Originally written on Vikings Digital Diaries  |  Last updated 9/5/12
Dallas-cowboys-green-bay


It wouldn't be a Minnesota Vikings' game week without a little Green Bay Packers' bashing, even though we aren't playing them on Sunday. I don't even know who THEY are playing, for that matter. San Francisco?! Boring. Maybe all of the Packers and all of the 49ers should just forfeit the game and spend three hours making out and groping each others' nut cups on the fifty yard line in a massive, shirtless football orgy instead. That'd actually be more bearable to watch, and is likely what happened between Green Bay Packers' QB Aaron Rodgers and his two "friends" in the quarterbacks' "man cave" after these commercials for Pizza Hutt cut away from him.

[youtube]8yQIQFxpFrs[/youtube]

I don't know why Rodgers is promoting Pizza Hutt. Maybe that's the only food available in Wisconsin. That and probably that horse **** manure meat provided by Taco Bell. Regardless, we now have video evidence that Aaron Rodgers only let's dudes into his "man cave." The first video shown here is bad enough. The eye molesting he does to the guy in the brown shirt, his soft, supple voice bringing his new "friends" deeper and deeper into his comfort zone, and a huge, meaty, overflowing, beefy box of ... pizza ... sitting between them all.

I thought I'd seen enough to know all I need to know about Rodgers, but then this happened:

[youtube]KXmF1NuFDes[/youtube]

Damn Rodgers, you're making my pencil dick all tingly, you little tease. I was totally waiting for you to just start to slowly slide a finger or two into that guys mouth, and then have the camera cut back to you without pants on. Or maybe you do have pants on, but they're mesh shorts, and Pizza Hutt has a "churro" sticking out of the left pant leg, "accidentally." I get it, bro, it's lonely in Wisconsin. You don't often get two young men to explore your man hole on the weekends. Has to be pretty exciting. I'm not going to **** block you on this. All that extra meat is for you, man. You can even keep the leftovers!

While both of these videos are disturbing and telling, I'll just say I was probably more surprised that we didn't see this scene play out:
----------
*Camera cuts to two strangers sitting on opposite sides of a couch in Aaron Rodgers' man cave*

Guy One: This new Big Dinner Box from Pizza Hutt is the ultimate, most bodacious, epic food even for ANY football fan on gameday!

Guy Two: Totally! It comes with all of your favorite munchies like pizza, bread sticks, wings and more. You even get an ice cold Pepsi with it! But there's only one thing missing ...

Guy One: What's that, my most righteous Stuff Crust Bro-zza?

Guy Two: Extra meat!

*Aaron Rodgers enters in a cowboy hat, with a mustache, cowboy boots, and nothing else, holding a small pizza box in front of his genitals*

Rodgers: Did someone say, "extra meat?"

*Camera pans to Rodgers face as you see Guy One dart down in front of the camera, with the screen fading as Rodgers reveals his Vinegar Strokes*

END SCENE.
----------
I bet you that'd help it be an even better seller in Wisconsin, you guys.


via Total Packers

[follow]
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Brady issues statement on Facebook after having suspension lifted

Don Orsillo reportedly asked to lie about being fired by NESN

Matt Cassel believes Bills will keep three quarterbacks

St. Louis police seize scalpers' World Series tickets to give to friends

Eli Manning happy Tom Brady will play NFL season opener

Phil Kessel has shed 13 pounds this summer

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Cam Newton addresses ‘gang’ photo on Instagram

Steelers defense is younger and faster but not better

Duke basketball to visit White House next Tuesday

Report: Cowboys have interest in Broncos RB Montee Ball

NFL owners to discuss changing Goodell's disciplinary role

Report: Eagles trade Matt Barkley to Arizona Cardinals

WATCH: Ben Revere gifted Matt Wieters a home run

Judge Sarah Thomas as an NFL official, not a female NFL official

Redskins skip Robert Griffin III in jersey countdown

Wisconsin vs Alabama preview

Simona Halep popular with fans who want to kiss her

Patriots planned on raising a "Brady banner on opening night

Braves and Phillies sucking at the same time is rare

Montana St. linebacker delivers bone crushing hit in opener

Despite loss, all eyes still on Jim Harbaugh, Wolverines

Kirk Cousins discusses what it’s like to be called ‘Kurt’

Playoffs or not, Bryce Harper is the NL MVP

Donald Sterling’s wife Shelly seeking alimony

Chicago Bears and Jay Cutler: A love/hate relationship

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Wisconsin vs Alabama preview

Tom Brady issues statement on Facebook

Robert Griffin III and a dream deferred

Best, worst surprises of NFL preseason

The Gospel Of Harbaugh prepares for its ultimate test of faith

Meet the Utah Utes, the pluckiest program in college football

Iman Shumpert will name daughter Iman Shumpert Jr.

Dallas company celebrates Romo with DirecTV 'crownies'

Top 10 storylines for Week 4 of the NFL preseason

Matt Williams is still hopelessly married to the idea of the closer’s role

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker