Found August 04, 2012 on The Broad Street Journal:
PLAYERS: Andy Reid
TEAMS: Philadelphia Eagles


Amidst the all the news swirling around about Eagles training camp, and injuries and what not, I couldn’t help but notice that Andy Reid is approaching Ron Jeremy status with his walrus-like mustache (if it even qualifies as a mustache), and is quickly closing in on one of the worst mustaches of all time, right up there with Geraldo Rivera.

Someone should tell Big Red that the Eagles actually have to make the playoffs first before he can throw away the Gillette.

andy reids mustache

Also spelled “moustache”, a mustache is defined as “facial hair grown on the upper lip. It may or may not be accompanied by a type of beard, a facial hair style grown and cropped to cover most of the lower half of the face.”

You see folks, as someone who has rocked facial hair since the ripe old age of 15, in my book a mustache isn’t a mustache unless it is properly groomed. I can speak from experience here because I was a barber for 6 years, and I looked at, and groomed mustaches 5 days a week.

What Andy Reid has is effectively, a mass of multi-colored gruff, that at a glance, appears to be a paralyzed meerkat hanging from his upper lip.

If it wasn’t so damn hot outside, I would drive to Lehigh with my Andis T-Outliners, and offer our favorite ham sandwich eating friend a free trim.

I probably missed someone, so who do you think has the worst stache’ of all time? And who has the best? I’m going with Sam Elliot.

You just finished reading "Andy Reid does his best Ron Jeremy, Geraldo Rivera impersonation" on The Broad Street Journal! I'd love to hear your thoughts about it! Thanks for following along!


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