LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER
It’s Never Too Late For Sexy Friday
20 hours ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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On a day where our very own Matron Saint was implicated in a tawdry scandal, I think we all deserve a hot injection of Adriana Lima into our evening. Thanks to reader Crista for the pics. WOOHOO!
(more mildly NSFW after the “yump”)
Always Be Covering: Especially If Your Daughter’s Love Hangs In the Balance
1 day ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Welcome back for another fun week of poorly thought out wagers. While you’re sitting there reading this I’m locked in a very large warehouse counting a lot of stuff while trying to limit my dust intake. Good times. Anyway, I was able to find three of the world’s...
“Officer, Don’t You Know Who I Am?”
1 day ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Billy “I Own Four TV’s” Simmons had an article detailing the Pats 4th and 2 call from Sunday Night. It contains the usual assortment of Simmons arguments that he deems irrefutable. But forget all that. Look at this:
Seattle loves me for defending its Sonics after...
Maharishi Dungy Will Clense You of Your Wickedness. WHO YA WORSHIP?
1 day ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Yesterday it was announced that Tony Dungy will head the Players Advisory Forum, a group that will serve as a intermediary between players who want to bitch and the league executives who want to ignore them. Already committed to the cause is a religious nut (Kurt Warner), a phony...
Because Miami and Carolina is Execrable, Let’s Klear Out More of This Kontent
1 day ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Here’s the NFL Play 60 ad with Breesus and Polamalu cavorting and capering on the South Lawn of the White House that will air beginning Thanksgiving weekend. C’mon Troy, I know you have a PCL sprain, but you should be able to cover a middle aged socialist Mooslim.
Here...
In Which Readers’ Lives Play Out Like Popular Films: the KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Advice Mailbag
2 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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We had some great questions submitted after lunch today, and that’s too bad, because the bulk of the mailbag is always written the night before. Wednesday, people. That’s the best time to submit questions.
Now, on to the mailbag! Some compelling stuff this week, including...
KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: “Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.”
2 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Laura here is in her first season with the Cincinnati Ben-Gals cheerleading team. At 41, she is also the oldest cheerleader in the league. Admirably, she has refused to let age stand in the way of her desperate, desperate need for attention. Sorry, that’s a really mean joke; actually...
Untitled
2 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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THIS FACKIN GREEK FAKE-HISPANIC BITCH IS RAWPONSIBLE FAH ALL OW-AH SAWFFERING! That’s right, everybody. Put down all the statistical analyses proving that Belichick did actually make the correct decision by trying to convert the 4th and 2. Turns out, the Patriots were fated to...
The Most Fearsome Wedding Procession Ever
2 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I cry for this couple’s future children. Hell, I weep for all of us. Thank goodness we’re all gonna be wiped clean from the Earth in 2012. Because, really, once you see a bald, schlubby white groom do the spastic Ray Lewis “dance” to greet friends and family...
Hey there fella, Glanville wants to coach your football team!
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I hear your lookin’ for a new football coach. Shoot fella, this is your lucky day. It just so happens that, after much careful reflection, I have decided to draw a curtain on my distinguished college coaching career and return to the scene of my greatest triumphs, the NFL!
Hey fella...
Week 10 Meast and Least: The Season for Illness
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Someone at my gym was telling me about a guy who went into the hospital with back pain; he told the doctors he was afraid he had spine flu. And that’s not a joke. That apparently really happened, according to the second-hand story that I’m now making a third-hand story...
LeBron: I Could Be A Really Good NFL Receiver
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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LeBron James loves football, attention. LeBron James still pines for the sport he left behind in high school, and he’s not too humble to tell people he could still be a “really good” receiver in the NFL. Of course James isn’t stopping there. The Cleveland Cavaliers...
Untitled
3 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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NO DICK, WE’RE NOT HIRING. Dick Jauron was fired by the Buffalo Bills yesterday. And yet Charlie Weis is free to graze around South Bend without so much as a cattle prod. Too bad for Jauron; his teams always seemed so well-prepared. And they had such depth. And they routinely...
