Originally posted on The North End End Zone  |  Last updated 8/15/12

Dictionary.com defines jerkoff as “a stupid, bumbling, foolish, or lazy person; jerk.” Next to it is a picture of this guy:

Ugh, so much hate right now

His name? Well, you should all know this or else you will be the feature of our next HateFest article – Lane Kiffin. Welcome to HateFest, Lane, as today, we attempt to will stomp your worthless ass into the ground.

First things first – how did he manage to land such a hot wife? This is just plain silly. This worthless scumbag was somehow able to land this ridiculously sexy woman. Words cannot describe how much we hate him right now. Life just isn’t fair when a SOB like this can not only make boatloads of money, but also score a woman like Layla. Dammit, even their names sound good together: Lane and Layla. So…angry…right…now…

So unfair

Second, he is a brat; a flat out raging brat where entitlement drips from every pore in his worthless body. His arrogance is conveyed with every word, action, and scandal he involves himself with and you just want to punch him in the face - over and over again until you black out and can’t remember what you’ve done. Can anyone think of a time where they sat back and thought “Hey, he is actually an okay guy.” Helllllllllllllllllllll no! He is a raging douche and it just doesn’t make sense because, after all, he is the son of Monte Kiffin who people actually LIKE.  I wonder how Monte feels about his son bossing him around…

Third, the man has no f*cking soul. Seriously. First, this carpetbagger up and left Tennessee after just ONE season because apparently his **** don't stink and was too good Knoxville and better for the smugness of Southern California. A little fart sniffing anyone? 

In all seriousness, he is probably best suited for the Southern Cal lifestyle of extreme douchebaggery anyway (sorry Southern Cal readers, if you exist). He also made numerous empty accusations to Florida, Alabama, Oregon, Washington, and even Fresno State about cheating. Granted the first three are likely culprits, but the latter two? C’mon, give me a break, especially Fresno State. Honestly, what do they have to gain by cheating? After he left Tennessee, the school actually apologized to each of those other schools for his soulless cheating accusations. Finally, when he left for USC, he stole Tennessee Titans running back coach Kennedy Pola. While it's fairly common to steal coaches, the man didn’t even have the decency to call the NFL and ask permission if he could speak to said coach. Of all things he does bad, asking permission is by far the worst.

Lastly, he coaches at USC where they cultivate douchebags on a regular basis. For instance, Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, OJ Mayo, LenDale White, OJ Simpson, Mark Sanchez, Rob Kardashian, Mark McGrath, Pete Carroll, and others are all part of the Trojan Cult where their **** don’t stink. If not for Troy Polamalu (you’re welcome C Gally), Will Ferrell, or the copious amounts of hot women produced, this school would be a total loss. Let it be known that we will hate him even more now that USC is actually winning again with another set of players he purchased via his elusive boosters.

So with that, we give a big F*CK YOU to Lane Kiffin and wish you all a good day.

MORE FROM YARDBARKER:
Best athlete by state all time
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Russell Westbrook leads NBA in scoring, averages a triple-double… and will not start in All-Star Game

John Tortorella challenges LeBron: “Not a chance” he could play hockey

Orioles, Mark Trumbo close to agreeing on 3-year deal

Report: Khris Middleton could return before All-Star break

Over a dozen Steelers players dealing with the flu

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Mike Mularkey: Marcus Mariota ‘should be ready’ for 2017 season

WATCH: Angry fan interrupts Chargers Los Angeles presser

Serena Williams forced a reporter to apologize for saying she played poorly

Pablo Sandoval has 'reshaped himself' this offseason, John Farrell says

Report: Seahawks could lose second-rounder for not disclosing Sherman injury

Kemba Walker on if he should be an All-Star: ‘Not really,'

NFC & AFC Championship preview: We love scoring

Roger Goodell is a coward, but then we knew that

Box Score 1/19: Happy anniversary to the 'Tuck Rule' game

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

TailGreater: Picking the conference champions by their signature cocktails

Clarification Please: Why college basketball needs to ditch the possession arrow

NBA hotline bling: Derrick Rose gets disconnected

The 'What's a Romo worth these days anyway?' quiz

Melo out: How the Knicks can move on from their superstar

Was Jack Capuano the right person to blame for Isles' woes?

Ten NBA players who need a change of scenery

The 2017 Baseball Hall of Fame Ballot, Part 1

College Football News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

QUIZ: Name the owners of these 50 famous NFL nicknames

NFC & AFC Championship preview: We love scoring

Roger Goodell is a coward, but then we knew that

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

TailGreater: Picking the conference champions by their signature cocktails

The 'What's a Romo worth these days anyway?' quiz

Clarification Please: Why college basketball needs to ditch the possession arrow

QUIZ: Name every NCAA men's and women's basketball team with perfect regular seasons

NBA hotline bling: Derrick Rose gets disconnected

Melo out: How the Knicks can move on from their superstar

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker