Originally written on Legend of Cecilio Guante  |  Last updated 11/18/14
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Ah yes, the Twitter apology

Just gimme a f-in break already. Twitter’s cool for a lot of reasons. I won’t go into them. One thing that sucks about it is that it gives today’s athletes another easy and lame way out of any sort of accountability. Back in the day, if you f-ed up — and needed/wanted to show some remorse for actions that reflected poorly or your organization — you might get in front of a microphone or release a written statement or do an interview. Hell, you’ve even got agents, PR people and others who you can have write the stuff for you. It’s not an incredibly difficult formula.

Newly-acquired Knicks point guard Jason Kidd, instead used the increasingly-popular “Twitter route” on Friday to apologize for recent actions that led to his arrest and a DUI charge. The wreck left his Escalade totaled. As many have pointed out (including law enforcement), Kidd seems lucky to have escaped without any major injuries (let alone alive). Fortunately for him, Twitter provides the perfect platform to “face the music” in 140 characters or less. Kidd managed to pack as little sincerity into those characters as possible.

 

Here it is in all of its contrite (not) glory (or the opposite of):

Jason Kidd ‏@RealJasonKidd
I regret any disruption my accident last weekend may have caused members of the community and want to thank the local authorities.

Followed by:

Jason Kidd ‏@RealJasonKidd

I’d also like to thank my family and friends for their support.

Really? No, seriously? Dude, next time just skip it. Say how you are embarrassed by your actions and how they might reflect on your new employer. Talk about how it was a potentially deadly and inexcusable mistake. Pretend that it’s not in your character and maybe thank the fans and/or the Knicks for understanding maybe. “Disruption” is a weak, weak word. And what’s with thanking the local authorities? You make this sound like your neighbors called in the cops on a noise complaint. Fail.

Next time, make a real “statement” or don’t. Pretending like you just interrupted everyone’s favorite sitcom with an unwanted commercial reflects a lack of awareness and immaturity that’s frightening from a 39-year old man. My mother has always disliked Kidd. Ever since he plead guilty to beating up his wife a decade ago, he was “scuzz” in her words (which I always get/got a kick out of…you see, “scum” is an actual dirty word). She was clearly excited to see him come to New York. Anyway, I tend to be coming around to the same opinion. We can just add this latest mug to the archives.

Trip down memory lane

Sure, nobody is perfect and that we all make mistakes. How about the idea of actually taking some responsibility, though? Because this sh*t is kinda childish.

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