LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER

NFL Schedule Release Live Blog: Who gets Saturday Football Back?!?

Somewhere along the line during the prolonged wait for the 2014 NFL schedule, it started to be a thing at the cool kids table to say they didn’t care about schedule release day. Zero ***** given. Too far away. There’s baseball and hockey and basketball and Champions League and episodes of “The Americans” to catch up on, DOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN’TTTTT CAAAAAAAAARRRRREEEEE...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
13 hours ago  |  Discuss

NFL Schedule Release Spoilers

Today is NFL release day. Have you already reserved your NFL Release Day booth at Buffalo Wild Wings with appropriate Pepsi products? You should! But if for some reason you can’t make it out for the big celebration, KSK has you covered.- NFL releases a schedule of schedule releases to coincide with every day of the NBA Playoffs because Mark Cuban had to open his big mouth.- Chiefs...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
19 hours ago  |  Discuss

KILL KILL KILL: Training Camp Fight

You like to see a little species on species mixing it up. Really toughens up the entire wilderness. Gives scorpions the fierceness they need to take it out on the competition. In this case, you might say the fight goes too far because one of them ends up dying, but too bad, that’s why they invented non-guaranteed contracts.
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
20 hours ago  |  Discuss

Kommentariat Komments of the Week: April 16 – 22

Trying to pick the best comment from Cheesy Names For The New Packers Dating Site would harder to do than picking a favorite star from the night sky, the best nacho on the plate or even the greatest guitar cord ever strummed. It would be impossible. Every comment made us laugh harder than the next, a truly glorious day in KSK Kommentariat history. When pointing new readers to the...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
21 hours ago  |  Discuss

Better Know A Draft Pick: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

Getty ImageFirst name: Ha’SeanLast name: Clinton-DixCurrent nickname: Ha HaOld nickname: LOLFuture nickname: [laughing emoticon]How to remember his name: Imagine laughing at Bill Clinton’s penis.Height: 6’1″Weight: 208 lbsPosition: Free safetyCollege: Roll damn laughterHigh school: Dr. Phillips High School in, home of the strangest logo in central Florida.Other famous alumni...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
22 hours ago  |  Discuss

Owner Khan has a problem with the Jacksonville market

Getty ImageJaguars owner Shahid Khan had some rich man’s real talk for the business community in Jacksonville during a luncheon at the Jacksonville World Affairs Council, which is apparently an organization that is focused on getting the citizens of Northeast Florida to become better informed participants in the global community. Good luck with that.To a question about Jacksonville...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

SRRY BOUT TXT BILL. HERE IS UR BILLS HOODIE.

(via Getty Image)Even in the offseason, the Buffalo Bills find a way to have tragically ludicrous and ludicrously tragic events befall their franchise. This week, they were forced to settle a class-action lawsuit for $3 million dollars from fans who were angry that they received too many texts. That probably sounds ridiculous already, but you may be wondering just how many extra...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

Tim Tebow Is An SEC-Speed Lumberjack. Let’s Photoshop Him.

Working out with @TimTebow. #OperationBiceps pic.twitter.com/VxVtENNo33— Jase Robertson (@JaseDuckman) April 21, 2014One of those guys from Duck Dynasty that didn’t get kicked off the show spent Easter Monday with Tim Tebow, and now we have this: the most Tim Tebow picture ever tweeted, featuring Tebow taking an axe to a tree that… actually, the more you look at it, doesn...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Nice Work, Draftniks

Do you need another reminder that draftniks don’t know ****? Nope, probably not, but here’s a fun one anyway: Sam Monson of PFF found this list of top prospects for the 2008 Draft in a game late in the ’07 season. Haha, Brian Brohm. He played in three NFL games.– ESPN will get to televise a Wild Card game and NBC will get a divisional round playoff game this season. Honestly...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

The Death of Pat Tillman, 10 Years Later

Getty ImageIt was April 22, 2004 that former Arizona Cardinals safety Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan by friendly fire from a fellow Army Ranger when Tillman’s platoon was in the process of assisting fellow Rangers who had been ambushed when their Humvee broke down in the mountains.What’s most tragic perhaps is that the cause and aftermath of Tillman’s death have overshadowed...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

49ers Fans Freak Out Over Seahawks-Colored Train Seats Because The Off-season Is Long And Dull

San Francisco’s Bay Area Rapid Transit – more commonly known as BART – is installing some new trains. There’s just one problem; the seats on these trains happen to be blue and green – the colors of the Seattle Seahawks, the Niners’ most hated rival over the past few years. As a result, these new trains are causing a lot of outrage from angry football fans who don’t...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Some lunatic designed a U.S. Airways model plane vibrator

And that lunatic is me folks.Thats right with little to no REAL sports goign on during the NFL off season (even though there technicaly is no off season in the NFL), my leasure time pursuits lead me elsewhere. And this week it took me to a place that even I thought Id never go- designing and trademarking sex toys.By now we’re all familiar with what happened with US Airs twitter...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Peter King Says Drafting A Quarterback In 2014 Is Nerve-Racking For The First Time Ever

[via]When last we left Thursdayish Monday writer, Peter King, he was consulting his favorite source, anonymous cowards in NFL front offices, to say bad things about Jadeveon Clowney. Meanwhile, he was talking up Tom Savage as the hottest rising star in the draft purely on the fact that Savage’s agent mentioned that his client has a lot of planned meetings with teams. Later in the...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Special Report: Defending the Shield with Nancy Grace

Nancy Grace: Good evening, ladies and geeeentlemen. Tonight, it’s time to address ah SCOURGE, ah TRAGEDY that threatens to consumer our every breath in deep darkness: the ongoing deterioration of America via the arrest of players from the NATIONAL FEWTBAWL LEAGUE. Most atrocious is the REPREHENSIBLE BEHAVIOR of TWO members of the San Francisco 49ers football squad, Chris Culliver...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Bridgewater at 33? The Mock Draft Industrial Complex Strikes Again!

The other day, I was lying in bed at 1:30 in the afternoon like the lazy slob I am, when something on ESPN’s ticker caught my eye. The sentence read “33. Houston Texans – Teddy Bridgewater – QB (Louisville).” Wait, what? Bridgewater’s going to the second round now?! We care about Pro Days THAT much. Well, apparently that’s how Kiper has this going down in his latest...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Johnny Football Is Johnny Water Sports

While much of the country was taking the holiday weekend looking for chocolate eggs left by a zombie rabbit, Johnny Manziel was busy with the business of being Johnny Football. Saturday morning, a private workout for the Cleveland Browns. Saturday afternoon, catching long bombs from his bros while tooling around on a jet ski.It seems like just yesterday that I was singing Manziel’s...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Sexy Friday Dooooooooonnnn’tttt Caaaaaaarrrrrrreeeeeeee

[via]Sorry, time for Kristen Cavallari to move on. I don’t care if she and Cutler have kids together. Who dares stand in the way of fate?Happy weekend, all. Use it well. [via][via][via][via][via][via][via][via][via][via][via][via][via][via][via]
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss

Meet Palcohol: Powdered Alcohol, Just What Your Tailgate Needed

Attention all tailgaters, the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau has approved powdered alcohol according to Bevlog, a beverage industry law blog. That’s right, powdered alcohol you can add to your food, your drinks, or you know, just put in your mouth like Pop Rocks and let the magic happen.Meet Palcohol, the substance that is talking directly to football fans in their copy...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss

30 Weekends Without Football: Eli Manning Down, Darren McFadden To Go

Wait, ten weekends down and only twenty more to go before kickoff? When did this happen? Has it been that long since the last offseason Mood Watch?  While I was down all week, mostly because this extended time before the draft is possibly the most annoying time on the NFL schedule and anyone uttering the phrase “moving him down my draft board” should get a banned from talking...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss

KSK Mock Draft: CANDY

FACT: 60% of all Easter candy (and 100% of marshmallow peeps) get put into the pantry every year and stay there until next Easter. We here at KSK are combatting that by starting the definitive candy mock draft so that you can plan your Easter purchases accordingly.With only two rounds completed, there are lots of good ones that we left off. Let us know how dumb we are in the comments...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss

Alternate Movie Versions of Draft Day

So that NFL Draft movie came out last weekend and proved once and for all that Kevin Costner is only good at baseball movies. The movie was typical sports drama fluff. Simplification of technical aspects and exaggeration of drama. EVERYONE IS MAD AT EACH OTHER! Kevin Costner is a rebel GM without a cause! Of course he tricks two teams into making incredibly dumb trades that no team...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss

Best Week/Worst Week: Redskins Fans and John Idzik

“Put Kevin Sheehan on the phone.”Didja hear the news about RGIII? He’s back, baby. ‘Tana said so himself! He finally got that daggone brace off of his knee, and he’s takin’ COOCH Gruden straight to the SOOPER BOWL.And ya know who he’s workin’ out with over at the Lifetime Fitness? COOOOOOOLEY! Maybe RGIII can convince him to come back. You just know he’s got enough...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 days ago  |  Discuss

KSK Mailbag: Welcome back, anal questions!

Getty ImageEarly in the KSK sexbag’s existence, readers seemed to only have one interest: convincing their love interest to try anal, to the point that everyone who read it was like, “ENOUGH WITH THE ANAL.” And while I hope that doesn’t return as a weekly staple, I’m pleased that today’s anal question at least has a different angle.But let’s talk about MY gaping hole...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
6 days ago  |  Discuss

Donovan McNabb Reportedly Arrested For DUI In Arizona In January But The Mug Shot Comes Now

[via]Donovan McNabb was arrested in Maricopa County, Arizona, which put him unfortunately in the jurisdiction of celebrity racial profiling sheriff Joe Arpaio. Early Thursday afternoon, Arpaio’s office released a mug shot of Donovan McNabb without any details of what, exactly, McNabb had been arrested for.Since Arpaio made a stunt of it and released a celebrity mugshot before he...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
6 days ago  |  Discuss

Ugly Bowl Voting: Finals

Finally. After months of voting, of waiting, and of petty insults levied at the athletes we would almost certainly be killed by should they ever find out where we live, we have reached the 2013 National Football League Ugly Bowl Championship. And it’s a doozy.Representing the NFC, we have Mike Glennon.[via]Glennon was one of the early favorites to win it all, and between his weird...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
6 days ago  |  Discuss
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