LOLNFL: Week 10
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Image courtesy of NY Post via Upstate Underdog
Here’s some more of this lovely young woman for your enjoyment…
Now I don’t have any funny caption for this last picture, but…
Images via Yahoo! and SI unless otherwise indicated.
The Pitter Patter of Little LaToeFeet
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Donovan McNabb: Damn, man. You couldn’t have waited one more week to get your form back? What got into you?
LaDainian Tomlinson: Wife got pregnant.
Donovan McNabb: How does that work?
LaDainian Tomlinson: sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex
Donovan McNabb: And then?
LaDainian...
I Will Not Be The Team Switchboard
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Wade: Gosh dangit. We had to go and ruin a perfectly good four-game winnin’ streak by strollin’ into Green Bay and layin’ a darn egg! Ugh.
Well, guess I better get to work. We got those pesky Redskins comin’ in this week, and I know darn well they’ll [...]
What If Tobias Fünke Had Directed Brett Favre’s Wrangler Commercial?
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Wrangler Really Tiny Jean Shorts – watch more funny videos
Well then it would almost certainly look just like this, only with a few more homoerotic double entendres. [Funny or Die]
Maybe This is Tirico’s Way of Celebrating Sesame Street’s 40th Anniversary
4 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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It makes you wonder how Flacco didn’t make this post.
The Browns are hanging with the Ravens through the first quarter, even if that isn’t likely to continue. Making Bawlmer burn their entire complement of first half timeouts in eight minutes will probably be the top Cleveland...
Electrolytes Out!
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Or, alternatively: X MARKS THE RAPIST.
Yes, that’s Shawne Merriman with the logo for something called POWERADE ION4 shaved into the side of his head, because who wants Brent Celek to get away with being the biggest guerrilla marketing ***** in the NFL? Puhlease. Who’s...
Not So Fast – There Are Annoying Yinzers to Mock, Too
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Everyone got so swept up in Patriots chokery, it’s like they forgot all about Steelers schadenfreude. Yesterday the Bengals essentially locked up the AFC North by completing a sweep of the Steelers thanks to getting one of those unglamorous tough slog victories that the Steelers...
Untitled
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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NOW THAT IS A LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT FOR LONG-TERM EMPLOYMENT! THAT IS OUTSTANDING BOILERPLATE LEGALESE! I’M GONNA CALL THIS GUY “THE NEGOTIATOR” Why, God, whyyyyyyyy? F*ckface cliche machine Jon Gruden has reportedly agreed to a long-term deal to remain in the...
In Which We Interrupt Peter King To Make Fun Of Dipsh*t Boston Fans
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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When we last left professional groin watcher Peter King, he was growing up before our very eyes, stomping all over poor Taylor Swift’s red dress with his size 14 circus feet, and finding himself entranced by Peyton Manning’s words. Oh, Peyton Manning’s words and stories. I could...
FACK YOU, INDY!
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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YOU GAWT LUCKY! BELICHICK SHOULD HAVE BEEN REWAHHHDED FAR HIS BAWLLS! HE’S SETTING YOU UP FAR THE NEXT GAME! WE WERE-AH THAH BETTAH TEAM! NO ONE DENIES THIS! I SECRETLY SAW THIS COMING!
Andrea Kremer Has a Lot of These Damn Gimp Jackets
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Week 4, a rhapsody in blue
Week 10, a regal purple nerple
GIVE US THE RAINBOW OF YOUR ZIPPER FETISH! YOU WILL LIGHT THE FIELD ON FFFFIIIIIAAAAAAHHHH
The Most Overhyped Regular Season Game of the Year That Doesn’t Feature Favre
5 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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BRADY ASKS FOR A ROUGHING PENALTY ON EVERY PLAYKKAKE
The epic Bill Belichick-Jim Caldwell blood feud is renewed in this, a contest bound to be sorely lacking in superlatives about the quarterbacks involved. But there are so many other intriguing storylines aside from the obvious QB...
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