LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER

The Redskins Want to Sell You a Joint Practice Shirt For $30

Via Twitter Hey, at least they’re honoring the oppressors too! [via]
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
9 minutes ago  |  Discuss

Meet your 2014 Hall of Fame inductees

This weekend is football. Yeah, it’s a crappy exhibition game between the Bills and Giants that we will all be turning off halfway through to rewatch Sharknado 2, but it’s still football, dammit. The Hall of Fame game might be a joke, but what it celebrates is not a joke. Lets look at the seven players who receive the highest honor in football this weekend.  DrawPlayDave Andre...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
57 minutes ago  |  Discuss

KSK Mailbag: It’s time to prepare for your fantasy draft!

Getty Image Hello and welcome to the LAST DAY OF JULY! The last day of July means that tomorrow is August, which means that the preseason is almost here, which means that you should start preparing for your fantasy drafts. YAY FANTASY!!! Here are my three steps to fantasy draft preparation: Create a pre-draft player ranking. Participate in at least one mock draft. Say goodbye...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
17 hours ago  |  Discuss

Marshawn Lynch Ends Holdout

On the eighth day of his holdout, Marshawn Lynch announced that he will in fact report to Seahawks camp within the next 24 hours. As of Tuesday, the Seahawks could have fined him $405,000 for the time he missed, with the figure raising by the day. Per the rules of the NFL’s collective-bargaining agreement, Lynch can be assessed fines of $30,000 per day for each day he misses. Beginning...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
17 hours ago  |  Discuss

White History Month: The 2014 All-Grit Team

KSK Well fokls, White History Month has come to a end and I had such a great time reliving some of the proudest traditons of White NFL Heritage with fans of ALL races. Last year we ended it with a creaton of a alltime great White NFL player named the “scrap heap” but this year were going to do a all american team of all americans fokls. May I present to you the “2014 All Grit...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
18 hours ago  |  Discuss

Chiefs Apparently Playing 2014 Without Secondary

For a team that got embarrassed and destroyed by having a cheesecloth secondary in the playoffs last year, the Chiefs sure haven’t made moves to secure that side of their defense, whether or not it’s because of salary cap space or bad luck with injuries. First, they released Pro Bowler, and occasional Jim Steinman-worshipping Killers frontman, Brandon Flowers who got picked up...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
18 hours ago  |  Discuss

KLEARINGHOUSE: Shad Khan Has The Chill Owns

Via Twitter Still never forgiving the Jaguars for this, but that’s a mighty snazzy cover photo of Shahid Khan is full-on party owner mode. As it’s been pointed out, VOID is just a tremendous name for a lifestyle magazine based in Jacksonville. Anyway, hope this means Shad Khan will only spend his time during home games in the cabana seats instead of the ever going in the owner’s...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
22 hours ago  |  Discuss

Washington Post Letter to the Editor: Ray Rice gives Cavemen a Bad Name

This might be the best Letter to the Editor you’ll read. Apparently, one Washington Post reader and Flintstones fan in Takoma Park took issue with the paper referring to Ray Rice’s domestic abuse incident as “going all Flintstone on his wife”. He was then spurred on to write an at-once-heartwarming-yet-slightly-obsessive defense of Fred Flintstone, who, for all his faults...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
22 hours ago  |  Discuss

Peyton’s Letters from training camp #1: Eli, you’re being a baby

Getty Image Dear Eli: Thank you for your letter. I don’t have a roommate. My contract states I get my own penthouse and a private chef on call 24 hours a day. You have roommates? That seems odd since we have the same agent. Ol’ Tom Condon didn’t add that to your deal? Sounds off. Going to have Dad look into it for you. As for the mini-fridges, you really shouldn’t call...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

KSK Training Camp Round Up Week 1: Hard Hits

Getty Image We’ve spent so much time talking about the Ravens, Giants, Browns and then Ravens again this past few days, it felt like we should get caught up on what the rest of the league is up to in the first week of training camp. Is it a hundred percent accurate? No, but it’s the best roundup of news you’re going to read from an NFL writer still in their pajamas. - The Miami...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

Arian Foster Continues To Just Be The Best, Trolls The Media

via RantSports So here’s some good news for a change. Arian Foster, well known for being generally awesome most of the time, has once again brightened our day by trolling the media. In a transcript of an interview posted on CSNHouston.com, Foster answered an interviewer’s questions with the exact right answer to please sportswriters, the media, and the fans. Only problem is...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

You’ll Pay For This, Jaguars

Via Twitter Really, is a little attention from the national media really worth prostrating yourself to the Nugget Baron? We all know the Jags want to show off their fancy new jumbotron, but there have to be better ways to do so. For example, they could a montage of grisly murders or, if that’s too much, a test pattern. Literally anything else would do. Anyway, hope this supplicating...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

