LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER
‘But We Let ‘Em Off the Hook!’ Your Week 9 Early Game Thread
3 hours ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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A rundown of today’s early games. Check the TV distribution maps at the 506 for local coverage.
Cardinals at Bears — The last time these two teams met, Dennis Green’s Buzzsaw jumped all over an error-prone Rex Grossman (SIX turnovers! Let’s see you do that...
Sexy Friday Is Sexier Than Usual
1 day ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I’m a fan of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders’ iconic uniforms, with the boots and the tassels and the puffy sleeves and the hey hey hey. But if they were to permanently changes over to Daisy Dukes and cutoff plaid shirts, I don’t think I’d be able to complain...
What a Surprise.
1 day ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Whoa, whoa, whoa… tickets are still available to the Lions-Seahawks game this Sunday because Detroit fans aren’t going to make the trip? But this is the weekend’s premiere matchup between a 1-6 team and a 2-5 team! Hell, the last time these two teams faced off, the...
Always Be Covering: Where ‘Perfect’ Is a Relative Term
2 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Now that I’m done poring over photoshops of Andy Reid’s face on some of the internet’s more iconic images I can return my focus to gambling. Sweet income-sapping gambling. You’ll help me get rid of all these nasty bills, won’t you? Yeah, you’ll...
2004 Draft QBs With Fewer Rings Than the Giant Tard Taken Several Picks Later. WHO YA GOT?
2 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Elisha and Marmalard will forever be inextricably linked as the top two quarterbacks selected in the 2004 NFL Draft, but more so because they were swapped for one another because Eli Manning is a prissy little bitch who refused to play in San Diego. Also, they’re both tremendously...
The Andy Reid O-Face Photoshop Contest: Honorable Mentions
2 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Submitted by Nick-A-What.
Submitted by Terdell Sands.
Submitted by our very own Christmas Ape.
Submitted by Skins.
Submitted by Retom Granks.
Submitted by Purple Moses.
Submitted by Tanner.
Submitted by starksgotejected.
Submitted by watzgerald.
Submitted by Istvan.
Submitted by famousmortimer...
The Andy Reid O-Face Photoshop Contest: And the Winner Is…
2 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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…Grimey! It was tough to pick one winner from all of those submissions, but Grimey’s won out in the end. Continue after the jump for some additional awards…
A special .gif award goes out to the estimable LSU Freek for this entry…
The volume award goes to...
I Work the Angles, Sharp and Precise: The KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Time again for the KSK sexbag, the weekly feature that combines flex positions and sex positions, PPRs and STDs, running back handcuffs and the ones you use on the freaky coworker.
This installment runs kind of long, as I compiled most of it during the World Series game last night...
Andy Reid O-Face Photoshop Contest Update: Pfah Isn’t Messing Around
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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The photoshopper who first inspired this contest is back with his second entry, and it’s pretty fantastic. Then again, I’m a sucker for anything that reminds me of the glorious Beaker In DC meme. There have been numerous other submissions, including 20 from one extremely...
Untitled
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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SUICIDE POOL UPDATE: 244 people are still perfect through eight weeks; that’s about 18 percent of our original suicide poolers. And yeah, there’s a better-than-average chance that there will be more than one competitor standing when we run out of regular-season games. If...
GIANTS SACK! GIANTS SACK! GIANTS FACKIN’ SACK!
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Well, well, well. I should’ve known you Philadelphia faggots wouldn’t be able to get the FACKIN’ JAWB DONE against those GAWDDAMN FACKIN’ NEW YARK CAWKSACKAHS! Nevah send a boy to do a BAWSTON MAN’S JAWB!
(spits randomly)
You let us down, Pedro. You were-ah pitchin’...
This Sign Would Be More Effective If Done In Needlepoint
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Courtesy of reader Tim Tebow’s Girlfriend’s Tits comes this sign, apparently posted outside the Chiefs locker room. And now you know why Todd Haley is the lamest coach in the history of everything ever. THAT’LL LEARN YOU GOOD, LARRY JOHNSON. THERE’S NO STOPPING...
Untitled
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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EPISODE 21. GAME SIX AND A HALF. PUNTE and Brandon run through the issues of the day before making NFL picks with special guest “Gordon” and playing the “lost” interview with Jelisa Castrodale of The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy, (she’s also on Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook...
Hines Wald — He Who is Uncrean!
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Hines Ward: I am no berieve peeper say that numbell one smaltest leceivel arso numbell one dilty prayer.
Clazy! This not having sense. Evelytime, I am making pray extla crean. No othel prayer in reague make pray as crean as I make pray. Give smirre upon compretion of selvice. You...
Andy Reid Shows Off His O-Face
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Yesterday’s LOLNFL featured one particularly delightful picture of Andy Reid on the receiving end of a celebratory bump from second-year wide receiver DeSean Jackson. A reader (who goes by Pfah) immediately recognized the image’s potential as Photoshop fodder and got to...
Sentences we thought we would never write: “Ted Ginn, Jr. is your Meast of the Week.”
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I know, I know… I’m as surprised as any of you, but yet here we are. What a crazy old world. Ginn became the first player in league history to score two 100+ yards touchdowns of any type in a game. And hoo boy, is he fast. Watch…
Just. Wow.
Are you kidding me? [...]
LOLNFL: Favre Bowl Special Edition
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Images via Yahoo! Sports and Sports Illustrated
Fun With… Bill Simmons?
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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We get a lot of requests every week to do FJM-style breakdowns of Bill Simmons’ columns. We largely avoid this because A) Peter King is more fun to poke fun at, B) It takes about seven seconds before Simmons trolls pop into the post and tell you what a HATURRRRRR you are, C) We [...]
THIS GUY, He’s a Surgeon With Outstanding Generalship, This Guy
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Jon Gruden exemplified MAXIMUM DENSITY during his performance in the booth tonight. THIS GUY – he’s an outstanding proliferator of FOOTBALL PLATITUDES. First, he started in by saying that Drew Brees is “The Surgeon.” Much like Peyton Manning, another OUTSTANDING...
Feel the Chill of an Icy Brees
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Kkakefish etouffee
Curse these likable Saints!
You know how I know that New Orleans won’t win the Super Bowl this year? Because it would be way too acceptable to the average viewer. Of all the teams that could possibly contend for a title this year, the Saints are the only one...
A Monster With the Head of a Lion and the Jacked-Up Knees of Owen Daniels
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Matt Schaub: Hey man. I heard the news. Try not to get too bummed. You’ll bounce back, I know it.
Owen Daniels: It sucks. And at the worst possible time too.
Matt Schaub: Yeah, yeah, I know. We had finally climbed above .500 mark. I still hope we can make something of this...
Peter King And The Throbbing Groin
6 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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When we last left championship cake baker Peter King, he was 20 minutes late to a live chat over at Deadspin, then proved a rather good sport with most of the questions. I’d like to congratulate Big Jim Slade for asking Peter how the Bowers were doing. Peter’s response was a simple, [...]
Brian Russell Shouldn’t Have a Job in the NFL of the Week
6 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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For those of you who might be wondering, “Could the Seahawks have made Tony Romo look any better yesterday?” the answer is YES: they could still be starting Brian Russell at free safety. He’s too slow and too weak for the NFL, and I dare an NFL team to sign him...
Your Sunday in Review: No One Cares About the World Series, Especially Dan Levy
6 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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We abandoned the the Friday Five based on your overwhelming desire to see scantily clad women you could easily find on a Google image search, but because we are loath to abandon established ideas, here are five things we enjoyed about the Sunday that was. There would be more, but...
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