LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER

KSK Mailbag: Terrible advice for dating your co-workers (or anyone)

Hello and welcome once more to the KSK mailbag! Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it? OH GOD WE’RE CHATTING ABOUT THE WEATHER JUST GET TO THE SEX.Very well. Let’s get to your questions. As always, if you have something for next week’s mailbag, email us!Dear KSK, Sex: I work with a girl who’s incredibly intelligent, beautiful and has a dry, dark sense of humor that I really...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
36 minutes ago  |  Discuss

The Year Without The Jills

Getty ImageIn the wake of a lawsuit filed by five former Buffalo Bills cheerleaders for failure to be paid minimum wage for hours that also detailed, among other things, that the team subjected the squad to “jiggle tests” and instructed cheerleaders specifically how to wash their vagina, the Jills squad has announced they won’t be leading any cheers for the 2014 season.Stephanie...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
41 minutes ago  |  Discuss

Better Know A Former Backup QB: Rob Johnson

Getty ImageIn order to get you through the drudgery of the off-season we here at KSK are cranking up the nostagia machine and looking at some of the immortal backup quarteracks in NFL history. You’ve loved some of these guys, and utterly ******* loathed others, but you definitely remember them. Either way, you might be wondering what they’ve been up to since, so that’s why...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
5 hours ago  |  Discuss

Mo Wilkerson Promotes Pyramid Scheme On Instagram

If you follow Jets defensive end Mohammed Wilkerson on Instagram, you may have seen posts like this one, in which he encourages you to become a business partner in a company called WakeUpNow. Well, if you’ve been considering this even for a second, we have some strong advice for you: DON’T ******* DO IT! IT’S A PYRAMID SCHEME! THEY’RE GONNA TAKE ALL OF YOUR MONEY!Per our...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
6 hours ago  |  Discuss

This Week In F*ck You: Mandolines

No, mandolines. Not mandolins. That’s another This Week In **** You.This is a story from back when I was just a tiny robot fighting a baby dinosaur.I loved cooking. I still do. I helped my parents in the kitchen all the time. I loved the deep hum of the mixer, and the fact that I knew that whenever it was turned on, I’d get to have a taste of the cookie or cake dough. I loved...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
7 hours ago  |  Discuss

The Seahawks: Too Awesome For Primetime Home Games

The defending Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks are scheduled to take part in four primetime games in the 2014 season. Though after the season opening game against the Packers (which they kind of have to host, unless a baseball team feels like messing up the scheduling) all the Seahawks’ remaining primetime games are on the road.There’s a reason for that, of course: the Seahawks...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
8 hours ago  |  Discuss

Russell Wilson gets a divorce, and NFL players say they want guaranteed contracts?

In perhaps the biggest on-the-field news of the NFL league year thus far, Russell Wilson got divorced yesterday. The Seahawks rightfully did the right thing and made a official announcement that there starting QB broke up with his wife, although I would of preferred to of heard this from Roger Goodell since its a Quarterback driven league and will impact Ron Jaworskis preseason NerdBoard...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
10 hours ago  |  Discuss

Winner Of The Rams’ $100,000 Schedule Contest: The Rams

The St. Louis Rams got themselves some easy attention by dangling the highly remote possibility that a fan could win $100,000 by correctly predicting their 2014 schedule. Not only the order of opponents but also which day of the week each game would fall on. If it sounded difficult, it’s because it was. The estimated odds were 1 in 16,294,782,089,552,200.So not surprising that...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
10 hours ago  |  Discuss

Keith Olbermann’s NFL Schedule Rant Was Really Dumb

Ever since Keith Olbermann returned to ESPN, he’s had a few memorable takedowns of NFL blowhards, whether it be Dan Snyder or Pete Prisco. With the arrival of the NFL schedule on Wednesday night, it was apparently mandatory for all producers of hot sports takes to have Something To Say about it. For the most part, the gripe was that the NFL tries too hard to manufacture an event...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
11 hours ago  |  Discuss

The NFL Schedule Trolls The Jaguars

One thing you may not have noticed about the NFL schedule release: each week of the schedule posted on the NFL’s website comes with a description of what the league thinks will be the narrative of that week. It should be fun to see if what they think will be a big deal in April will still be the case when that week comes around. For example, Week 12 is McCown Returns to Face The...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
13 hours ago  |  Discuss

NFL Schedule Release Live Blog: Who gets Saturday Football Back?!?

Somewhere along the line during the prolonged wait for the 2014 NFL schedule, it started to be a thing at the cool kids table to say they didn’t care about schedule release day. Zero ***** given. Too far away. There’s baseball and hockey and basketball and Champions League and episodes of “The Americans” to catch up on, DOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN’TTTTT CAAAAAAAAARRRRREEEEE...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

NFL Schedule Release Spoilers

Today is NFL release day. Have you already reserved your NFL Release Day booth at Buffalo Wild Wings with appropriate Pepsi products? You should! But if for some reason you can’t make it out for the big celebration, KSK has you covered.- NFL releases a schedule of schedule releases to coincide with every day of the NBA Playoffs because Mark Cuban had to open his big mouth.- Chiefs...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

KILL KILL KILL: Training Camp Fight

You like to see a little species on species mixing it up. Really toughens up the entire wilderness. Gives scorpions the fierceness they need to take it out on the competition. In this case, you might say the fight goes too far because one of them ends up dying, but too bad, that’s why they invented non-guaranteed contracts.
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

Kommentariat Komments of the Week: April 16 – 22

Trying to pick the best comment from Cheesy Names For The New Packers Dating Site would harder to do than picking a favorite star from the night sky, the best nacho on the plate or even the greatest guitar cord ever strummed. It would be impossible. Every comment made us laugh harder than the next, a truly glorious day in KSK Kommentariat history. When pointing new readers to the...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

Better Know A Draft Pick: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

Getty ImageFirst name: Ha’SeanLast name: Clinton-DixCurrent nickname: Ha HaOld nickname: LOLFuture nickname: [laughing emoticon]How to remember his name: Imagine laughing at Bill Clinton’s penis.Height: 6’1″Weight: 208 lbsPosition: Free safetyCollege: Roll damn laughterHigh school: Dr. Phillips High School in, home of the strangest logo in central Florida.Other famous alumni...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

Owner Khan has a problem with the Jacksonville market

Getty ImageJaguars owner Shahid Khan had some rich man’s real talk for the business community in Jacksonville during a luncheon at the Jacksonville World Affairs Council, which is apparently an organization that is focused on getting the citizens of Northeast Florida to become better informed participants in the global community. Good luck with that.To a question about Jacksonville...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

SRRY BOUT TXT BILL. HERE IS UR BILLS HOODIE.

(via Getty Image)Even in the offseason, the Buffalo Bills find a way to have tragically ludicrous and ludicrously tragic events befall their franchise. This week, they were forced to settle a class-action lawsuit for $3 million dollars from fans who were angry that they received too many texts. That probably sounds ridiculous already, but you may be wondering just how many extra...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Tim Tebow Is An SEC-Speed Lumberjack. Let’s Photoshop Him.

Working out with @TimTebow. #OperationBiceps pic.twitter.com/VxVtENNo33— Jase Robertson (@JaseDuckman) April 21, 2014One of those guys from Duck Dynasty that didn’t get kicked off the show spent Easter Monday with Tim Tebow, and now we have this: the most Tim Tebow picture ever tweeted, featuring Tebow taking an axe to a tree that… actually, the more you look at it, doesn...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Nice Work, Draftniks

Do you need another reminder that draftniks don’t know ****? Nope, probably not, but here’s a fun one anyway: Sam Monson of PFF found this list of top prospects for the 2008 Draft in a game late in the ’07 season. Haha, Brian Brohm. He played in three NFL games.– ESPN will get to televise a Wild Card game and NBC will get a divisional round playoff game this season. Honestly...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

The Death of Pat Tillman, 10 Years Later

Getty ImageIt was April 22, 2004 that former Arizona Cardinals safety Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan by friendly fire from a fellow Army Ranger when Tillman’s platoon was in the process of assisting fellow Rangers who had been ambushed when their Humvee broke down in the mountains.What’s most tragic perhaps is that the cause and aftermath of Tillman’s death have overshadowed...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

49ers Fans Freak Out Over Seahawks-Colored Train Seats Because The Off-season Is Long And Dull

San Francisco’s Bay Area Rapid Transit – more commonly known as BART – is installing some new trains. There’s just one problem; the seats on these trains happen to be blue and green – the colors of the Seattle Seahawks, the Niners’ most hated rival over the past few years. As a result, these new trains are causing a lot of outrage from angry football fans who don’t...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Some lunatic designed a U.S. Airways model plane vibrator

And that lunatic is me folks.Thats right with little to no REAL sports goign on during the NFL off season (even though there technicaly is no off season in the NFL), my leasure time pursuits lead me elsewhere. And this week it took me to a place that even I thought Id never go- designing and trademarking sex toys.By now we’re all familiar with what happened with US Airs twitter...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Peter King Says Drafting A Quarterback In 2014 Is Nerve-Racking For The First Time Ever

[via]When last we left Thursdayish Monday writer, Peter King, he was consulting his favorite source, anonymous cowards in NFL front offices, to say bad things about Jadeveon Clowney. Meanwhile, he was talking up Tom Savage as the hottest rising star in the draft purely on the fact that Savage’s agent mentioned that his client has a lot of planned meetings with teams. Later in the...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Special Report: Defending the Shield with Nancy Grace

Nancy Grace: Good evening, ladies and geeeentlemen. Tonight, it’s time to address ah SCOURGE, ah TRAGEDY that threatens to consumer our every breath in deep darkness: the ongoing deterioration of America via the arrest of players from the NATIONAL FEWTBAWL LEAGUE. Most atrocious is the REPREHENSIBLE BEHAVIOR of TWO members of the San Francisco 49ers football squad, Chris Culliver...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Bridgewater at 33? The Mock Draft Industrial Complex Strikes Again!

The other day, I was lying in bed at 1:30 in the afternoon like the lazy slob I am, when something on ESPN’s ticker caught my eye. The sentence read “33. Houston Texans – Teddy Bridgewater – QB (Louisville).” Wait, what? Bridgewater’s going to the second round now?! We care about Pro Days THAT much. Well, apparently that’s how Kiper has this going down in his latest...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss
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