Found November 20, 2012 on
In The Neutral Zone:
Kansas City Chiefs
New York Jets
New England Patriots
Louisiana Tech Bulldogs
Welcome to the First Annual Black Friday Sale at Arrowhead Stadium. Around Kansas City Fridays use to be called “Red Friday” but since these clowns can’t seem to even run a play, let alone win a game, it’s now Black Friday. Step right in and check out these lack-luster items we are slashing the prices on.
Matt Cassel: Need a quarterback? Hell so do we…cause this guy couldn’t hold onto balls at a hernia check. He’s a career backup, and guess what kids, he plays like it. It’s rumored after games with the Jets and the Raiders Carson Palmer and Mark Sanchez tell Matt to go get them some fresh Gatorade. He couldn’t find the endzone if the Chiefs Cheerleaders lined up on the goal line butt naked. In honor of black Friday we are letting this guy go for free. Hell we will even help tie him down to your roof for transport home. Also available in Brady Quinn.
Eric Winston: It’s horrible, it’s disgusting. Of course we are talking about his blocking ability and not his post-game tirade. Winston couldn’t block a wiffle ball rolled by a toddler on the living room floor. New and improved features include instant concussion generator for your quarterback. We’re letting him go cheap. Buy one Winston and we will throw the rest of the O-line in free. Brandon Albert not included.
Dwayne Bowe: He doesn’t want to be here and we don’t want him to be here. This guy couldn’t catch the flu in Hong Kong. Buy this guy and we will turn it into a LSU Triple Pack and throw in Glenn Dorsey and Tyson Jackson. That’s 3 #1 draft picks all from LSU at a Louisiana Tech Price.
Steve Breaston: The invisible receiver. He can’t catch passes because the quarterback can’t see him. Every now and then he decloaks just to drop a pass. He is a question wrapped inside an enigma. Buy one Breaston get one Terrance Copper free.
Scott Pioli: We may not have any Cobra Commanders, but we have something close. This guy is the bane of evil, dismantling good things and bringing gloom and depression to the Midwest. Pure evil is an overpriced suit. We are letting him go for free, but warning does not work well without Bill Belichick.
Romeo Crennel: If we charged by the pound you couldn’t afford him. Look at him though, so cute, so round. Like a chocolate Winnie the Pooh. Nice enough guy, but lacks the ability to be the head coach. Hell the 72 Dolphins would have went 1-11 under this guy. Bring a trailer and a crane if you want to take this guy home. Recommended diet of candy is suggested.
Clark Hunt: The apple fell so far from the tree with guy, we aren’t even sure he is an apple because he sure as hell isn’t red. If interested in buying the Clarkster, call ahead, cause most of the time we can’t find him. He is so quiet and kept in a warehouse in Texas that often he gets lost in our inventory.
**Please remember when coming to our Black Friday Sale that Jamal Charles and Derrick Johnson are not for sale. They are missing pieces to a better machine and we are going to hold on to them.
BEST OF MAXIM
AROUND THE WEB
Eric Edholm of ProFootballWeekly.com believes the Kansas City Chiefs will likely move on from quarterback Matt Cassel after this season. They clearly don’t believe in him after benching him in favor of Brady Quinn.
All signs pointed to the Chiefs parting ways with QB Matt Cassel at season’s end, but that became all but certain when he was yanked from the Chiefs’ loss Sunday...
A 65 year-old Kansas City Chiefs fan named Ronald Hall has been charged with assault and armed criminal action after shooting a man in the face while they were watching the Chiefs game this past Sunday.
Court documents state Hall, his son and several other men gathered at a Lee’s Summit house on Sunday to watch the football game.
Hall’s son told police everyone at the gathering...
I knew at 1-9 the Kansas City Chiefs were bad, but I didn’t know they were deadly.
The Chiefs are undoubtedly the worst team in football. It took until Week 11 against the Bengals for them to hold a lead in any game this season, which lasted all of six minutes or so before Cincy came back to take the lead, and the game 28-6. The whole damn franchise is a mess, the team is a train...
Brady Quinn is getting another shot on the Kansas City Chiefs' quarterback merry-go-round.
Coach Romeo Crennel announced Wednesday that Quinn will start Sunday's game against the Denver Broncos, regaining the job he lost when he sustained a concussion against Oakland.
Quinn was cleared to play last week against Cincinnati and came on in the second half for the ineffective...
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) Chiefs coach Romeo Crennel laid out for his team Monday exactly what it will take to end their seven-game losing streak and then questioned whether the solution is even possible.
"We know we have to fight. We have to do everything in our power to be the best we can be, to be perfect," he said during a break in meetings. "That's what I told...
Kansas City Chiefs coach Romeo Crennel announced Wednesday that Brady Quinn will start at quarterback Sunday against Denver. Quinn returned last week from a concussion he suffered in an Oct. 28 loss to Oakland, replacing Matt Cassel in the second half of Sunday's loss to Cincinnati. Cassel will remain on the bench. Crennel gave Quinn his first start since the 2009 season...
Loren G. “Sam” Lickteig of Grandview, Missouri died last week at the age of 81.
His obituary in the Kansas City Star lists the cause of death as “complications from MS and heartbreaking disappointment caused by the Kansas City Chiefs football team” (emphasis mine).
According to MSN, Lickteig had several Chiefs shirts in his wardrobe and wore red ones when the Chiefs...
The Kansas City Chiefs' play on the field leaves much to be desired but who knew that rooting for the team was deadly? That was the case for one Loren "Sam" Lickteig whose recent obitiuary cast some of the blame for his death at the Chiefs' feet.
I always say, "If you're gonna go, might as well take some people out with ya," and it looks...
Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Dwayne Bowe left yesterday’s
game against the Cincinnati Bengals with a neck injury, reports the Associated Press.
Bowe sustained the injury when he landed hard on the turf
after leaping to make a catch. He was checked by trainers on the sidelines, hit
the locker room for further evaluation and ultimately returned to the bench
without his helmet...
Last week: 31 (+0)
I used to think the Chiefs were better than the Jaguars, but I don’t really think there’s any difference between the two now that Brady Quinn is going to be the Chiefs’ starting quarterback; in fact, the Jaguars might even be better if Chad Henne can establish himself as clearly better than Gabbert (he had a great game last week, but he’s known...
KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Loren "Sam" Lickteig led a fulfilling life -- a loving wife and family, a stint in the Air Force, a career as a real estate broker and a spell on the city council. But in passing, he's now become a part of Kansas City Chiefs lore.
"Oh, he would've loved it," Lickteig's son, Jake, told FOXSportsKansasCity.com when asked about his...
Way back in August, I did a statistical look at how Todd Haley’s offenses have fared in past years. The results were mixed, but the only time Haley had approaching the level of offensive talent as he has had this year was in 2008 with the Super Bowl runner-up Cardinals. Now is a very good time to look at how the offense has fared so far, because with Ben Roethlisberger out for...
(Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)
The decision has been made: Brady Quinn will start at quarterback for the Kansas City when the Chiefs host the Broncos this weekend.
“I like his leadership qualities,” Chiefs Head Coach Romeo Crennel told DenverBroncos.com. “He has experience with a couple different teams and he’s seen a couple different things. I think that will bode well for...