Originally written on The Belly of the Beast  |  Last updated 11/12/14
Alabama-spring-game
Though a significant number of days late and having little to no relevance thanks to the passage of time and a certain linebacker who would be the world's worst Clue player (also: Spades, Hearts, Gin, Go Fish, Old Maid, Uno, Battle, and any other game ever), those who achieved something during 2012 season deserve to be recognized.  Even if such recognition comes on such a scale that Google would get tired of producing search results before it picked up this page. My apologies for its tardiness, as I meant to do it much earlier, but forgot, then remembered, but was like, "Ugh, sounds like a lot of work," then dismissed it, but finally came around to making myself do it.  So, presented in power rankings format because power rankings are king, the 2012 Those Who Achieved Something Rankings of Power. Football 1.  Alabama 2.  Johnny 3.  Georgia 4.  Texas A&M 5.  Florida Angry-Angriest 1.  Will Muschamp 2.  Todd Grantham 3.  Nick Saban 4.  Tammy from Finebaum 5.  Hogville Fired 1.  Gene Chizik 2.  Derek Dooley 3.  Joker Phillips 4.  Trooper Taylor 5.  Brian VanGorder's mustache Sternum Tattoo 1.  AJ McCarron 2.  AJ McCarron 3.  AJ McCarron 4.  AJ McCarron 5.  AJ McCarron (It's a pretty big tattoo) Franklin 1.  Benjamin 2.  James (Vanderbilt version) 3.  and Bash 4.  James (Missouri version) 5.  Tony Retweet 1.  Birthdays 2.  Anniversaries 3.  Road trips 4.  Office decorations 5.  Positive articles about Ole Miss Overthrow 1.  Mettenberger to Jarvis Landry 2.  Mettenberger to Odell Beckham 3.  Mettenberger to Kadron Boone 4.  Mettenberger to James Wright 5.  Mettenberger to Russell Shepard FOIA Request 1.  Calls 2.  Texts 3.  Emails 4.  Letters 5.  AIM Russell 1.  Athletic shorts 2.  Old school jerseys 3.  Tyler 4.  Solid-color t-shirts 5.  Socks Back Nine 1.  Spurrier at Augusta 2.  Suprrier at Athens Country Club 3.  Spurrier at TPC Sawgrass 4.  Spurrier at The Ocean Course at Kiawah 1,893,203.  Nick Saban anywhere S'posed to be SEC 1.  Kentucky 2.  Auburn 3.  Tennessee 4.  Arkansas 5.  Missouri Bert 1.  and Ernie 2.  Bielema 3.  Case (WLBT JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI 4LYFE) 4.  Chili at Waffle House 5.  Bar & Grill in Matlacha, Florida Averaged 10.3 yards/carry against Clemson, but no carries on the last possession 1.  Jeremy Hill 2-∞.  N/A Ignored by Tyler Bray 1.  Two defensive backs 2.  Three defensive backs 3.  One defensive back 4.  Personal watercraft laws 5.  Derek Dooley Lost by Mark Richt 1.  Control 2.  Keys 3.  Butt-dial discipline 4.  Car in Walmart parking lot 5.  Swing set safety Win 1.  The National Championship 2.  The day 3.  The fourth quarter 4.  The turnover battle 5.  This here workout
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