Originally written February 12, 2013 on The Belly of the Beast:
By now, you've read about the four Alabama football players charged with various crimes related to beating a fellow student unconscious, stealing student debit cards and credit cards, and using the cards to buy snacks from a vending machine in a campus dorm.  If you haven't read about it, it was as expertly planned and executed as you might think. Alabama athletic director Mal Moore released a statement that essentially said YOU MORONS STAGGERINGLY UNBELIEVABLE MORONS, and Nick Saban has handed all four players indefinite suspensions.  Saban did not go into great detail in his statement, most likely because he was reviewing film of all the second down plays from the last five Octobers and hasn't heard all the details, but he has already ordered a measure to prevent this business from happening again. Saban is known "The Process," which is the guide he uses to collect national championships.  One of the pillars of The Process is that you never let someth...
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