Originally written on Barry Melrose Rocks  |  Last updated 11/6/11
Toronto_maple_leafs_b7ba

Hello Tim, the guy from the Tim Horton's Ad I dressed up as for Halloween, 

 

Special thanks to @DasNordlicht91 and @kid_kawartha for the still.

I’m sorry if my costume was offensive. It was kind of an inside joke with me and the other Leafs guys.  They kept buying me Tim Horton’s coffee (even though I don’t really drink coffee) and asking me about a BELT. I know the B stands for bacon, but also that sausage is equally tasty.  Also, I had maybe an hour to think up and make my costume.  I ended up late to that party.  I HATE being late to anywhere if I can help it. 

To be honest, I think you and other construction guys are doing a swell job here in Canada. Everybody needs roads and buildings and I’m sure you’re doing a bang-up job in between starring in commercials.  You can point to something after you’ve finished and say “I helped build that.”  No matter what I do, you’ll always have that, unless your building gets torn down or catches on fire or something.

You say I’m better looking and more successful than you, but that’s just not true.  I mean, I can’t run a crane, or whatever construction thing you do.  I also can’t grow a beard that’s as thick or as red as yours, so that’s a plus!  I’m sure it gets cold working construction, and that beard is great for keeping your face warm.  My beard isn’t nearly as good for that.
 

I can see you’re frustrated and mad, and I understand.  I wasn’t trying to be mean—I really do care about the construction workers everywhere, who work on heavy machinery and do dangerous work to make things we all take for granted.  You all deserve a special day and—wait…was that a middle finger at the end? Dion Phaneuf keeps telling me it’s a Hawaiian good luck sign, but I have a sneaky suspicion that it’s not a very nice gesture.  If that’s so, I’ll be awfully steamed that you were so rude to me on YouTube.

What’s this? An apology?

I accept your apology, Tim Horton’s guy.  You have seen the error of your ways, and God really appreciates that.  Maybe sometime, we could go out for donuts or something. Get to know each other beyond this silly Internet rivalry.  Gosh darn it, I think we could even be friends.

Hold on…DID YOU END YOUR VIDEO WITH “GO HABS?”

That kind of malarkey is just unforgiveable.  Darn it.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Adam Eaton gets 4th of July surprise from brother

Clippers in talks with JaVale McGee, Amar’e Stoudemire

Report: LeBron won't negotiate with Cavs until Thompson is signed

Andrei Kostitsyn interested in return to NHL

Blazers fire assistant who said Aldridge was leaving team

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Miguel Cabrera lands on DL for first time in his career

LaMarcus Aldridge chooses to sign with Spurs

WATCH: Serena Williams wags finger at Wimbledon crowd, says, 'Don’t try me'

Report: Rajon Rondo headed to Sacramento Kings

Dez Bryant deal with Cowboys could be announced Monday

Brandon Saad, Ryan O’Reilly sign long-term contracts with Columbus, Buffalo

Kosta Koufos agrees to deal with Kings

Report: Blues in trade talks about Kevin Shattenirk

Report: Gregg Popovich plans to fulfill five-year contract

4-Star LB commits to Kentucky, zings Louisville

Clay Buchholz not worried about trade rumors

All hope isn't completely lost for this year's Milwaukee Brewers

Roy Hibbert likely being traded to Lakers

WATCH: Pablo Sandoval falls over railing during catch

Report: Packers TE charged with firing a gun in Miami

Kawhi, LaMarcus, the mid-range and the Spurs' next epoch

How can Rafael Nadal regain his dominance?

NBA Rumors: Cavs and Spurs vying for David West

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Russell Wilson 'would definitely consider' playing for Mariners

Solo, Rapinoe among USWNT stars up for World Cup awards

LBS on Sports Jeopardy! Here's how how it went

College football's 35 most patriotic helmets

A brief history of non-star All-Stars

With Love retained, the Cavs can take care of LeBron

Grading the deal: Davis commits to Pelicans

Obama Administration: Change name if Redskins move to D.C.

Deciding what the All-Star Game means

Odell Beckham Jr. offered professional baseball contract

Orioles keep finding a way to win

Lloyd sends USWNT to World Cup final

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.