Originally written on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 1/12/12

DENVER - NOVEMBER 08: Dustin Penner #27 of the Edmonton Oilers awaits a faceoff against the Colorado Avalanche during NHL action at the Pepsi Center on November 8, 2009 in Denver, Colorado. The Oilers defeated the Avalanche 5-3. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Game #44

LA Kings 
(21-15-7, 15th in NHL)
vs
Dallas Stars
(23-17-1, 16th in NHL)

Season Series Tied 2-2

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS THAT NOW PLAYS IN HARTFORD, CT:


BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:
Defending Big D
Stars of Big D

BEST OPPOSITION TO FOLLOW ON TWITTER:
DamnitJason
(Because he loves Dustin Brown's game)

Late yesterday afternoon, I saw this curious tweet from LA Times sports reporter, Lisa Dillman:

And then a few hours later... that old-school media known as "newspapers" picked up on the story.

Last Tuesday, on the first Kings’ off day in a while, Darryl finally moved into his new place – Murray’s house, as it happens. That happens all the time when players get traded – they swap houses as well – but not as frequently among coaches. His wife and son will come down to Los Angeles during the all-star break, but they are otherwise staying behind in Calgary so Christopher can finish Grade 12.

And then Rich Hammond confirmed it.

Terry Murray is now Darryl Sutter’s landlord. Murray returned East after being fired by the Kings last month. Sutter needed a place to live. Perhaps finding farmland tough to come by in the greater Los Angeles area, Sutter connected with Murray and arranged to rent his house.

So new Head Coach Darryl Sutter is renting old Head Coach Terry Murray's house in the South Bay? I'd like to think that Terry Murray's last day in his house before turning it over to Sutter went something like this. 

"Red" was obviously Marc Crawford.

But the biggest news from yesterday was Dustin Penner's open letter to LA Kings fans in regards to the recent Pancake-Gate controversy. From Mayors Manor:

So it seems as though I need to address Pancakegate for those in the sports media world, as well as those following #pennercakes on twitter, in light of the recent phenomenon I've created.

Right off the bat, I'd like to clarify a few things. 

For example, they were vegetarian pancakes. The injury happened as I was sitting down to eat, not mid-bite. And yes, I did finish them. 

There has been some feedback from the media as a whole regarding the lack of transparency involving injuries. So, I decided to be candid.

First and foremost, I think we can agree that having delicious pancakes that your wife made for breakfast, for a 1pm game, is not out of the norm. Secondly, "SOBS" (Sudden Onset Back Spasms) can occur at any moment, doing just about anything you can think of, and is a very serious issue.

Those who have experienced "SOBS," know it is no laughing matter. I'm a little hurt, to tell you the truth, that the plight of my people isn't being taken seriously.

Frankly, I don't mind the attention and there's no such thing as bad press, right? Apparently, I made it onto ESPN's 'Around the Horn' and joined Kings' ATH alumnus Dustin Brown (see water bottle incident) and have also became a twitter sensation overnight (with hashtag #pennercakes). So, I'm hoping to get an endorsement from IHOP or Denny's. 

The main thing here though is that we were able to bring attention to a serious issue like "SOBS" and hopefully find a treatment and unmask the mystery of it all.

In closing, for those who know how to laugh and find humor in life I hope they've enjoyed this as much as I did. 

In an effort to end the entire experience on a high note, I'm partnering with MayorsManor to sponsor a 'Pancakes with Penner' breakfast. In the weeks to come we'll be setting up a special raffle. Fans will be able to purchase tickets for $1.00 for a chance to have a pancake breakfast with me. All the money raised will go to charity...while we enjoy some delicious pancakes!

In a similar way in which the opposing party responds to the State of the Union... The Official Royal Half Speechwriter, Brian, has prepared an in-depth rebuttal to Dustin Penner's statement. I present it, unedited, below.

Dear Mr. Penner,

While we enjoyed reading your post and appreciated your alleged candor about Pancakegate, we at the Royal Half believe your convoluted story and jibber-jabber is nothing but a smokescreen to get the non-mainstream media off your spasmy back.

