Originally written on Five Tool Tool  |  Last updated 11/18/14
Reason #11: He Sells Newspapers! 10) Michael Bourn is a much better player, but getting him involves talking to that icky Boros guy9) Wanted to make Ryan Howard feel fast and spry when he comes in for Young at first as a defensive replacement8) Want to recreate that 1970s feel with Ben Revere as Garry Maddux and Young as Greg Luzinksi7) Taking a big dump on Domenic Brown is something of a tradition now6) Want a more proven mediocrity than Darin Ruf5) Gives them a Double Young lineup with Micheal at third, which makes for all kinds of Orwellian fun for the PR staff4) With inter-league games happening all year, team really felt that they needed an experienced DH3) He was the MVP of the ALCS against the Yankees, which is as meaningful of a sample size as this team really wants to deal with any more2) A team that draws 3 to 4 million fans a year to an expensive new ballpark, with massive local television revenues in the largest single-team market in the MLB, really does need to economi...
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