LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER
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14 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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She’s gone from suck to blow. Graphic designer Ken Carbone picked out the NFL’s three worst helmets (Pats, Bucs, Redskins) and crafted some truly inspired insipid redesigns. His vision for the Redskins is meant to resemble a Native American’s headdress, but really...
KSK Off-Topic: Some Thoughts on Veterans Day
15 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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This has nothing to do with the NFL, and it’s not very funny. But if you’re interested in the military roots of a football blogger, read on.
I did a reading last week. The person organizing the event, knowing of my experience as a Marine in the initial invasion of Iraq...
KSK Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week — Week 9
16 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Chris Johnson is your lion-maned Meast after shredding the 49ers defense for 135 yards and two scores. Add to that the fact that he had another 80-yard TD nullified by penalty, and that’s a textbook Meastian performance. We almost gave it to him the other week after his “...
Better Help Out Your Brah, Brah
16 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Brah, I don’t even know how to react to that! First, I’m all, like, WHEW! There’s Coldplay on the Pod. I praise Brahman for Coldplay. But then you go drop bombs on my moms with the no DMB disclosure. That’s like play-action mindf*ck, brah.
Brah! Is your black...
Ocho And Marvin, Under One Roof! The Care Package Episode
16 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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In an effort to regain control of his team, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis decides to take the drastic step of bringing volatile wideout Chad Ochocinco into his home in a spirited attempt to get the two men to understand one another.
Marvin: Hey, Chad! Chad! Get down here! Victory Monday is [...]
Neckbeard Jokes and Pidgin Asian Accents: It’s Gonna Be a Looooooonnnnnnnnng Night at the Steelers-Broncos Liveblogkkake
16 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Steelers at Broncos MNF Live-Blog
Our resident Steelers fan is taking the night off to watch the game at a bar with his Steeler friends, but we’ll still have gay mafia quorum here at the live blog, as we pull our weekly stunt of spending as much time typing and reading comments...
No Need To Worry, ‘The Brass’ Has An Idea
16 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Another week, and another demoralizing loss for the Redskins. As if things weren’t quite bad enough the team will now have to do without Clinton Portis for a while after the running back sustained a concussion in Sunday’s loss to the Falcons. But fear not, Redskins fans...
Semi-Fictional Jay Cutler Is the New Semi-Fictional Philip Rivers
17 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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All I wanted to do was call Vanderbilt gay, but I like the direction this went. And while it doesn’t fit in with the “Whatever” version of Jay Cutler we’ve envisioned at KSK, the @NotJayCutler Twitter feed is probably as close to reality as good ol’ ...
Peter King: Devil On A Red Dress
17 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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When we last left noted football learner Peter King, he was eagerly discussing the constant, bulbous throbbing of Brett Favre’s groin. Could that groin injury do Favre in, right in the middle of such a great season? I don’t know. If you touch Favre’s throbbing groin, does a...
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
17 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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The Eagles and Cowboys meet with NFC East primacy on the line. Just weeks ago, the Iggles lost to the Raiders and the Cowboys had to squeak by the Chiefs. Now suddenly, they’re teams of consequence once more. It’s key for Dallas to build as large a division lead as possible...
DAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW JAMBALAYA ZYDECO TRUE BLOOD VAMPIRES
17 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Some people sincerely want to push Carolina as an upset possibility over the unbeaten Saints because cornball Cajun bag of suck Jake Delhomme has never lost a start in the Superdome and John Fox is 7-0 there as a head coach. And hey! They’ve won three of their last four. Even...
‘But We Let ‘Em Off the Hook!’ Your Week 9 Early Game Thread
18 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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A rundown of today’s early games. Check the TV distribution maps at the 506 for local coverage.
Cardinals at Bears — The last time these two teams met, Dennis Green’s Buzzsaw jumped all over an error-prone Rex Grossman (SIX turnovers! Let’s see you do that...