First off, you describe what your incredibly hot wife made as “vegetarian pancakes.” Your wife may be smokin’, we’re not sure what she’s smoking because there’s no such thing as “vegetarian pancakes.” (Unless of course, she usually chops up bacon and sausage and throws that **** in there, then in that case... she’s a keeper.)  Pancakes are flour, baking powder, white sugar, milk, eggs, and butter.  If your wife made “vegan” pancakes, then that is an entirely different story because those pancakes are sans butter, milk and egg.  How do I know this?  I live with a vegan.  My wife is a vegan.  Mr. Penner, you sir, are no vegan.

Secondly, your “appearance” as a topic on “Around the Horn” this week is far from boast-worthy.  Your coach just made a cameo on “Saturday Night Live” and you’re psyched about a mention on “Around the Horn"?!?  But besides that, let’s face the facts, Pancake Boy:  “Around the Horn” is a weaker (and far less worthy) spin-off of “Pardon The Interuption,” which frankly, should be your goal to make.  Having Woody Paige mock you isn’t nearly as exciting as getting 1 minute and 30 seconds of Mike and Tony’s time.  (Hint: slip on a waffle, then burn your hand making French toast for the trifecta... and I guarantee you a spot on PTI.)

And finally, your case of “SOBS” may be some sort of joke, but there’s still thousands of diseases out there in need of dire attention, like Tobias Funke’s awful case of “TBA.”  If you hold a pancake breakfast for anything, it’s for Mr. Funke, who is in dire need of a cure.

Mr. Penner... Pancakegate has been a boon to your profile and IHOP’s profits. Instead of scoring points with your wife and winning her heart by complimenting her pancakes, you should be scoring points for your hockey team, the LA Kings, and winning the fans’ hearts.

Sincerely,

The Royal Half

Strong words from our own Brian. But if you know Brian, you know the motto he lives by;

PRIDE=PASSION=PANCAKES

Finally... guess who's back?

Another gem from loyal reader, Tim.

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Segway cameraman apologizes for running down Usain Bolt

Do the Miami Dolphins finally have a coach worth fighting for?

Drew Storen wants a trade this winter – and he’ll likely get it

Kobe Bryant: ‘I Was An Idiot When I Was A Kid’

Anthony Davis wants gold medal more than NBA MVP

Report: Ronda Rousey’s last fight topped 900,000 PPV buys

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Rose issues statement denying sexual assault allegations

Giants’ rookie Tomlinson blasts a grand slam for first MLB home run

Coughlin treats training camp-weary Giants to ‘spa day’

Wilson: Comments about miracle water ‘perceived wrong’

Ryan Mallett missed Texans practice after oversleeping

Report: Barry Bonds loses collusion case

Nick Mangold assists cops in car burglary crime wave

Heat owner proposing Miami Vice-type uniforms to fans

Robert Griffin III is hilariously injury prone in Madden 16

How much did Felix Hernandez solve?

Winners and losers from the sports world: August edition

Is it safe to say Justin Verlander is officially back?

Melvin Upton Jr. channels Willie Mays with catch

John Elway talks up Colin Kaepernick: ‘I’ve always liked Colin’

Enrique Hernandez falls down trying to hit Aroldis Chapman pitch

How the Chicago Cubs are swinging

WATCH: McElwain surprises six players with scholarships

LeBron James gives shout out to writer recovering from surgery

Frank Gore calls Andrew Luck ‘football God’

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

August's winners and losers in sports

How the Chicago Cubs are swinging

Report: Barry Bonds loses collusion case

Packers smart to sit Rodgers for rest of preseason

Towns is perfect for today's NBA

The Opening Drive: Utah alum Jordan Gross is fed up with the HarBros

Five greatest NBAers without a ring

Exactly how bad is the NL East?

Five potential college football Week 1 shockers

Top 10 storylines for Week 3 of the NFL preseason

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker