Originally posted on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 4/2/12

Game #80

LA KINGS
39-27-13
91 pts, 3rd in Western Conference
vs
EDMONTON OILERS
32-38-9
73 pts, 14th in Western Conference

Oilers lead Season Series 2-1

7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
PRIME TICKET

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS THAT IF HE HAD STAYED WITH THE KINGS
THIS SEASON HE WOULD BE THE KINGS 4TH OVERALL SCORER AND TIED FOR 3RD IN GOALS:

 

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
JeanShorts and BaggedMilk
Oilers Nation
Oilers Jambalaya
Lowetide

ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE PLAYOFFS?
YES.

It's another Monday night game for the Los Angeles Kings... and I'm totally unprepared for a Gameday Thread. Thankfully, Brigitte over at One Girl, One Puck has a brand-new edition of her column that is sweeping Kings Nation... "Know Your Opponent." And with this weeks post, we now know that Brigitte is a perfect fit for The Royal Half... because she makes fun of Indiana Matt!!!

Click Here to Check Out "Know Your Opponent" for the Kings vs Oilers Game on Monday, April 2nd!!!

I'm gonna be honest... I don't know a lot about the Oilers. I know that they've been eliminated from the playoffs, which means they suck. I know that they have a ton of young players who are pretty damn good, yet they still manage to be terrible. I also know that Ryan Smyth plays for them because he cried like a ***** this summer. Whatever. Ryan Smyth is old, and is pretty much useless unless he's within 3 feet of the net. Even then he just stands there and lets pucks hit his stupid ******* giant stick blade. Ryan Smyth sucks. You knows who's better than Ryan Smyth? Mike Richards. Even though Richards has been a ghost since coming back from a concussion, I'd still take him over Smyth any day. Why? Because you know who's sexier than Ryan Smyth? Mike Richards. So what, I'm shallow, you should know this by now. That's pretty much all I know about the Oilers. Instead of actually having something witty to say I made terrible photoshops of Mike Richards making Ryan Smyth cry. Eat your heart out Indiana Matt!

 

 "Look at this idiot! He requested a trade TO Edmonton. Haha, what a dumb ****."

  

"You see this chart here shows how many blow jobs I've gotten since I've been in LA."

  

At least this Carter and Richards double team won't leave anyone with herpes. Hopefully.

  

"Hey guys check it out! We didn't even need to shove him he just went in the locker by himself! What a loser!"

  

Love, Dean Lombardi.

 

"Why don't I look like Mike Richards? If I looked like Richards I bet people would love me."

 It's OK though Ryan I'm sure your new teammates love you. I mean what's not to love? That stupid hair, dumb face, and non-stop crying are really quite attractive. Right Taylor Hall?

  

"Yea umm...you're on your own Ryan. I've got my own issues to work on over here."

So that's it. The Oilers are bad, the Kings should beat them. Seriously, if they just show up their odds are pretty good. Also, try not to slip and fall on Ryan Smyth's tears, we need you guys healthy.

Oh yea, here's a shirtless picture of Mike Richards. Because I can.

 

I love you Mike Richards.

MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: Indians, Orioles had discussed Manny Machado trade

Report: Anderson threatened to sexually assault cop's wife

Tom Brady has 'just a cut' near knuckle, needed stitches

NFL determines Raiders complied with Rooney Rule

Report: Todd Haley wants to be Cardinals’ offensive coordinator

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Kemba Walker would be ‘devastated’ if Hornets trade him

Foles ‘wanted to retire’ after spending a year with Fisher

New study: NFL concussion protocol won’t protect players from CTE

ESPN’s Michelle Beadle blasts ‘obnoxious, misogynist’ LaVar Ball

Tim Tebow invited to major league spring training with Mets

Jeff Fisher enjoying success of former QBs Keenum, Foles

Sports & Politics Intersect: Nassar's victims put USA Gymnastics, MSU on trial

The 'One of these things is not like the other' quiz

Top 25 times franchise players have changed scenes in MLB

The best college hoops game to watch down the stretch

NHL Weekender: Kings, Leafs heading in the wrong direction

NFL Championship Weekend Predictions: History will be made in the NFC

Devin Booker is expanding his game beyond getting buckets

Greatest NFL Conference Championship moments ever

Top 10 X-factors for Conference Championship Games

Case Keenum deserves better than the also-ran description

Best performances in the history of NFL Conference Championship games

15 underrated NBA players having tremendous seasons

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Yardbarker Privacy Policy and Terms of Service. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Sports & Politics Intersect: Nassar's victims put USA Gymnastics, MSU on trial

Top 25 times franchise players have changed scenes in MLB

The 'One of these things is not like the other' quiz

The best college hoops game to watch down the stretch

NHL Weekender: Kings, Leafs heading in the wrong direction

The 'Baby I'm a (All-)Star' quiz

Devin Booker is expanding his game beyond getting buckets

Ranking baseball's GMs entering the 2018 season

NFL Referee Hotline Bling: The Saints miss an important long-distance call

Johnny Gaudreau, Flames hope layoff won't cool them down

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker