Editor’s Note: This is a parody column that will run on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. In it, WE will answer reader’s questions as “Don Harry,” a one Mr. Cherry’s more redheaded (and sane) alter-ego. Enjoy!
“Dear Don Harry: If I was sending cupcakes to Brendan Shanahan, what flavor laxative do you think he would most enjoy? – Mandy from Calgary”
HEEEEY THEYRE MANDY! HOW YA DOIN. FIRST OFF I JUST WANT TO SAY TO ALL YA AMERICANS OUT THERE THAT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YA BECOME ENGAGED TO A GOOD CANADIAN GIRL. CUPCAKES!! ANYHOOSER NOW TO YER QUESTION. I’VE NEVER HEARD OF LAXATIVE BEFORE BUT I THINK YA MAY BE TALKIN ABOUT LAX? AS IN, LACROSEE OR WHAT EVER ITS CALLED, WHICH IS THE NATIONAL SPORT OF CANADA? SERIOUSLY, HOW CAN LACROSEE BE THE NATIONAL SPORT OF CANADA? WE ONLY CARE ABOUT HOCKEY. THIS IS ALL ABOUT TARANNA! WHO’S TARANNA’S LACROSEE TEAM? THAT’S RIGHT! IT’S A CRIME, I’M TELLIN YA, A CRIMEEEE!!!! (RIPS OFF TIE)
“Dear Don Harry, I’m really looking to sett