LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER

Sexy Friday: Grab the keys and let’s get out of here.

Tumblr Not sure about you guys, but I’m ready to grab the keys and the hell out of here and have a weekend. Stay out of the heat, try out a new bar for some fancy cocktails, see a movie. Six more weekends before football begins, means it’s crunch time for finishing up projects around the house before we completely give up for the season.  Don’t worry though, Sexy Friday is...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Klearinghouse: Pouncey Twins being sued for assault, Browns “alarmed” by Manziel

- Breaking news out of South Florida this afternoon: Mike and Maurkice Pouncey are being sued for damages in relation to a fight that happened at their birthday party on South Beach. The claimants say the Pounceys and their security detail hurled homophobic slurs at one of their party, began to fight and repeatedly punched and kicked him while he was in the fetal position before...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Joe Flacco Learns To Swear From Terrell Suggs

Joe Flacco was quiet. He didn’t know why carefully removing his slacks from his suitcase, unfolding them then refolding them before he put them in drawer was so soothing to him, but it was. Remove pants. Shake pants out. Fold pants. Remove pants. Shake pants out. Fold pants. Their creases were perfectly aligned. For a $120.6 million Joe wanted to make sure the team knew he would...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

KSK Mock Draft- Your worst football moments

Peanuts In honor of the new trailer for “50 Shades of Grey” making its debut, we’re going to indulge in a little masochism of our own for this mock draft. We’re selecting the worst memories that we have, whether it be taking a helmet straight to the nuts in Pop Warner, or the recollection of a certain catch that was made by a certain new member of the Giants’ front office...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

The Jaguars EverBank Field Pools Are Ready

Reddit The Jaguars have added a pool to EverBank Stadium for this season and they look like they’re filled and ready to go… For soccer? Well, two out of three isn’t bad. You have a pool, a view and hey, are Jags fans really prepared to watch Blake Bortles staring over the shoulder of Chad Henne for the next two months waiting to start? Maybe a nice match of soccer will ease...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

How to Draw Jay Cutler

DrawPlayDave Previous Drawing Lessons! How to Draw Tom Brady How to Draw Andy Reid How to Draw Peyton Manning 
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Best Week/Worst Week: Local Reporters and Weed Enthusiasts

RG3 wearing one black cleat. One white. #Redskins pic.twitter.com/7PHVTRO0wV — Dianna Marie Russini (@NBCdianna) July 24, 2014 There is nothing that local sports reporters love more than the start of NFL training camp. After a long summer of baseball and staring at the sun until it hurts, local reporters get to report on the stuff that matters. It’s basically camp for them...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Who wants cleaner (beer pong) balls this tailgate season? Clean Cup Does

Kickstarter Half the fun of going to football games is tailgating beforehand, and a good 20-30% of the fun at tailgates is found in spirited beer pong games. Except, as anyone who has played beer pong in a dirty parking lot just a few feet away from a Port-a-Potty will tell you, it’s pretty disgusting to play. One enterprising engineering student is looking to clean up everyone’s...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

KSK Mailbag: Roger Goodell is a misogynistic piece of garbage

Pardon the ol’ video up top of yours truly, but I spent most of my day being pissed at Roger Goodell and the NFL for the slap on the wrist they gave Ray Rice for punching his now-wife unconscious. If you or I or any other NFL fan knocked our fiancée out on camera in front of witnesses, we’d be looking at jail time and the unemployment line. Ray Rice gets a two-week suspension...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Who needs a nice story about some puppies?

Getty Image Well too bad, because you’re not getting one here. Remember last week when the Cleveland Browns announced they were going to replace Chomps, a person in a dog suit, with Swagger, a live bullmastiff? Sounded like a cute story. Dog runs out with players onto the field, dog hopefully doesn’t take out any mini horses on the way, maybe we all get a laugh if it pees on...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Better Know a Former Backup QB: Steve Bono

In order to get you through the drudgery of the off-season, we here at KSK are cranking up the nostalgia machine and looking at some of the immortal backup quarterbacks in NFL history. You’ve loved some of these guys, and utterly ******* loathed others, but you definitely remember them. Either way, you might be wondering what they’ve been up to since leaving their clipboard duties...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Vikings Mike Priefer Apologizes For Remarks, Bringing Shame to the Vikings

Getty Image Bad news beat day continues today as the Vikings Mike Priefer apologized today in his first public remarks since his suspension was announced by the league last week. According to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, Priefer opened with the following statement: I’d like to start off by saying that I like to set a higher standard for myself — a higher standard of conduct...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

The All-Hair Metal Arena Football League

Getty Image Earlier today, it was announced that Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil would be purchasing in Arena Football League team that will play in Las Vegas.  He will reportedly call his team the Las Vegas Outlaws, which is stupid because: A. It was already the name of an XFL team B.  Gene Simmons already has the L.A. Kiss – why not counter with the Las Vegas Crue. It has...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

