So I've probably written this article at least three or four different times throughout the course of the last six days. Other than the fact that my schedule has been ridiculously full and included stints in NYC and Brooklyn, I really tried to do my best to make this article stand out in a way Etan Thomas would be proud of and at the same time, slightly embarrassed about.
As one of Washington's most popular players, Etan Thomas was the NBA's best mediocre player ever. For all the subpar career stats and average free throw shooting, most people will remember Thomas by two things: His long flowing dreadlocks and, yep, you guessed it, his poetry. Thomas was very open about his passion for the arts and specifically, poetry. So, I figured, what better way to write this post than to honor him with a poem.
*WARNING: If you're a fan of stupid and cheesy poetry, you're going to have a good time. So, here goes:
An Ode' To Etan Thomas
Dedreck Etan Thomas was his name,
Basketball was the profession, but poetry was his game.
Limericks, Haikus, Couplets and Sonnets >
having a career break out game that never happened against the Houston Rockets.
That ever flowing hair made defenders shake
Unfortunately for Wizards fans, he left the ball for them to take.
He enjoyed a great run, made the playoffs and even got to play with some of the greats
From Jordan to Gilbert, heck, even Jarvis Hayes.
Great team guy, and an amazing human being
One of the best men that this franchise has ever seen
Caring, Compassionate and always gave it his all
Even when the albatross contract ultimately lead to the beginning of the Wizards downfall
If not for Andray Blatche and the circus that came around,
Thomas' contract may have been the worst in the history of this town.
Six points a game and a career 60 percent free throw shooter gets you 40 million
Youngsters, maybe if you aim for double digits, Ernie will give you billions.
If you let him, he'd stop the game the game to deliver an epic poem
Maybe he could've helped me find a word that rhymed with poem…
other than Jerboam
Etan was a fan favorite and someone who was easy to cheer for
Then his shoulder injury and about 20 others before that pointed him towards the MCI door
He earned his spot and played a significant role
Even though his production equaled to that of Larry Hughes' mole.
All jokes aside, Thomas was a cool guy,
Someone I liked, and I didn't even have to try.
I had one jersey before my Wall that I actually went to buy,
It was number 36, I now use it to wipe my face when I cry.
In the wake of this snow storm and all the hype ahead of us that lied
It was a slight reminder to me of the Etan Thomas and all the jokes that have applied
What seemed to be promising from a distance, even promising on the radar
Ultimately ended up as a blunder and stayed in homie's memoir.
We thought this snow storm would end up being more like a blizzard,
But this contract was a symbol of Washington's struggles. #becauseWizards.
Emily Dickenson, eat your heart out.