(New York Daily News) Deejays seem to love torturing the Net forward with the vocal stylings of his ex-wife’s new beau. Humphries’ anguish was apparent Wednesday night at WIP, when he arrived to let off steam after a tough loss to the Knicks, but was left fuming after consecutive West songs blared in his ears… Our source, who watched Humphries foul out until 4 a.m., says deejays Chuck Barrett and Scram Jones played a list of West’s tunes, and by the time they got to “Mercy” and “Clique,” Humph was on fire. “He took a bottle of Patron that he didn’t pay for, put it in front of his crotch and dumped the entire thing on the floor, because he was wasted and tired of Kanye songs,” says the source. “Not only was he acting like he was peeing the bottle out, he insisted on staying.” Humphries’ antics follow our report last month that he tried to pick up DJ Kalkutta at SoHo’s Anchor Bar while she was spinning a West tune. “He emailed a couple times, but I never answered,” Kalkutta said.
Good. That’s really all I need to say, but I will continue because bashing Kris Humphries is undoubtedly the easiest thing one can do in the world today. First of all, anyone who spells Chris with a “K” better have two “X” chromosomes. Because those are the only type of human beings allowed to spell their name “Kris.” Hell, when Kris Humphries was Kris Kardashian for that 73 days or however long it was, he wasn’t even the lone Kris in the family. I’m pretty sure that’s the mother’s name, too. S.M.H. How does Kris Humphries even live with himself? He looks like that kid from Twilight and anyone who watches NBA basketball thinks he’s a pretty boy who doesn’t deserve to be on the court. Let alone the fact that a 6’1″ Rajon Rondo sonned him for the world to see, the 2011-12 NBA’s Most Hated Player can’t even enjoy his new home of New York City without being trolled to his face by every DJ in town.
I, for one, would like to commend these disc jockeys. You know how easy it is to suck up to these high profile celebrities just to hopefully, maybe, potentially get invited into their inner circles? Hell, most people are DJ’s just for the lifestyle and the celebrity status which comes along with it. But these NYC DJ’s have morals. They simply refuse to respect this Charmin-soft, Taylor Lautner-looking clown and for that I give them a standing ovation. Kris Humphries is going to be run out of New York in no time. If he were smart he’d head back to Utah or go somewhere that doesn’t have cameras, television, the internet… hell, running water shouldn’t even be on his checklist. Just go into reclusion and resurface when VH1 tracks you down to film “I Love 2011!” Because while New York and I have our differences, we have an evergrowing respect for one another’s ability to hit you where it hurts. For the fame-***** Humphries – taking away his ability to shine in the spotlight is absolutely eating him up inside. It has become evident by his lack of production on the court. And it thoroughly amuses me.