Here's a list of exciting things the Pirates might do in Dallas this week:
And here's a list of things the Pirates might actually do in Dallas this week:
Acquire Nate McLouth.
No, seriously, Nate McLouth. I mean, I guess Nate McLouth would be better at being Xavier Paul than Xavier Paul was and maybe a return to PNC would help him find his power stroke again. Probably not, though. Nate McLouth kind of sucks now.
Trade for Ian Stewart as a depressing form of Pedro Alvarez Insurance.
Have Derrek Lee turn down their arbitration offer.
Make a Rule 5 draft pick that will almost certainly make no impact on the 2012 team.
Issue a statement about the Miami Marlins, saying that the way that they've basically blackmailed their fans into buying them a new stadium and MLB into paying their bills with revenue sharing money so that they can now go ahead and buy a World Series will "literally take the sport down." Actually, if this happens it would be exiting. And they should definitely ...