Originally written on Extra Pine Tar  |  Last updated 11/13/14
ESPN College Football analyst, and resident Bachelor, Jesse Palmer lost a little bit of his luster for me today. I’m was just trying to hear some analysis about Stanford and Oregon and all of a sudden Jesse Palmer has that white stuff that comes from your mouth when you’re dehydrated, not in the corners of his mouth, but right in the middle. The piece of flem was connecting his upper and lower gums, creating an almost “Grandpa with his dentures out” look. How awful is it when you’re talking to someone and this happens? Or even worse, they actually gleek a little bit in your face. Coaches and grandparents stick out in mind as the worst offenders. Just a constant stream of excess saliva gathering in the corners of their mouth like old cake frosting. Just really gross stuff. Which is why I was so surprised to see Palmer with a little bit of Grandpa’s icing. For a guy so put together you would think that there would be a FIJI water on ice in a champagne bucket at all times. Then once it happened, he couldn’t tell? All you need is a quick LL Cool J lip smack and you’re good. Make an adjustment.
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