Signings, Both Real and Imaginary

When the Twins signed Jim Thome--who, believe it or not, has passed his physical--TBL was cautiously optimistic.  He hasn't been at his best the past couple of seasons, but he's still Jim "Holy Crap, Lookit That Go" Thome.  And, best of all, he won't be hitting against our pitchers anymore.  (The evidence suggests that Thome will still be able to go yard off Twins pitching from his wheelchair in 2050.)  The official line out of the organization at the moment is that Kubel is our DH, and Thome will be our big bat off the bench.    Then, oh joy! oh rapture!, word came down from on high (okay, from WCCO) that Joe Mauer had signed a 10-year contract extension!  TBL's ecstasy lasted about 4 hours, when news that there was no contract extension after all penetrated the haze of confetti and champagne here at Casa Liberales.  Sigh.  Pout.   But now, today, another real signing!  Color TBL stunned, bec...