Pedro Gomez mysteriously evaporates after Bonds' 756th

Pedro Gomez, who was originally mistaken by scientists for one of the moons revolving around Bonds' gigantic head, unceremoniously disappeared last night following the record breaking home run at AT&T Park. Just moments after Bonds touched home plate and proudly acknowledged himself, a gigantic spaceship began hovering over the 3rd base line, politely putting it's hazards while thousands in attendance foolishly anticipated a shirt rocket blast. Seconds later, Gomez signaled to his production crew that it was...