White History Month: Jay Cutler and Philip Rivers

DockSquadSports Are they Elite? Probly not. Are they sometimes really good? Sometimes. Are they both beacons of White quarterback play who deserve are admiration? Absoluteley. But heres something you dont know about them : There twin brothers. Legend has it that these two are secret fraternityal twins born a long the banks of a river between the worlds two most annoying citys. There...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

KLEARINGHOUSE: Patrick Peterson Celebrates New Contract With Crying Emojis

Twitter Patrick Peterson and the Cardinals agreed to a five-year contract extension worth $70 million, but really actually worth $48 million because that’s what’s guaranteed. Nevertheless, it allows Peterson to call himself the highest paid cornerback in the league. New contract in hand, it didn’t take Peterson long to further stoke the very public pissing match between he...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

Kommentariat Komments of the Week: July 23-29, 2014

KSK Welcome to the KSK Kommentariat, where you can smell the season coming. It was refreshing to see some honest football debate about which teams the Kommentariat felt were left off the KSK Scale of Sadness. Lions, Bengals, Dolphins and Cards fans united in saying, “God we suck. Please remember us in your prayers this season.” Add in this week’s epic draft of our worst football...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

KILL KILL KILL: Jay Cutler Shreds Arizona

House cats are perhaps the cruelest killers in the world outside of humans, so fitting that kitty leaves the quarry for its master to finish the job after torturing the hell out of a captured cardinal. I’d like to believe the cat is thinking, “Oh, you like watching this so much? Well, YOU finish the job.” I’d condemn these owners more harshly for sitting there gleefully filming...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
1 day ago  |  Discuss

LOLNFL: 2014 Training Camp Part 1

Via SI Via SI Via SI Via SI Via NFL.com Via NFL.com Via NFL.com
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

YEEE-HAAAAA! The Oakland Raiders could move to San Antonio, Texas

KSK Apparently the Raiders are more upset than we thought over Roger Goodell’s suggestion they share the new Levi’s Stadium with the 49ers while a new stadium presents itself in Oakland. So upset, Mark Davis is looking for a cozy little stadium down in San Antonio, Texas where he can, “place a statue of his father in front of [it].” How quickly could this whole deal turn...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Fans Are Always More Supportive When You Haven’t Had The Chance To Annoy Them

Getty Image Training camps are underway, meaning reporters have more access to players than they have the past few months. More access means more chances for leading questions meant to generate headlines. A popular one this year, or at least one that has been successful generating #content, is asking a new free agent acquisition whether he likes his new team’s fans better than...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

How the Ravens can look even worse handling the Ray Rice suspension

The Ravens, undeterred by how the world reacted to them living-Tweeting the Ray Rice press conference in which his own wife apologized for being the victim for abuse, seem to be doubling down on how low they can drag their franchise’s image. One would think that Kevin Byrne, Senior Vice President – Public & Community Relations, would have taken something away from the very...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

Andre Reed Called Johnny Manziel ‘Johnny Rookie ********

Getty Image In a piece in New York Magazine that mostly focuses on the future of the Bills, Bon Jovi’s attempt to purchase the team and the enmity the city of Buffalo has for him, there’s a section where two fans trying to keep the team in Buffalo catch up with Andre Reed, the soon-to-be Hall of Fame enshrined former Bills receiver, in a casino. While expressing such sentiments...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

KSK Exclusive: Inside Look At The New ‘Redskins Facts’ PR Campaign

Via Twitter, we’ve been alerted to new ad campaign the Washington Redskins are running on Sports Illustrated’s website, presumably to rekindle public support of the team, as well as the team name. Snyder’s quest to prove that his beloved team name isn’t racist goes a little deeper, though. We dug through the SI.com source code, and were able to unearth many more ads set...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

We Simulated The 2014 NFL Season One Million Times And Roger Goodell Died In Eight Of Them

Via Tombstone Generator y'all The folks at Football Outsiders ran a little experiment the other day in which they simulated the 2014 NFL season a million times and found that the Oakland Raiders, who boast both the lowest mean projected DVOA and the most difficult projected schedule, would win the Super Bowl 373 times. Even that figure sounds high but I won’t argue with statistics...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
2 days ago  |  Discuss

KLEARINGHOUSE: The 2014 Conversion Van Craze

Via Julie Cousins In 2014, you’re not **** in the NFL unless you’re pushing an old conversion fan. For example, Jay Cutler has one, as does future New Yorker scribe Kirk Cousins. And everyone knows that Rob Ryan has been rolling his smelly old van through the drive-in porn theaters of our great country. Okay, that’s the only three that I know of, but it’s a hard-and-fast...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss

Fun With Peter King: World Tour has started and you can Tweetup with him!

KSK When we last left our favorite Nuggeteer, he was just getting back from vacation and calling for the US involvement in the Russia-Ukraine situation. This week he starts his annual trip visiting training camps around the country. Hope he brings up Gaza down in Texas. As always, this column has been edited from its original running time for length and sanity. Parental guidance...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
3 days ago  |  Discuss
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