Originally posted on PRO Rumors  |  Last updated 5/24/12
Since rumors are out, I've decided to create a list with ten possible new owners for the New York Yankees: 10.) The Soup Nazi (Seinfeld): This should be fun to watch. You struck out?, no more soup for you. You gave up a home run?, no more soup for you. But that's pretty much it. 9.) Indiana Jones: The guy is a badass, an educated badass. Among other things, he would be the only team owner with an Adolf Hitler autograph. Downside: He'll dig every corner of the stadium looking for hidden treasures. 8.) Sean P. Diddy Combs: Since he's part of the fashion industry I'm sure the Yankees would have to play in pinstripes tuxedos. The name of the team could be changed to “New York Puff Daddies.” Downside: The team will probably stop playing baseball and start rapping. MC Captain, DJ A-Rod and Lil' Grandy would be their biggest stars. 7.) Shigeru Miyamoto: The guy has created some of the most successful video games ever, so that would be really, really cool. The cleanup guy would probably be Donkey Kong, who could hit about 100 HR's per season, and the new Captain, Mario. Downside: Princess Peach would replace Mariano Rivera as the Yankees' closer and Bowser would probably kidnap her before her first appearance. So Mario would have to leave his duties as the new Yankees' captain to rescue her. 6.) Niko Bellick (GTAIV): The guy is a fighter, he came to Liberty City New York , fought his way to the top and became a very influential character. Downside: The guy is a maniac, and he would probably be involved in multiple assassinations before the season is over. Including players, umpires, team executives, etc. 5.) Homer Simpson: I don't see any scenario where Homer Simpson becomes the owner of the New York Yankees and the team doesn't go to hell, but it'd be fun to watch though. He'd probably become the team's mascot, sell Duff beer in every corner of the stadium, including dugouts, and kick Ned Flanders in the nuts every time the Yankees hit a home run. 4.) Tony Stark: Iron Man would be a really cool Yankees owner. He recently moved to NY and built the Stark Tower so he'd be a perfect fit. He'd also come up with a bat that cannot be broken and anybody who uses it could hit 700ft home runs. Downside: Instead of the players, he'd get all the ladies and that would make the players jealous. Plus he'd probably try to weaponize baseball gloves, bats, helmets, etc. 3.) Bruce Wayne: As a part of Wayne Enterprises, the Yankees would probably have a lot of great toys. Yankee Stadium would have to change the name to Batcave Stadium and every game would have to be played at night. Downside: Every game would have to be played in pitch dark too, so the owner doesn't get exposed, and that doesn't sound funny at all. 2.) James Bond: MI6 secret agent. License to kill and to own a Major League baseball team. No other team would be able to keep a secret from him. He'll know everything that is going own around the league. Downside: Just like with Stark he'd get all the ladies and SPECTRE will probably try to destroy Yankee Stadium every single day. 1.) Darth Vader: Pinstripes are out, Stormtroopers uniforms are in. Vader is the ultimate owner. No umpire will dare to make a call against Lord Vader. He'd “force choke” players, umpires, team executives if he finds “their lack of faith disturbing.” Yankee Stadium would probably become the Death Star III. Downside: The Death Star III might blow into pieces someday. Image by Ed Yourdon under the Creative Commons License.
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