Originally written on Losers Bracket  |  Last updated 11/18/14

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - SEPTEMBER 19: Aaron Hernandez of the New England Patriots runs through a tackle from David Harris of the New York Jets during the first quarter at the New Meadowlands Stadium on September 19, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images)

7/10/2012 – The New England Patriots Weight Room

Aaron Hernandez:  I’m tellin’ ya, Tom.  I really think I’m going to have a break out season this year.  I know Rob gets all the hype, but I think if you start looking my way more often, I could really surprise some people.

Tom Brady:  Huh? Ohh, umm, that’s nice Aaron.

Hernandez:  Seriously dude, I mean it.  I really think I can make some things happen if coach puts me in a little more and you just start looking my way.  I was talking to my mom about it the other day, and she really thinks I can score a lot if I get more chances.

Brady:  That’s weird, but yeah, I guess we’ll just see what happens.  Just keep working hard, buddy.

Hernandez:  You know what?  I don’t think you’re taking me seriously, but I’m serious.  Here’s watch this.

Hernandez drops to the ground and does 10 pushups.

Hernandez:  There!  Did you see that?!  10 pushups in no time!  While Gronk has been out there drinking and doing sex with girls all off-season, I’ve been in here working hard to get better!  I’m going to be great!

Brady:  Umm, I-

A pint glass comes flying in through the door of the weight room and shatters on the wall behind Hernandez, soaking him with beer.  In walks The Gronk.

 

 

The Gronk:  Cover of The Body Issue, mother *******!

Hernandez:  What the hell?

Brady:  Brosef Stalin!

The Gronk:  Sup, Bro Montana!?

Brady and The Gronk give each other a bro-hug.  Real bro like and chill too.

Hernandez:  Come on, you guys.  This is a place of business.  Some of us are trying to get our lift on in here!

The Gronk:  Oh, ****!  Sup, *****?  I didn’t even see you there.  You must have been hiding behind all of those cartoons that you drew on yourself.

Hernandez:  For your information, Rob, these are tattoos, and they all have special importance to me.  And I’m not a *****, I’m a pro athlete just like you.  But I’m actually working to get bigger and stronger this off-season, unlike somebody here!

The Gronk throws a copy of “The Body Issue” at Hernandez.

The Gronk:  Check that **** out, *****.  Does it look like I need to do anymore work on my body?!  I was carved out of the very image of Bro-Zeus himself!  The only work I need to be doing right now is between the sheets, on the beach, in the hot tub, in the basement of a frat house, on a Boston rooftop, or where ever else the next piece of hot, young tail leads me!

The Gronk and Brady exchange a bro-five.

Hernandez:  Are you two serious?!  You’re just lucky I’m working so hard in here so that if you get hurt, I’ll be there to fill the void.

The Gronk:  Whatever, douchsicle.  Dude, Bro-Brady, you should have seen this ****, dawg.  A couple of months ago, I was down in Aruba and these two pieces of pure ass fell right into my lap.  They said they were 18, but I heard one of them talk about getting her license when she got home after I finished bangin’ em both.  I have no idea how old they actually were, but that **** happened in Aruba, so who ******’ cares, bro?!

Hernandez:  Ugh, that’s just sick.

The Gronk:  Now you’re gettin’ it!  It was ******’ sick!  Railin’ tail, drinkin’ ale!  The bro-life, bro!

Brady:  God damn I wish I was young again!  Now I’m tied down by my 2nd model-wife and a ******’ family at home.  I wish I could still bro-down with you out there, but you’re just going to have to do double duty for me.

The Gronk:  Aww damn, bro.  That would be so sick!

Brady:  I know, I know.  Oh well.  I’m outta here.  Later, Brosef!

They exchange one more super-chill bro-hug.  Brady leaves.

Hernandez:  Umm, Rob, you know, if you’re looking for somebody to “hit the town” with, I don’t have anything going on tonig-

The Gronk: [Sticks his fingers in his ears.]  La La La La La I can’t hear you, bro! La La La La La La…

The Gronk walks out of the locker room with his fingers in his ears as he continues to make noise.

Hernandez:  [sighs]

The Gronk pokes his head back into the weight room.

The Gronk:  Oh, yeah.  You can keep The Body Issue.  It’ll give you something to aspire to.  Besides, I’ve got a mirror so I can look at that **** all day long.  *****!!!

The Gronk leaves.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Aaron Hernandez's fiancee disposed of box after murder

Byron Scott: Opposing players say they want to play for Lakers

Falcons reportedly will lose pick over pumping in crowd noise

Report: Sam Bradford wouldn't sign extension with Browns

Jimbo Fisher: Winston is victim of ‘character assassination’

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Russell Wilson on contract: 'It's going to work out'

Kentucky seeks one kind of history, Coach K makes another

Matt Stafford's fiancee rips newspaper over article

Craig Sager's leukemia has returned

Frozen Four: Providence earns first bid since 1985

Report: Discussions to bring NFL team to L.A. are progressing

Tiger Woods drops out of top 100 for first time in 19 years

Top 10 stories from NCAA Tourney's second weekend

The MLBPA has a problem

Final Four preview: How can every team win?

WrestleMania 31 results: Rollins cashes in, Rousey appears

Five soon-to-be NBA free agents with a lot on the line

WATCH: Russell Wilson hits home run during Rangers BP

Hooked 'em: Why Texas had to fire Rick Barnes

Adam Morrison trolled fan who made JJ Redick comment

Jim Harbaugh finished fourth in student government election

WATCH: Notre Dame gets warm reception upon return home

WATCH: Kris Letang hospitalized after hit

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Hernandez's fiancee disposed of box

Mayweather-Pacquiao: It's sparring tall-tale season

The MLBPA has a problem

Final Four preview: Can every team win?

Full WrestleMania 31 recap and results

Why Texas had to fire Rick Barnes

Craig Sager's leukemia has returned

Report: Chris Mullin to take St. John's job

Report: NFL looking into more cameras

CC Sabathia goes off about spring stats

John Fox: Cutler will have to earn job

Texas eyeing Shaka Smart, Gregg Marshall?

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.