Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 1/22/13

NEW ORLEANS - JANUARY 24: Adrian Peterson #28 of the Minnesota Vikings runs for a 19-yard touchdown in the first quarter against the New Orleans Saints during the NFC Championship Game at the Louisana Superdome on January 24, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
Lauded sports journalist source, The Onion, has broken an exclusive story about one of the Minnesota Vikings - and the NFL's - most popular players, running back Adrian Peterson. In a statement released this week, Peterson has confirmed that in order to be prepared for the 2013 NFL season, ready to come back better than ever and not only break Eric Dickerson's single season rushing record but to CRUSH it, he has intentionally tore the LCL and PCL in his knee in hopes that a repeat of the injury will bring a repeat of 2012's success From the breaking news report: Hoping to improve upon the remarkable feat of rushing for the second most yards in NFL history a year after tearing his ACL in the final week of 2011, Vikings running back Adrian Peterson announced Sunday that he has intentionally torn his ACL again and will undergo reconstructive knee surgery later this week. “It worked last year on the left knee, so I’m trying the other one this year,” said Peterson, whose intense dedication to offseason recovery has earned him the reputation of “rehab rat” among his teammates. “It’s hard to get over that playoff loss, but immediately after, I got right back to work and tore my ACL. If I was just eight yards short of the record last year, I’m thinking that rupturing my LCL and PCL this offseason should put me over the top.” Peterson, who confirmed that he had found the best postseason regimen to stay on top of his game, announced plans for a new football camp where the Pro Bowl running back will show young players the best way to damage their knees by hacking away at their ligaments with scissors. As a Vikings fan, I am excited to hear this wonderful news. With two devastating knee injuries in such a close time frame, and with the results of one knee injury already in the bag, fans should expect nothing but the best in 2013. The best news? Peterson's dedication has encouraged other players on the roster to get back to "what worked" for many of them: - Harvin has vowed to smoke more weed and have more temper tantrums - Phil Loadholt, if resigned, promised he WILL eat the lowest drafted rookie in 2013 - Christian Ponder said he'll stop this whole marriage thing and go back to being a bachelor, and playing shirtless - Leslie Frazier promised to take a hat tip, resign from his position to become defensive coordinator, and hire anyone else as head coach but Brad - John David Booty promised to come back to Minneapolis to do something, but he forgot what it was, was pretty sure it had to do with Funyons though, and maybe hanging out at the Russian Art Museum before heading to Ely during the cold to hunt Sasquatches, but he's not sure. In other words? Super Bowl in 2013 or bust. [follow]
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Mets’ trade for Carlos Gomez called off despite reports

Report: Rangers to acquire Cole Hamels from the Phillies

WATCH: Tulo hits first home run with Blue Jays

NFLPA officially files Brady lawsuit, wants QB to play Week 1

Mariota’s lack of red flags was a concern for NFL teams

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Tigers are officially “rebooting”

Jerry Jones backs Roger Goodell amid Deflategate controversy

Brady, agent contacted AT&T in attempt to retrieve deleted texts

Report: Chancellor 'strongly considering a camp holdout'

Colts become favorites to win AFC with Brady suspended

Dodgers reportedly acquire Mat Latos and Michael Morse

Former NBAer Vin Baker now works at Starbucks

Can Preller fix the mess in San Diego?

Mike Leach compares Deflategate to Kardashians

All Panthers home games will also be broadcast in Spanish

Giants owner calls Pierre-Paul debacle ‘very disappointing’

Panthers WR cited for marijuana paraphernalia, had child in car

Bruins-Canadiens Winter Classic details announced

Jay Bruce and Carlos Gonzalez: Twin trade chips

Next summer's top 10 NBA free agents

Canseco will live as a woman to support Caitlyn Jenner

Giants owner says nobody from team has seen JPP's hand

Conor McGregor admits he's intimidated by Ronda Rousey

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Can Preller fix the mess in San Diego?

Next summer's top 10 NBA free agents

Who is the NL's new top shortstop?

Cardinals HC Bruce Arians calls Jen Welter a 'trailblazer'

Mets still act like a small-market team

Tom Brady: I did nothing wrong

NFL upholds Tom Brady's suspension, legal battle likely

Cardinals hire first female NFL coach

Larry Bird: Michael Jordan would kill me in 1-on-1 now

Seau family: HOF broke their word

Kobe to see time at power forward next year

Mike Pettine not ruling out Manziel

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker