw Paulino back out there to throw more BP, but surprisingly, no and in trots Fulchino, who gets 2 quick outs. Then, it's double, single, triple, double, single and 4 MORE runs are in. Out trots Dewey who sez, like dude, you are staying in here for a hundred pitches so you might as well get some outs while you're at it. So he got the last out, and then mowed em down 1,2,3 in the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th. But really, it didn't matter because even after Berkman broke up the nono with a single in the 4th (which is when I agreed to stop watching) the Astros only managed 3 other lousy lil singles and the Giants rook has now started his career with 13 scoreless, having given up 7 hits, 4 walks and 6 K. Ryan Sadowski, picked in the 12th round of the 03 draft by the SF Giants. The Astros have exactly 4 guys on their 25 man roster who were either drafted by the Astros, signed as a Latin FA and came up through the Astros system, or was traded to the Astros as a minor leaguer. And it looks as if Cooper is bound and determined to keep it that way. sigh And this afternoon, the Stros face Tim Lincecum, the best pitcher in the NL. Yes, better than Santana. I like Lincecum, who is living proof of the old expression that it ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.