Originally posted on In The Neutral Zone  |  Last updated 11/20/12
Welcome to the First Annual Black Friday Sale at Arrowhead Stadium. Around Kansas City Fridays use to be called “Red Friday” but since these clowns can’t seem to even run a play, let alone win a game, it’s now Black Friday. Step right in and check out these lack-luster items we are slashing the prices on. Matt Cassel: Need a quarterback? Hell so do we…cause this guy couldn’t hold onto balls at a hernia check. He’s a career backup, and guess what kids, he plays like it. It’s rumored after games with the Jets and the Raiders Carson Palmer and Mark Sanchez tell Matt to go get them some fresh Gatorade. He couldn’t find the endzone if the Chiefs Cheerleaders lined up on the goal line butt naked.  In honor of black Friday we are letting this guy go for free. Hell we will even help tie him down to your roof for transport home. Also available in Brady Quinn. Eric Winston: It’s horrible, it’s disgusting. Of course we are talking about his blocking ability and not his post-game tirade. Winston couldn’t block a wiffle ball rolled by a toddler on the living room floor. New and improved features include instant concussion generator for your quarterback. We’re letting him go cheap. Buy one Winston and we will throw the rest of the O-line in free. Brandon Albert not included. Dwayne Bowe: He doesn’t want to be here and we don’t want him to be here. This guy couldn’t catch the flu in Hong Kong. Buy this guy and we will turn it into a LSU Triple Pack and throw in Glenn Dorsey and Tyson Jackson. That’s 3 #1 draft picks all from LSU at a Louisiana Tech Price. Steve Breaston: The invisible receiver. He can’t catch passes because the quarterback can’t see him. Every now and then he decloaks just to drop a pass. He is a question wrapped inside an enigma. Buy one Breaston get one Terrance Copper free. Scott Pioli: We may not have any Cobra Commanders, but we have something close. This guy is the bane of evil, dismantling good things and bringing gloom and depression to the Midwest. Pure evil is an overpriced suit. We are letting him go for free, but warning does not work well without Bill Belichick. Romeo Crennel: If we charged by the pound you couldn’t afford him. Look at him though, so cute, so round. Like a chocolate Winnie the Pooh. Nice enough guy, but lacks the ability to be the head coach. Hell the 72 Dolphins would have went 1-11 under this guy. Bring a trailer and a crane if you want to take this guy home. Recommended diet of candy is suggested. Clark Hunt: The apple fell so far from the tree with guy, we aren’t even sure he is an apple because he sure as hell isn’t red. If interested in buying the Clarkster, call ahead, cause most of the time we can’t find him. He is so quiet and kept in a warehouse in Texas that often he gets lost in our inventory. **Please remember when coming to our Black Friday Sale that Jamal Charles and Derrick Johnson are not for sale. They are missing pieces to a better machine and we are going to hold on to them.
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: Eagles interested in bringing back Nick Foles

Report: Manning hinted to teammates he plans to retire

Barry Sanders shares thoughts on Megatron retirement talk

Report: Marshawn Lynch told friends he is retiring

WATCH: K-State players storm student section after big win

Tony Dungy coaches his way into Canton

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Top eight takeaways from NFL Honors awards

Report: Austin Rivers out 4-6 weeks with broken hand

Brett Favre Hall of Fame discussion took less than 10 seconds

WATCH: Pop wishes Kobe well in heartfelt message

Eric Berry named NFL Comeback Player of the Year

Cam Newton to be named NFL MVP

WATCH: Kerr told Warriors he was happy to have close game

Broncos could have tough decision with franchise tag

WATCH: Steph Curry does 'Dab' on court on eve of Super Bowl

Another star confirmed for Super Bowl 50 halftime show

WATCH: Wayne Simmonds loses his cool, earns match penalty

Winners and losers from 2016 Hall of Fame vote

Brett Favre, Tony Dungy headline Hall of Fame Class of 2016

Terrell Owens says he was not elected to Hall of Fame

Bruins prospect hit in throat with puck, taken to hospital

WATCH: Mavs rookie laughed at for trash talking Spurs bench

Norris Cole has No. 30 retired with LeBron James, New Orleans Pelicans in attendance

Three keys to victory for the Broncos in Super Bowl 50

Torrey Smith: ‘This is probably the best offense’ for Kaepernick

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Report: Marshawn Lynch plans to retire

The 14 biggest plays in Super Bowl history

Five outrageous predictions for Super Bowl 50

QUIZ: Name the winning starting quarterback from every Super Bowl

The top six matchups that could decide Super Bowl 50

Seven unheralded players set to make major impacts in SB 50

10 underrated performances in the NBA Slam Dunk Contest

X-factors in Super Bowl 50

NHL nightmare: No Canadian teams in playoff hunt

QUIZ: Name the Super Bowl halftime performers since 1991

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker