Phil Rogers just ain’t smart

Phil Rogers is just not a good writer for someone who gets paid to write. He’s also doesn’t know much about baseball for someone who is paid to write about baseball. He knows little about the Cubs for someone is paid to write about the Cubs. The man just ain’t smart. He publishes a “whispers” column each week and they’re usually quite bizarre, but today’s is even more so than usual. For those who aren’t familiar with Phil Rogers, he’s the genius who came up with the +/- system last offseason to figure out which teams improved the most or got worse. I’ll just put it this way: if a team added Pujols, A-Rod and Lincecum while losing Adam Kennedy, Jeff Suppan, David Eckstein, and Jim Edmonds they would be -1. That’s right. That hypothetical team would have gotten worse, according to Phil’s math. The just ain’t smart. I’ve never really been able to figure out what the weekly “Whispers” column is about. One would think it has to do with rumors that Phil Rogers has heard from his imaginary friends, but it’s not really about rumors. Each piece is an exercise in proving he isn’t mentally gifted. Houston is planning a sneak attack on the Cubs and might improve its chances of success if it signs Adam Dunn to a one-year deal before camp starts. Dunn, a 40-homer man for five straight seasons, would allow the Astros to move Hunter Pence to center field and Michael Bourn to the bench. That would mean a huge lift to run-production. Dunn has multi-year offers on the table, including one from Washington, but clearly isn’t crazy about them.’ Can someone tell me what the hell a sneak attack is? Can someone tell me exactly how the Astros are going to surprise the Cubs in 2009? Also, if Dunn isn’t crazy about the multi-year offers, why would he be satisfied with deals that aren’t multi-year offers? Sam Fuld’s Aragua Tigres are poised to win the title for Venezuela, but Fuld didn’t participate, wanting to be fresh in hopes of outplaying Kosuke Fukudome and Joey Gathright to steal the center-field job at Wrigley Field. Sam Fuld may have wanted to be fresh to win the job, but his odds of doing so are equal to Phil’s. Sam Fuld is not good at baseball. What is that these writers love about Sam fucking Fuld? Oh yeah, he’s white and plays hard, and probably even gets dirty from time to time. They eat that shit up. It’s going to be interesting to hear what Rich Hill says about Lou Piniella’s patience when he’s a country away in the Orioles’ camp. He was sent to Iowa because of poor control and then labeled as a head case and disappointment. There’s a lot of talent for the Orioles to get out. … Yeah, it will sure be interesting to hear what a guy who wasn’t even good enough to pitch in the VWL says about Lou’s patience. No way will that be sour grapes. Let’s be honest too, Phil, who labeled him as a headcase? I’d bet a lot of money it wasn’t the Cubs organization as that’s just not a scouting term. Nope. It was the media. Fucks like you who think you are armchair psychiatrists. Fucks like you who know literally nothing about the player, but come up with bullshit reasons for something. Yep, you! Not the Cubs. There has been so little interest in Frank Thomas he doesn’t even land in the rumors. Proof that Phil Rogers’ “whispers” column is not about rumors. To be fair, Phil does pass along a few rumors. None of it interesting to any living person though. Mostly it’s just a garbage column about nothing. Kind of like this post now that I think about it.