Originally written on IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS caught  |  Last updated 4/15/13
Andy Pettitte is out until Friday.  He hurt his back getting off the couch.Listen: I don't know goulash about pitching. I've never played in the majors, and I have no answers when it comes to sparing elbows from the curse of Tommy John. But dammit, I do know couches. And if you don't know what you're doing when you climb onto one of those pillowy death traps, well, Mr. Sciatica, you might as well bungee jump from an airplane. Those things will end your career faster than you can say Donny Baseball.You get onto a couch after drinking, and - boom - it's morning. After he's pitched seven innings, giving Andy a couch would be like handing heroin to a child. So what was Andy doing on the couch?We all know the answer: the devil box. Yes, he was camped and boneless, eating chips, probably not using a secondary pillow, and watching some zombie show, with his back tightening as the shambling dead advanced. I just hope he didn't throw out his lumbago while reaching for the clicker, because I'...
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: DeAndre Jordan 'on verge' of accepting Mavs' offer

A-Rod, Yankees settle dispute over home run milestone bonus

Report: Robin Lopez, Knicks finalizing four-year deal

Becky Hammon will coach Spurs' Summer League team

Jimmy Butler on Derrick Rose: ‘I don’t think we have any issues’

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Yankees get A-Rod's 3,000th hit ball for $150,000 donation

Report: DeAndre Jordan 'torn' between Clippers, Mavericks

Russell Wilson 'would definitely consider' playing for Mariners

Lakers apologize for first, get second meeting with Aldridge

Mike Scioscia: Josh Hamilton should apologize to Arte Moreno

Sacramento Kings continue to be an utter disaster

Five reasons the Browns should play Johnny Manziel

Blue Jays need rookies to keep producing for success in 2015

WATCH: Sean Doolittle gets cup check from teammate

University of Florida developing high-tech smart mouth guard

Pat McAfee is the best punter in NFL history

Mets coach on slump: The only thing left is human sacrifice

MLB teams who will continue to surprise in second half

2015 Women’s World Cup Final: The Rematch

Answering the five biggest questions in NBA free agency

Report: Mavericks sign Wes Matthews to four-year contract

Dwyane Wade celebrates deal with tea, painted toenails

Coach K at fan town hall: 'I have no thoughts on retiring'

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Russell Wilson 'would definitely consider' playing for Mariners

Solo, Rapinoe among USWNT stars up for World Cup awards

LBS on Sports Jeopardy! Here's how how it went

College football's 35 most patriotic helmets

A brief history of non-star All-Stars

With Love retained, the Cavs can take care of LeBron

Grading the deal: Davis commits to Pelicans

Obama Administration: Change name if Redskins move to D.C.

Deciding what the All-Star Game means

Odell Beckham Jr. offered professional baseball contract

Orioles keep finding a way to win

Lloyd sends USWNT to World Cup final

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.