Sexy Friday Is Sexier Than Usual
19 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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I’m a fan of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders’ iconic uniforms, with the boots and the tassels and the puffy sleeves and the hey hey hey. But if they were to permanently changes over to Daisy Dukes and cutoff plaid shirts, I don’t think I’d be able to complain...
What a Surprise.
19 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Whoa, whoa, whoa… tickets are still available to the Lions-Seahawks game this Sunday because Detroit fans aren’t going to make the trip? But this is the weekend’s premiere matchup between a 1-6 team and a 2-5 team! Hell, the last time these two teams faced off, the...
Always Be Covering: Where ‘Perfect’ Is a Relative Term
20 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Now that I’m done poring over photoshops of Andy Reid’s face on some of the internet’s more iconic images I can return my focus to gambling. Sweet income-sapping gambling. You’ll help me get rid of all these nasty bills, won’t you? Yeah, you’ll...
2004 Draft QBs With Fewer Rings Than the Giant Tard Taken Several Picks Later. WHO YA GOT?
20 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Elisha and Marmalard will forever be inextricably linked as the top two quarterbacks selected in the 2004 NFL Draft, but more so because they were swapped for one another because Eli Manning is a prissy little bitch who refused to play in San Diego. Also, they’re both tremendously...
The Andy Reid O-Face Photoshop Contest: Honorable Mentions
20 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Submitted by Nick-A-What.
Submitted by Terdell Sands.
Submitted by our very own Christmas Ape.
Submitted by Skins.
Submitted by Retom Granks.
Submitted by Purple Moses.
Submitted by Tanner.
Submitted by starksgotejected.
Submitted by watzgerald.
Submitted by Istvan.
Submitted by famousmortimer...
The Andy Reid O-Face Photoshop Contest: And the Winner Is…
20 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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…Grimey! It was tough to pick one winner from all of those submissions, but Grimey’s won out in the end. Continue after the jump for some additional awards…
A special .gif award goes out to the estimable LSU Freek for this entry…
The volume award goes to...
I Work the Angles, Sharp and Precise: The KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag
21 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Time again for the KSK sexbag, the weekly feature that combines flex positions and sex positions, PPRs and STDs, running back handcuffs and the ones you use on the freaky coworker.
This installment runs kind of long, as I compiled most of it during the World Series game last night...
Andy Reid O-Face Photoshop Contest Update: Pfah Isn’t Messing Around
21 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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The photoshopper who first inspired this contest is back with his second entry, and it’s pretty fantastic. Then again, I’m a sucker for anything that reminds me of the glorious Beaker In DC meme. There have been numerous other submissions, including 20 from one extremely...
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21 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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SUICIDE POOL UPDATE: 244 people are still perfect through eight weeks; that’s about 18 percent of our original suicide poolers. And yeah, there’s a better-than-average chance that there will be more than one competitor standing when we run out of regular-season games. If...
GIANTS SACK! GIANTS SACK! GIANTS FACKIN’ SACK!
21 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Well, well, well. I should’ve known you Philadelphia faggots wouldn’t be able to get the FACKIN’ JAWB DONE against those GAWDDAMN FACKIN’ NEW YARK CAWKSACKAHS! Nevah send a boy to do a BAWSTON MAN’S JAWB!
(spits randomly)
You let us down, Pedro. You were-ah pitchin’...
This Sign Would Be More Effective If Done In Needlepoint
21 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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Courtesy of reader Tim Tebow’s Girlfriend’s Tits comes this sign, apparently posted outside the Chiefs locker room. And now you know why Todd Haley is the lamest coach in the history of everything ever. THAT’LL LEARN YOU GOOD, LARRY JOHNSON. THERE’S NO STOPPING...
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21 days ago by
Kissing Suzy Kolber
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EPISODE 21. GAME SIX AND A HALF. PUNTE and Brandon run through the issues of the day before making NFL picks with special guest “Gordon” and playing the “lost” interview with Jelisa Castrodale of The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy, (she’s also on Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook...
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