Originally written on In The Neutral Zone  |  Last updated 11/5/14
Welcome to the First Annual Black Friday Sale at Arrowhead Stadium. Around Kansas City Fridays use to be called “Red Friday” but since these clowns can’t seem to even run a play, let alone win a game, it’s now Black Friday. Step right in and check out these lack-luster items we are slashing the prices on. Matt Cassel: Need a quarterback? Hell so do we…cause this guy couldn’t hold onto balls at a hernia check. He’s a career backup, and guess what kids, he plays like it. It’s rumored after games with the Jets and the Raiders Carson Palmer and Mark Sanchez tell Matt to go get them some fresh Gatorade. He couldn’t find the endzone if the Chiefs Cheerleaders lined up on the goal line butt naked.  In honor of black Friday we are letting this guy go for free. Hell we will even help tie him down to your roof for transport home. Also available in Brady Quinn. Eric Winston: It’s horrible, it’s disgusting. Of course we are talking about his blocking ability and not his post-game tirade. Winston couldn’t block a wiffle ball rolled by a toddler on the living room floor. New and improved features include instant concussion generator for your quarterback. We’re letting him go cheap. Buy one Winston and we will throw the rest of the O-line in free. Brandon Albert not included. Dwayne Bowe: He doesn’t want to be here and we don’t want him to be here. This guy couldn’t catch the flu in Hong Kong. Buy this guy and we will turn it into a LSU Triple Pack and throw in Glenn Dorsey and Tyson Jackson. That’s 3 #1 draft picks all from LSU at a Louisiana Tech Price. Steve Breaston: The invisible receiver. He can’t catch passes because the quarterback can’t see him. Every now and then he decloaks just to drop a pass. He is a question wrapped inside an enigma. Buy one Breaston get one Terrance Copper free. Scott Pioli: We may not have any Cobra Commanders, but we have something close. This guy is the bane of evil, dismantling good things and bringing gloom and depression to the Midwest. Pure evil is an overpriced suit. We are letting him go for free, but warning does not work well without Bill Belichick. Romeo Crennel: If we charged by the pound you couldn’t afford him. Look at him though, so cute, so round. Like a chocolate Winnie the Pooh. Nice enough guy, but lacks the ability to be the head coach. Hell the 72 Dolphins would have went 1-11 under this guy. Bring a trailer and a crane if you want to take this guy home. Recommended diet of candy is suggested. Clark Hunt: The apple fell so far from the tree with guy, we aren’t even sure he is an apple because he sure as hell isn’t red. If interested in buying the Clarkster, call ahead, cause most of the time we can’t find him. He is so quiet and kept in a warehouse in Texas that often he gets lost in our inventory. **Please remember when coming to our Black Friday Sale that Jamal Charles and Derrick Johnson are not for sale. They are missing pieces to a better machine and we are going to hold on to them.
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Bruce Jenner: "For all intents and purposes, I am a woman"

Report: Angels, Rangers talking Josh Hamilton trade

Roger Goodell calls both Los Angeles stadium plans 'viable'

Five-star hoops star Malik Newman commits to Miss State

Crabtree on joining Raiders: 'Ain't got nothing to lose'

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Report: Hardy gets in 'verbal altercation' with teammate

NFL exec compares Jameis Winson to JaMarcus Russell

Report: Chris Sale wanted to fight Yordano Ventura

NFL does not care about Rams' future in St. Louis

Eagles VP Ed Marynowitz says he's not Chip Kelly's 'yes man'

Jonathan Papelbon wants out of Philadelphia

5 most boring NFL prime time matchups for 2015

Steve Carell, Emma Stone to star in Bobby Riggs-Billie Jean King film

Calipari’s new project: Create virtual reality experience for fans

Maurice Jones-Drew will retire with the Jaguars on Tuesday

Ovechkin jokes about taking a chair from Nassau Coliseum

Uniform colors have already been picked for Vegas NHL team

Golden State: Not losing to New Orleans, but still snoozing

Ventura, Royals need to simmer down before someone gets hurt

The Mets and their weak opponents

Report: Gronk dating former Patriots cheerleader

Nothing gleams like late-round draft gold

The Ultimate All-Living MLB Team

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

5 boring NFL prime time matchups

Bruce Jenner: "For all intents and purposes, I am a woman"

Jameis Winston vs. Marcus Mariota: Perception vs. reality

Report: Gronk dating former Patriots cheerleader

NFL exec compares Jameis Winson to JaMarcus Russell

NFL does not care about Rams' future in St. Louis

Nothing gleams like late-round draft gold

The Ultimate All-Living MLB Team

Dubs wanted to gain momentum for Game 4 ... then won

Teams who need to ace the NFL Draft

10 bold predictions for the NFL Draft

Ten things you need to know about Mayweather vs. Pacquiao

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.