Originally posted on Deuce of Davenport  |  Last updated 3/1/13
You know David Price wouldn’t be as salty if he had to buy a breast pump for Eva Longoria. *******, I’ll just handle that myself.” Alas he’s stuck with the bill for Evan instead of Eva. Evan Longoria and his girlfriend had their first child and as we all know that means it’s time for friends and family to rush to the baby registry before all the cheap gifts are claimed. Price was slow on the uptake and ended up stuck with the breast pump, the most expensive gift on the registry. “A breast pump,” Price said. “Hey, Evan told me to buy a breast pump. So I bought a breast pump.” He managed to work up some bemused indignation over the whole thing. “Most expensive thing on the registry and I have to buy it.” Price made the mistake of checking to see what the couple needed instead of buying something he thought they could use or the kid could use when she gets a bit older like a onesie from the team shop. I’m like school on a Saturday. No class. Of course $300 means nothing to a player who’s earning $10.1 million this season but as Big Worm says “It’s principalities in this“. Speaking of baby showers, what’s up with men being invited to baby showers the past couple years? Has that always been a thing? I’ve found myself at several wondering what I was doing there along with the other men. We’ve been lucky so far in that they’ve been held at bars so we would congregate at the bar while the women did their thing. I once found myself suckered into some game where I had to wear a trash bag and eat pudding because I had no idea what went on at baby showers. It could also be that I didn’t get suckered. I’m just that stupid and unaware. I wake up with cold sweats in the middle of the night thinking about that day. I’m not mad at being invited to baby showers. Just wondering when that started happening. There’s also the phenomenon of the engagement party. I’m cool with them if I’m not required to give a gift and the couple just wants to celebrate making things official. However I’ve been invited to others where gifts were “encouraged”. **** that. You get one gift. Pick whether you want it for your engagement or wedding. If you’re holding a destination wedding where I have to cross international waters, expect your gift to be on the cheaper end. The exception? The wedding takes place on a boat in international waters and knife fighting monkeys are the post-wedding entertainment. Huzzah. I’ll make it rain on your registry. Short of that, just be aware. I already have three weddings this year. I swear I’ll get someone an air freshener if they decide to go with the Dodge Dart registry. Yes. Dodge has a car registry where people can log on and buy the lucky couple parts of a Dodge Dart. Chimp, you’re finally getting your wedding present. It’s Clutch. I mean a clutch.
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: Jimmy Butler recruiting Kyle Lowry to the Timberwolves

WATCH: Tim Tebow didn't waste any time homering after promotion

Nolan Arenado throws out runner from seated position

NFL fans in Florida seem to like Tom Brady more than any of their three teams’ players

Austin Rivers responds to ‘false’ report about Chris Paul issues

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Mayweather-McGregor fight is reportedly seeking a $10 million title sponsor

Kevin Durant laughs off Rockets’ acquisition of Chris Paul

Terry Francona wearing heart monitor in case of another 'episode'

Albert Almora denies flipping off President Donald Trump during White House visit

Nationals minor league team will give out ‘Ode to Tommy John’ figurines

Blazers post hilarious tweets after acquiring cash from Rockets

The 'You get a steal! You get a steal! Everybody gets a steal!' quiz

Rewriting the Hall of Fame rubric for today's pitchers

Top NBA free agents available

Box Score 6/28: New York loses its zen

Although you have seen this start before, this season is no sequel for the Dodgers

The 'Power hitters are coming for that number one spot' quiz

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Feeding your roundball addiction through the summer months

BIG3 Referee Hotline Bling: Ricky Davis takes unnecessary shots at Al Harrington

Who won Wimbledon the year you were born?

Box Score 6/27: Monday is for all sorts of ballers

Big3 brings summer festival feel to basketball with barnstorming tour

All Sports News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

The 'You get a steal! You get a steal! Everybody gets a steal!' quiz

Rewriting the Hall of Fame rubric for today's pitchers

2017 is not another disappointing sequel for the Dodgers

BIG3 Referee Hotline Bling: Ricky Davis takes unnecessary shots at Al Harrington

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Feeding your roundball addiction through the summer months

The 'Power hitters are coming for that number one spot' quiz

Big3 brings summer festival feel to basketball with barnstorming tour

The 'Tonight, we settle the Beard vs. Brodie debate' quiz

2016-17 NBA Awards: The 8th Man Award for most overlooked player this year

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker