Originally written November 21, 2012 on Purple Jesus Diaries:
We've already established this week that the 2012 Minnesota Vikings bye week has been a success. No one was arrested for grab assing a high schooler, no one was caught smuggling drugs across the Mexican border, and Phil Loadholt decided not to eat a human being during the week. Everyone wins! But that doesn't mean people didn't do ANYTHING. As Vikings quarterback Christian Ponder proved, some players were extremely busy during the bye week ... Busy, CHASING THEIR HEARTS. Ponder was with girlfriend Samantha Steele throughout the bye week, as she was traveling around the country to do her reporting gig during college football. He was spotted in Virginia burning couches on the sidelines watching the Thursday night college game (as you see above), as Steele did the hard hitting news. But that wasn't it! Ponder was also seen posing like an emo videographer under a tent while Samantha stood next to him looking fantastic in a white coat and watching a replay of recorded coverage, probably. All bets are saying that Ponder was offering spectacular advice to her, discussing what she should work on for her footwork while doing camera interviews on the sidelines, and how to keep her eyes moving while being filmed to throw off her cameraman. Naturally, because Steele is probably smarter than Ponder despite his Master's Degree, she kindly patted him on his head, and thanked him for being her big helper this weekend.  So, yeah, Ponder spent his bye week in rainy Virginia, which sounds terrible. He even ended up wearing Virginia paraphernalia while on the sidelines, which seems odd. See, both Virginia and Florida State are in the ACC, so essentially Ponder is wiping his alumni ass with a Virginia hat. Or however that insult works. If I were a Florida State fan, I'd be pretty upset, but also happy, because I no longer have Ponder playing quarterback for my team. And while Samantha Steele DID do her undergraduate work in the state of Virginia, it was actually at Liberty University, not even the University of Virginia. So really, Ponder has no excuse for wearing this crap. What a traitor. Beyond this, I don't really know or care all that much what other players did. I think Jamarca Sanford left tweets about going south, someone else went to Florida, many players stuck around for the Taste of the Vikings this weekend including Peterson, Harvin, and others, and then there was Blair Walsh who went with maybe-girlfriend Rayven Tirado (does reporting for the Atlanta Falcons or something like that?) to a Georgia Bulldog game over the weekend. He also ate a stadium hot dog for the first time, so there's that. In conclusion, **** was boring, and at this point I'd much rather see the team hire strippers and boat cruises again. That type of behavior I could at least cheer on, you know? Oh well. Back to football. [follow]
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