Found February 19, 2012 on The Phillies Blunt:
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We went on a bender from roughly early October to a week ago here at the Blunt.  We don’t know who won the World Series, so please never tell us.  We’re back in baseball mode, though, so let’s get back to basics: making fun of Kyle Kendrick.

The Phillies avoided salary-abritration with Kendrick a month ago by coming to terms on a one-year contract for the 2012 season, and now they’ve decided to throw more money away on the right hander.  Kendrick has agreed to a two-year contract for the 2012 and 2o13 seasons to the tune of $7.5 million.  The Phillies originally tried to offer the contract to the 27 year-old yesterday when pitchers and catchers reported to Clearwater, but they could not find him because he was so far up Roy Halladay’s ass.  To be fair, if he’s going to take up residence in someone’s anus, we’re glad it’s Doc’s.  Doc’s colon has such focus.

In all honesty, though, Kyle did have a career year last season, posting a respectable 3.22 ERA with a record of 8-6 in 34 appearances, 15 of which were starts.  Those are career highs in both games and ERA.  Not bad for KK, especially considering he was shuffling between the bullpen and the starting rotation.

Here’s hoping Kendrick’s sixth and seventh season with the Phillies are the best of his career, and prove our headline wrong.

It’s good to be back, Blunt Nation.

 

SW-Ian Anderson

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