LATEST STORIES FROM KISSING SUZY KOLBER

Week 11 Early Games Open Thread

[via]When this Browns fan proposed, I presume he yelled, “Let our powers of misery combine!” Then, his natural doopage kicked in, and he flung the ring over his head straight backward, where it fell through the cracks of a storm drain. Ohio matrimonial bliss was had, just as soon as he pawned all of his possessions to afford a second ring.The second meeting of Cleveland and Cincinnati...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 17, 2013  |  Discuss

The Fans Confront Jaguars Coach Gus Bradley

Everbank Field, Jacksonville, Fla. — Nov. 8 at 9 a.m., shortly before practice…JAGUARS FAN #1: Boo!JAGUARS FANS #2 and #3: Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!JAGUARS COACH GUS BRADLEY: Who are you?FAN #1: We are the Fans Who Say… ‘Boo’!FAN #3: Boo!BRADLEY: No! Not the Fans Who Say ‘Boo’!FAN #1: The same!OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR JEDD FISCH: Who are they?FAN #1: We are the keepers...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 16, 2013  |  Discuss

Dez Bryant Buys PS4s For Nerds Who Probably Don’t Know Who He Is

[via]This past Thursday, Sony Computer Entertainment of America released their next-generation video game console, following the Nintendo Wii U which released last year, and mere weeks before Microsoft will release their own system. It was an important day for nerds that hate sports and play video games other than Madden.  Dez Bryant apparently had thousands of dollars to blow...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 16, 2013  |  Discuss

Sexy Friday Gives You A Peek

Well that’s not at all what I expected. Thankfully all nudity obscuring dogs have been removed from the sexiness to follow. Just a public service because Sexy Friday cares.Onward! GIFs/pics/video via here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 15, 2013  |  Discuss

Foodball: Sweet Ancho Chile Roasted Cashews

With Thanksgiving coming up soon, it’s never a bad idea to start thinking about what sort of snacks you’ll need before the turkey (no, not Steelers-Ravens in the evening) for the early games without spoiling the feast. Roasted nuts are great for any part of the year, but for some reason we’re always so centered on grilling meats, putting together dips and sandwiches, and working...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 15, 2013  |  Discuss

Always Be Covering: Week 11

What an idiot. Revis doesn’t even play for them anymore.Last Week: 3-0 Last Week’s Stupid Ass Single-Game Parlay: 0-1About that… Parlays are hard? Fortunately single bets are so easy that we can all get rich and retire to private islands. Wait, can you get Sunday Ticket on private islands? Being ultra-wealthy is going to be complicated.Stupid Ass Single Game-Parlays Overall...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 15, 2013  |  Discuss

16 Drew Brees fun facts

Drew Brees is an interesting guy. Many people know most facts about him, such as the fact that he is shorter than the prototypical NFL Quarterback. Or that he owns a Jimmy Johns. Or that he thinks the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay are treated super well.But those are the big facts. I like to know a man more personally, in a way you can’t gather from just a few articles and twitter...
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November 15, 2013  |  Discuss

AFC South Teams Still Can’t Finish Off The Colts

Two out of the last three weeks, division opponents have had the Colts dominated at halftime, only to swiftly blow it in the second half. At least the Texans had the excuse of their head coach collapsing at the break. Tennessee has no such explanation.The Titans took a 17-6 lead into the locker room. By the halfway point of the third quarter, Andrew Luck had already juked out a Titans...
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November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

You’re Tardy to Smarty Cromartie’s Hearty Bacardi Party

New York Jets cornerback, and industrial-strength broadcast seeder, Antonio Cromartie who is probably best known for mentally taking a play off during HBO’s Hard Knocks when asked to name his ten children, apparently got the ol’ nut cut back in 2011, feeling that ten children was probably enough.In Nicholas Dawidoff’s new, thoroughly-titled book, Collision Low Crossers: A Year...
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November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

Colts-Titans TNF Live Blog, Second Half

That’s right, NFL Network introduced Andrew Luck with a graphic that lauded his off-the-charts intangibles. Never mind that intangibles by nature can’t be measured, which is the very thing that makes them intangible. I just assume that Mike Mayock made a line graph where the y-axis is “time Andrew Luck is on screen” and the x-axis is “Mayock boner size” then drew a straight...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

WATCH: Erik Walden headbutts a helmetless Delanie Walker

After being dominated throughout the first half, the wheels started to come off for the Colts at the end of the first half. Indy incurred two personal foul penalties, the most flagrant of which being Erik Walden’s headbutt on a helmetless Delanie Walker. Helmetless because Walden ripped it off his head. Yet somehow Walden wasn’t ejected for this. Nevertheless, you better believe...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

Colts-Titans TNF Live Blog, First Half

What losing to Jacksonville looks likeTwo teams just four days removed from horrific losses! What fun! It’s impractical on so many levels, but I would love it if the teams that suffered the worst two losses from the week before had to play the Thursday game the following week. The ultimate punishment! Anyway, which team can rebound? Or will neither team bounce back? Both simply...
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November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

Failing Marriages, Dynasty Leagues, and Female-Friendly Porn: The KSK Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag

I wasn’t dating very actively before I lucked into meeting my wife, and the notion of being single now is foreign and terrifying. For one thing, as someone with a relatively large internet footprint, the idea of using Tinder or OkCupid gives me hives. And, as Aziz Ansari talked about on Conan in the video above, texting makes dating theoretically easy but actually kind of awful...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

Ed Reed Signs With The Jets

[via]As expected, Ed Reed didn’t remain a free agent long after being cut by the Texans earlier this week. The nine-time Pro Bowler signed with the Jets a day after clearing waivers, reuniting him with Rex Ryan, who coached Reed as a defensive coordinator in Baltimore before he became the Jets head coach.Rex told the media this week that he is satisfied with the play of his safeties...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

Rest Assured, Little Kid Philip Rivers Was Crazy Too

One doesn’t become a hyper intense maniac like Philip Rivers overnight, so it should come as little surprise that Marmalard exuded the same behavior when he was a wee little tyke, so over-the-top competitive that he scared away the neighborhood children.Philip Rivers, son of a football coach, would bring home the chalk and the end zone pylons from the high school equipment room...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

Ndamukong Suh Says, Sorry, No Killing This Sunday

(via Getty Image)The Steelers host the Lions on Sunday. Other than the fact that everyone is wondering how the Lions will manage to screw up the inside track for the NFC North title, there’s not a whole lot of drama to be manufactured about this contest. Pittsburgh sucks this year and the teams have only played eight times in the last 30 years (the only Detroit win in that span...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland's voicemail spammed by team's fans

(via Getty Image)Kudos to you, Miami fans. While no one is exactly fond of Jeff Ireland in NFL circles, the most potent rancor for the man is naturally present in Dolphins fans, who have had to suffer the repercussions of his poor personnel moves. While Ireland’s reported involvement in the ongoing Dolphins bullying fiasco has many questioning whether he will have his job much...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 14, 2013  |  Discuss

Kansas City Chiefs Fans Make Rap Song Littered With Statistical Inaccuracies

Who doesn’t love team-specific rap songs? They’re the number one way to say “I love rap music AND the NFL ” besides getting a neck tattoo or eating a fast-food breakfast. Just make sure that if you make a music video to go along with it, you label it “official” so everyone knows that it’s the real deal, especially when that song is based entirely on your team’s record...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 13, 2013  |  Discuss

RIP Todd Christensen: All-Time Great NFL Perm

The former Raiders tight end died Wednesday morning at the age of 57 due to complications from surgery. He was a five-time Pro Bowler, two-time Super Bowl champion and, perhaps most notably, owner of one of the greatest perms in NFL history. Only Dan Marino and Bernie Kosar could ever come close.
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 13, 2013  |  Discuss

Dwayne Bowe Asked His Arresting Officer If Sonic Was Still Open

Details continue to emerge from Dwayne Bowe’s arrest for speeding and marijuana possession, including the all-important names of the weed strains that Bowe had – Bubba Kush, Fire, Apollo 11. Best of all, however, is the revelation that Dwayne Bowe asked the cop who pulled him over if a nearby Sonic was still open.He apparently had just landed at Kansas City’s downtown airport...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 13, 2013  |  Discuss

THE KOMMENTARIAT KOMMENTS OF THE WEEK: NOVEMBER 6-12, 2013

Welcome to KSK Comments, a place where fine Kommentariat members like Horatio Cornblower and Sill Bimmons get into arguments over the Maginot Line in Cowboys-Saints game open thread. I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your comments of the week.But before we begin, I’d like to thank everyone for adding their own stories of being bullied or being a bully in our KSK Kares...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 13, 2013  |  Discuss

Guy Fieri Took The Oakland Raiders Back To Flavor Town

“I’m gonna make a Mountain Dew and Cheez-it dust for this and deep fry it.”At 3-6, the Oakland Raiders are practically already eliminated from the NFL postseason, what with the Kansas City Chiefs and Denver Broncos heading into their Sunday matchup with a combined 17-1 record atop the AFC West. But it wouldn’t be like Raider Nation and the Black Hole to curl up and die just...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 13, 2013  |  Discuss

NFL Logos As Soccer Badges

There have been many meme-ifications of NFL logos. British logos, fat logos, Peyton-ized logos. To that list, add NFL logos are soccer badges. Surely we’ve always wanted to see our favorite team’s insignia if it belonged in a different sport. Either way, it’s a clever conceit and, save for a few errors regarding which years teams were founded, very well executed.To see the...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 13, 2013  |  Discuss

LOLNFL: Week 10

Original images via Sports Illustrated.
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 13, 2013  |  Discuss

There’s Allegedly A Trent Richardson Orgy Tape

(via Getty Image)TMZ let the world know that someone has reached out to the gossip site about buying an alleged sex tape involving Trent Richardson and a whole bunch of ladies.Someone is shopping explicit footage showing the former 1st round NFL Draft pick engaged in an orgy with at least 3 women.Looks like someone is forever committed to splitting carries. Orgy by committee!We...
Via Kissing Suzy Kolber
November 12, 2013  |  Discuss
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