White History Month: Jen Selter

Instagram I dont think its a overstatement at all to say that Jenn Selter is the modern day equivelent of Rosa Parks. Jen is a online celebrity and fitness model all do to the fact that shes got a butt that could launch a thousand ships. What Eminem and Elvis Presley did for rap music, Jen has done for monetizing her big ass. Shes a busnesswoman or as I call her- a entremanure. But...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

This Week In F*ck You: #longreads

  In the immortal words of our own PFTCommenter: if your going to write 33,000 words about ANYTHING Im going to hate whatever you wrote about. You could write 33k words about cold beer and I would never want to drink again because you made it all not fun any more with all of youre words.  So. Let’s talk about #longreads and their cousins, #thinkpieces. We’ve all read them...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Ray Rice Suspended Two Games For Assault

Getty Image Yes Ray, that’s two games you’ve been suspended. Remember back to right after the arrest his attorney called it a “a very minor altercation” and then TMZ managed to get the video of Rice uppercutting his then-girlfriend and dragging her unconscious body around a hotel in Atlantic City? And this terrible apology happened? Getty Image Janay Rice says she deeply...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Klearinghouse: Sidney Rice, Pat Bowlen and everyone else we will miss this season

Getty Image Eventually a trickle of information becomes a flood, which means we need to open the valve and release the building pressure from the KSK causeway. Not everything lends itself to a large takedown or a dick joke (introduction to this piece aside) and this the Klearinghouse was born. - Sidney Rice announced his retirement from the Seattle Seahawks this afternoon after...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
4 days ago  |  Discuss

Introducing the KSK scale of NFL sadness

Via Waiting For Next Year College football has its polls. Other sites have their power rankings. But at KSK, we like when people suffer; it brings them down to our level. So, on the eve of the opening of training camps, we’re introducing our new KSK Scale of Sadness, tracking – or, rather, wallowing with – the saddest teams and fan bases in the league through camp, preseason...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
4 days ago  |  Discuss

Kill Kill Kill: Mercy rule for the already dead

Sometimes you stumble upon a battle where the victor has already triumphed but still has to finish the game before moving on. Much like the Germany-Brazil semifinal, this match is long over but we have to see it out until the end just to make sure one side can go free, safe from injury. The insult of course being the Dutch — the wolves in this video — looking to scrounge on...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
4 days ago  |  Discuss

Which is longer? The 2014 NFL Season or the Simpsons marathon

Fox Thanks to our pals Burnsy and Danger Guerrero over at Warming Glow, we have been alerted to the dangers of the Simpsons marathon — that’s all 552 episodes from all 25 seasons back to back to back over the course of 12 days —  running on FXX later this month. According to FXX and our colleagues, this marathon could very well destroy the very fabric of society.   But...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
4 days ago  |  Discuss

Kommentariat Komments of the Week: July 16 – 22nd, 2014

KSK Since Ape is on holiday, Sarah is in charge and your roll call names in the Weekend Klearinghouse all earn a gold star (especially WhyEaglesWhy’s “Olav Myfriendsaregay”) from the interim judge, myself, the honourable Phil McCracken. As Carl Spackler said in our customer service draft this week: “BTW, ‘I’ve had these **** for 20 years and I’m pretty sure I know...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
4 days ago  |  Discuss

A Sneak Preview Of Select NFL Training Camp Schedules

Getty Image NFL training camps finally open this week. That means large men on small bicycles! And pillows from home! Peter King in a poorly ventilated RV! And occasional football related activity!!! LOLNFL will return next week. In the meantime, we have an exclusive look at what you can expect to see from some of your favorite teams as they arrive at camp. Via Fanpop Day 1 4 am...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
4 days ago  |  Discuss

A sneak peek at Chris Kluwe’s new book

DrawPlayDave   Chapter list: 1. Tutorial chapter that everyone skips2. Epic Fail, the Vikings bigot story3. I used to be a punter like you, but then I took discrimination to the knee4. Butthair Gobbling Taint Suckers5. Why Twilight Sparkle is the best pony6. Socially Awkward Penguin Haikus7. Released? Right in my feels8. Can I haz Karma now? How to make Reddit blindly follow...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss

Eli’s Letters From Training Camp #1: Dear Big Brother Peyton – HELP! NO CRAYONS

Getty Image Dear Big Brother Pey-TON: How is camp? I know you haven’t started yet but by the time you get this letter you’ll be at camp so you can answer then. Do you like your bunkmates? Did they give you a mini fridge? Did you see the mini fridges the Purple Murples got? The mini fridges have arrived at #VikingsCamp! Only 6 more days. pic.twitter.com/BaeLc3UIOs — Minnesota...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss

Tony Dungy clarifies his position on Michael Sam: “I forgot to say ‘no offense’ “

Americas Coach Tony Dungy has been the latest victim of the PC Media facing sexual discriminaton from the Lamestream after saying that he wouldnt of drafted Michael Sam because of some reasons he failed to elaborate on. Well consider Dungy a sellout because today he backpedaled faster then Tony Dungy in a lockeroom shower when Mike Sam walks in. He clarfied his remarks today: I...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss
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