Originally written on Down with Goldy  |  Last updated 10/17/14
Well that was pretty embarrassing.  In fact, it was so embarrassing that let's just go ahead and list all the cool things that happened and then maybe we can decide which is the worst.

1.  Getting swept by a team that has finished last in their division for four straight years, hasn't had a winning season since 1997, hasn't broken 70 wins since 2005, and once again has an over/under win total in Vegas of sub-70 by a combined score of 15-5.  Actually I'm pretty sure this is the most embarrassing part, but there are all kinds of embarrassing parts that make up this part, so let's keep going.

2.   Getting two hit through 7 innings by Jake Arrieta, who is at least a semi-prospect and the best pitcher the Twins' faced in the series.  Still, Arrieta is in his third year and has yet to post an ERA under 4.60 or a WHIP under 1.46 in a season, and using game score as a metric he has never pitched a game that scored 75 or higher (for reference, there were 354 such games last year alone).  Well, he never had, that is, until opening day against Minnesota where his 7ip-2h-2bb-4k masterpiece scored exactly 75.  So yes, that means Arrieta best game of his career was this last one.  Great.

3.  Getting shutout for 7+ innings by Tommy Hunter, a failed prospect who is already on his second team in just his fifth year.  He's only been good enough once to make more than 20 starts in a season and ended up in long relief with Texas before being traded to Baltimore for a set-up man.  The Twins finally scored, but because the rally started with an error both runs they scored were unearned.  This wasn't Hunter's best game, game score-wise, but it was just the third time in his career he pitched at least 7 innings without giving up an earned run.

4.  Getting no hit for 7 innings by Jason Hammel, a journeyman who is on his third team in his 7th year and spent two years as a reliever and has as career ERA of 5.  My calculation of his game score puts him at 78, one less K worse than his career best of 79.  Considering he allowed zero hits over the first seven innings, I think we can consider this the best start of his career, meaning two of the three starters the Twins faced put up a career best day, while the third guy was merely put up one of his best starts.  That, my friends, is a pretty ****** indicator for how this season is likely to go from here.

5.  Collectively the Twins scored one earned run (and 3 total) and tallied 10 hits against those three starters in 22 innings while striking out 12 times.  Yes, that's more Ks than hits and one run per game against three pitchers who all have a career ERA over 4.40.  The Twins overall are batting .163 (28th in MLB), with an OBP of 238 (30th) and a SLG of .228 (30th).  Their five runs and 15 hits also rank dead last. Pitching ranks 26th in ERA and 24th in opponents' batting average, dead last in strikeouts, and the Twins are one of only four teams who haven't had a quality start yet.

6.  The Twins are paying $23 million this year to a player who hit 1-for-10 and whose only hit was a weak infield groundball that managed to be hit in a perfect spot for an infield hit.  Two of their "biggest" free agent acquisitions (Jayme Carroll and Ryan Doumit) hit a combined 0-for-18.  The team managed just three extra base hits (2 for Morneau, 1 for Willingham) and were out-homered 5-to-1.  Yeah that was a whole bunch at once but I'm getting frustrated.

Getting swept, and convincingly swept, by a terrible team while getting completely shutdown by three sub-par pitchers.  Is it possible to open a season any worse?  At least there are only 159 games to go.
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

NFL to start airing its own anti-domestic violence PSAs

Ex-Bronco John Boyett punched cabbie, told cops to call Elway

Former NFL QB still feels effects of concussions every day

Robert Klemko given four-week suspension from The MMQB

Michael Vick: Percy Harvin won't be a monster here

Robert Griffin III 'guaranteed' to be back in Week 11

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Urlacher: Cutler paid like elite QB, hasn’t produced like one

Hoyer doesn’t think about getting benched for Manziel

Cardinals kicker blew $1,500 signing bonus on headphones

Ainge: Draft lottery reform would be 'better for the game'

Royals take Game 2 to even series with Giants

Report: Roger Goodell will have to testify in Ray Rice case

PK Subban as Michaell Jackson at Canadiens' Halloween party

On Kevin Love, Kyrie Irving and embracing newfound roles

One Direction promotes tour by acting like bandwagon NFL fans

Jimmy Howard unveils pink mask for 'Hockey Fights Cancer'

Louisville Athletic Dept. asking for donations at gas pump

Falcons make huge mistake with London infographic

DeMarco Murry surprises Cowboys linemen with iMacs

Jimbo Fisher's son reps for Winston on 'Superhero Day'

WATCH: Steve Ballmer freaks out while shown on Jumbotron

AUDIO: Rex Ryan pranks Sammy Watkins on conference call

Top storyline for each Week 8 NFL game

WATCH: Giants pitcher yells at Salvador Perez after HR

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

Are sports leagues finally getting serious about domestic violence?

Brian Urlacher rips Jay Cutler

On Kevin Love, Kyrie Irving and embracing newfound roles

Top NFL storylines: Week 8

Kiffin's mom worried for son's safety

Report: Goodell will have to testify

Penguins do 'O Canada' following tragedy

UEFA Champions League midway report: Groups A – D

Porn star: No one parties like Janikowski

Report: Expect Florida to make a run at Bob Stoops

The San Francisco Giants are zombies

10 bold predictions for NFL Week 8

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.