Hogwash and Poppycock

Reports surfaced yesterday that the Minnesota Wild were offering a package that included Mikko Koivu, Nick Schultz and Tyler Cuma to Ottawa for Dany Heatley and a sack of potatoes. Anyone who has an ounce of sense, including my 9 year old son, knows this to be a made up rumor. Here is my exchange with said 9 year old:Me: Someone is saying the Wild may trade The Captain for Dany Heatley.Son: That's crazy. Heatley's a dork. Mikko rules!Me: That's my boy.Let's step out of realty for a moment and assume this report is true. Mikko, Schultz and Cuma for Heatley. I would immediately stop talking Wild hockey on this blog and turn it into a Giada DeLaurentis fan site, burn my Wild jerseys and consume large quantities of alcohol.But back to the point, it's not true. I wouldn't deal Koivu for Heatley straight up. Don't get me wrong, Heatley is a very good player. I would offer the Sens anyone on the roster save Mikko and Burns. Heck, offer a package of Schultz, Shep...